Friday, December 10, 2021

It's Not My Story to Tell

After almost three months of blogging silence, two months of writing morning pages and years of censoring my thoughts and words, the title of this blog post was born.

"Don't air your dirty laundry"; "Be careful what you put in writing"; "Don't give up your guts" are a few of the spoken and implied mantras I grew up with. I worked in the banking industry for decades where confidentiality was a part of my job description at the time and I have carried that forward into my present occupation. I hold confidences and try my best not to betray trust that has been bestowed upon me. 

In the past, I could pull the lesson from what life had in store. Something evolved over the course of time and the words, "It's not my story to tell" became my guiding light. 

I have tamped down my words, thoughts, emotions and reactions as I navigated this time of great withholding. It was this morning when the words came to me (at the end of my third page of morning writing). "My story is how I navigated my side of other people's stories. If I write about my journey, not theirs ... to tell a story without telling ALL ... I think that is the key. My side of the story. Learning as I go. Love and loss and parenting and change and acceptance and curiosity ... and the never ending goal of seeking JOY."

The path I have walked has been mine alone but the other side of the story is still a privacy I want to respect. There have been lessons learned, perspectives gained, a broader understanding and a lot of learning. 

"You need to write from a scar, not an open wound"
 ~ Glennon Doyle wrote this, but I'm unsure who gets credit for the origin of the quote

It is time. Wounds have healed. I'm writing from the right place. 

(the challenge will be to make time to write again)

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