This was the last sentence of a long, forwarded email that I received today. Sometimes you just have to keep reading to the bottom to get the message that you were meant to receive that day!
Monday, September 29, 2008
The Eyes Have It
"The eyes are the window to the soul"
I've been thinking a lot this morning about what we see reflected back to us, when we look into another person's eyes ...
An adoring new parent, gazing lovingly at their brand new baby. Two people newly in love ... trust, hope, fear, appreciation, adoration. Disappointment, hurt, disinterest, disillusionment, indifference ... as that love goes awry. Friends, as we get to know them better ... interest, encouragement, support and all that friendship will endure. We look into the eyes of our furry friends and the body language and all that is spoken in the eyes of our pets. To look into the eyes of a family member and see the reflection of a person you lost years ago ...
There is so much that is spoken and heard when you look into a person's eyes. When I think of the relationships in my life that have flourished ... and those that I lost ... when I think of the eye contact, I can feel the wordless communication that spoke louder than the loudest shouting match ... or the quietness of knowing that another person cared, without a word being spoken.
In almost every case (when it came to matters of the heart), I can recall that the eyes told the story before the words came.
When I was madly in love, that was (usually) reflected back to me. When I saw and appreciated the person for who they were (and not who they weren't), I saw that appreciation reflected back to me. When and how does the hurting begin? Was it the time that I misread his eyes? I thought I saw something that wasn't there? And then when he looked back into mine, did he see the hurt that was reflected back to him?
As with most anything, small things add up. When I saw disinterest reflected back in his eyes, was that simply the reflection of disinterest in mine and did that spur on the sequence of events that ended up with the pain that was eventually reflected back?
Lately, My Youngest has been wondering why animals can't speak to us. It made me reflect on the ease with which a person has, lavishing attention and love on our beloved pets when it is not in our nature to act so outwardly loving to our human companions. Our pets communicate pure and utter trust and love back towards us. The family pet that has been ignored, mistreated and unloved will still gaze up toward you and love you without reservations or conditions. They don't require that 'reflection' back to give their unwavering love. It is akin to the look of a young child, who will gaze into your eyes with that purely unconditional love. They love the world ... and in most cases, the world loves them back.
When I look back at the reflections that I have seen in the eyes of those who have touched my life, I know that when I see the best in a person that is what is usually reflected back to me. And when that same look is reflected back to me in another person's eyes, they usually see the best in me.
"When a person is talking to you, listen to what they are saying with their eyes."
I've been thinking a lot this morning about what we see reflected back to us, when we look into another person's eyes ...
An adoring new parent, gazing lovingly at their brand new baby. Two people newly in love ... trust, hope, fear, appreciation, adoration. Disappointment, hurt, disinterest, disillusionment, indifference ... as that love goes awry. Friends, as we get to know them better ... interest, encouragement, support and all that friendship will endure. We look into the eyes of our furry friends and the body language and all that is spoken in the eyes of our pets. To look into the eyes of a family member and see the reflection of a person you lost years ago ...
There is so much that is spoken and heard when you look into a person's eyes. When I think of the relationships in my life that have flourished ... and those that I lost ... when I think of the eye contact, I can feel the wordless communication that spoke louder than the loudest shouting match ... or the quietness of knowing that another person cared, without a word being spoken.
In almost every case (when it came to matters of the heart), I can recall that the eyes told the story before the words came.
When I was madly in love, that was (usually) reflected back to me. When I saw and appreciated the person for who they were (and not who they weren't), I saw that appreciation reflected back to me. When and how does the hurting begin? Was it the time that I misread his eyes? I thought I saw something that wasn't there? And then when he looked back into mine, did he see the hurt that was reflected back to him?
As with most anything, small things add up. When I saw disinterest reflected back in his eyes, was that simply the reflection of disinterest in mine and did that spur on the sequence of events that ended up with the pain that was eventually reflected back?
Lately, My Youngest has been wondering why animals can't speak to us. It made me reflect on the ease with which a person has, lavishing attention and love on our beloved pets when it is not in our nature to act so outwardly loving to our human companions. Our pets communicate pure and utter trust and love back towards us. The family pet that has been ignored, mistreated and unloved will still gaze up toward you and love you without reservations or conditions. They don't require that 'reflection' back to give their unwavering love. It is akin to the look of a young child, who will gaze into your eyes with that purely unconditional love. They love the world ... and in most cases, the world loves them back.
When I look back at the reflections that I have seen in the eyes of those who have touched my life, I know that when I see the best in a person that is what is usually reflected back to me. And when that same look is reflected back to me in another person's eyes, they usually see the best in me.
"When a person is talking to you, listen to what they are saying with their eyes."
Friday, September 26, 2008
Fulfillment
"I'm drinking from my saucer ... 'cause my cup has overflowed"
This no-stress life is really agreeing with me. I can tell my contentment levels are full to the brim in every action and feeling that I have.
My relationship with food is directly affected by what is going on in my world. I have used food as a substitute for almost everything and anything. These past few weeks, food has not been used in any capacity to console or fulfill me. Food fills me up, but only in the physical sense. 'The budget' has lessened the temptation to snack. But the 'full' feeling inside of me has taken away the urge to snack.
Sleep is another thing that is directly affected by my stress levels. If too much is going on in my mind, I don't sleep well at night and I can fall asleep as soon as I sit still, during the day. It seems that sleep has little to do with tiredness and a lot to do with 'escape'.
The never ending to-do lists in my mind motivate me. But I also become very obsessive. In my daycare-world, I have a schedule that I follow. It serves me well and the kids know what to expect in a day. And when I waiver from it in my regularly scheduled daycare life, it never fails. It throws the day off track and it takes a while to regain lost ground. These past few weeks (of having only a few children to tend and less coming and going) have been amazing. We have not followed that schedule religiously ... and we have survived. In fact, there has been a calmness to the day that has been enjoyable. I haven't done my 'Friday chores' in two weeks. Instead, I've been cleaning on a need-to-do basis. And it gets done.
Not working on Saturdays has been the best medicine of all. That second day off relieves so much pressure during the week. Normally, I place a lot of pressure on myself to tend to all of my work and errands because I can count my weekend in hours instead of days. This obsessiveness that I have throughout the week has a lot to do with having a 40 hour 'weekend'. The complete and utter freedom that I feel when I wake up on a Saturday morning and know that I have one more day off that follows it is amazing. I wake up with a happy heart. Contentment.
Taking away some of the needless pressures in my life has filled something deep inside of me. Some deadlines and pressures are needed to get that feeling of accomplishment. But letting my world be ruled by these lists that I have in my mind, isn't necessarily the best way to go about it.
I love to accomplish 'impossible things'. I love the feeling of accomplishing a lot with my day. But it is a very wonderful thing to take away the outside pressures of the world and start from within.
I believe that world peace starts with one person. Yourself. If every single person in the world woke up with the feelings that I have been feeling these past few weeks, the change would be incredible. We are only in control of one person. Ourselves. I feel that this contentment is touching other lives. I can't control how others act and feel ... but by placing my best self out there, it certainly can't hurt.
One person at a time. If I could give just one gift, it would be to bottle up the recipe for this fulfillment and share it with the world (and I'd like the recipe myself, for when this feeling starts to wane as my regular life starts to work its way back into my days).
This no-stress life is really agreeing with me. I can tell my contentment levels are full to the brim in every action and feeling that I have.
My relationship with food is directly affected by what is going on in my world. I have used food as a substitute for almost everything and anything. These past few weeks, food has not been used in any capacity to console or fulfill me. Food fills me up, but only in the physical sense. 'The budget' has lessened the temptation to snack. But the 'full' feeling inside of me has taken away the urge to snack.
Sleep is another thing that is directly affected by my stress levels. If too much is going on in my mind, I don't sleep well at night and I can fall asleep as soon as I sit still, during the day. It seems that sleep has little to do with tiredness and a lot to do with 'escape'.
The never ending to-do lists in my mind motivate me. But I also become very obsessive. In my daycare-world, I have a schedule that I follow. It serves me well and the kids know what to expect in a day. And when I waiver from it in my regularly scheduled daycare life, it never fails. It throws the day off track and it takes a while to regain lost ground. These past few weeks (of having only a few children to tend and less coming and going) have been amazing. We have not followed that schedule religiously ... and we have survived. In fact, there has been a calmness to the day that has been enjoyable. I haven't done my 'Friday chores' in two weeks. Instead, I've been cleaning on a need-to-do basis. And it gets done.
Not working on Saturdays has been the best medicine of all. That second day off relieves so much pressure during the week. Normally, I place a lot of pressure on myself to tend to all of my work and errands because I can count my weekend in hours instead of days. This obsessiveness that I have throughout the week has a lot to do with having a 40 hour 'weekend'. The complete and utter freedom that I feel when I wake up on a Saturday morning and know that I have one more day off that follows it is amazing. I wake up with a happy heart. Contentment.
Taking away some of the needless pressures in my life has filled something deep inside of me. Some deadlines and pressures are needed to get that feeling of accomplishment. But letting my world be ruled by these lists that I have in my mind, isn't necessarily the best way to go about it.
I love to accomplish 'impossible things'. I love the feeling of accomplishing a lot with my day. But it is a very wonderful thing to take away the outside pressures of the world and start from within.
I believe that world peace starts with one person. Yourself. If every single person in the world woke up with the feelings that I have been feeling these past few weeks, the change would be incredible. We are only in control of one person. Ourselves. I feel that this contentment is touching other lives. I can't control how others act and feel ... but by placing my best self out there, it certainly can't hurt.
One person at a time. If I could give just one gift, it would be to bottle up the recipe for this fulfillment and share it with the world (and I'd like the recipe myself, for when this feeling starts to wane as my regular life starts to work its way back into my days).
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Calm After the Storm
I am revelling in the slow and quiet pace of life around here these days. It is amazing. I am not continually looking at the clock and racing to get more things done in a day than I have time for.
Right now, this is being done consciously as I am slowing my mind and body down so I don't get wound up into an 'overdo' mode. But later, I am wondering what I can incorporate into a new and improved lifestyle??
I love 'moving mountains' in a day ... accomplishing 'impossible things' ... a sense of accomplishment. I also love this new life of leisure. I am beginning to call this time of letting my body heal 'lazy'. I guess for the moment it is okay. But if it carries on beyond this doctor-advised time limit, it is not so great.
But for this moment, I am enjoying this state of calmness. Ahhh .... it is like taking a vacation without even leaving the house (or spending a dollar!!). I think that everyone should book themselves a brief holiday from their harried pace of life. That is a holiday that anyone should be able to afford.
Right now, this is being done consciously as I am slowing my mind and body down so I don't get wound up into an 'overdo' mode. But later, I am wondering what I can incorporate into a new and improved lifestyle??
I love 'moving mountains' in a day ... accomplishing 'impossible things' ... a sense of accomplishment. I also love this new life of leisure. I am beginning to call this time of letting my body heal 'lazy'. I guess for the moment it is okay. But if it carries on beyond this doctor-advised time limit, it is not so great.
But for this moment, I am enjoying this state of calmness. Ahhh .... it is like taking a vacation without even leaving the house (or spending a dollar!!). I think that everyone should book themselves a brief holiday from their harried pace of life. That is a holiday that anyone should be able to afford.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Touched By an Angel ...
I'm still tingling inside, from an encounter I had today ...
I am in the beginning stages of collecting information on my dad's side of the family, to see if I can put together another family history story. Today, an aunt and uncle (my dad's brother) dropped by to give me some information that they had amassed. It was a very brief visit, but I made eye contact with my uncle. We exchanged a few words, his eyes twinkled and I felt Dad's presence in him, in the way he looked at me.
It was a moment. It was precious. I was reminded of the essence of who Dad was in an up close and personal way.
As I move along with this project and collect various stories and memories from the family and Dad's brothers, there is a lot of potential to bring my Dad to life in my heart and soul. He has been gone for a long time. It always surprises me when I have an emotional reminder of who he was. Something that touches something deep inside me ...
I've turned a corner today. Dad's family story will be straight from the heart. I can't wait to begin.
I am in the beginning stages of collecting information on my dad's side of the family, to see if I can put together another family history story. Today, an aunt and uncle (my dad's brother) dropped by to give me some information that they had amassed. It was a very brief visit, but I made eye contact with my uncle. We exchanged a few words, his eyes twinkled and I felt Dad's presence in him, in the way he looked at me.
It was a moment. It was precious. I was reminded of the essence of who Dad was in an up close and personal way.
As I move along with this project and collect various stories and memories from the family and Dad's brothers, there is a lot of potential to bring my Dad to life in my heart and soul. He has been gone for a long time. It always surprises me when I have an emotional reminder of who he was. Something that touches something deep inside me ...
I've turned a corner today. Dad's family story will be straight from the heart. I can't wait to begin.
Taking Back the Weekends
Ahhh .... I have savored 2 weekends off in a row! It has been a glorious sensation to wake up on a Saturday morning and know that I have the day in its entirety to revel in. And then ... I wake up on Sunday and have one more day!!
I have been working 6 days a week (minus long weekends and vacation time) for almost 9 years now. This past spring/summer has been full of family events that have encouraged me to book those Saturdays off of work so I can be a part of the many events that have been going on. This same time, has been full of change at my 'Saturday job'. Change in policy, products, ownership ... And we have been short staffed, so I have been barely treading water to keep afloat at work.
Then ... I got sick (well, needed recovery time from surgery anyway). And knowing that I had those Saturdays off of work was the best cure of all for me. It has awakened a knowledge in me that 6 days is too much. It is time to make a choice. 5 days of work, whether it is from home or at a full time job, is the direction I need to take right now. I know this.
As this realization hit me, I looked at the frantic pace at the world around us. Family members that are working (between all the family members) 7 days a week. Everyone is going in separate directions. Granted, as kids grow up they are going to go off on their own direction anyway. And I suppose it is a consolation that these kids are headed off to a part time job, verses veering off course with a group of friends that don't enhance 'good choices'. But what has happened to weekends? One day to run your errands and tend to what must be done. A second day to focus on fun, family and relaxation in whatever form that may take?
My health stopped me in my tracks 2 weeks ago. I was so very, very fortunate that it was only a minor ailment that a quick trip to the ER was able to fix. But what about the health of the individuals who are dealing with the daily toll of unrelenting stress? It seems to me, that it must take a physical toll on a person's body when there is little or no reprieve from that stress load. And then when that same person works late and on weekends to try to alleviate the week day stress ... there is simply little time for the body to take time to be kind to itself.
Family time, down time, time to destress. Taking back my weekends defines a better quality of life for me. Even if I must make financial sacrifices, I think that 2 days off to spend as I wish, is something that is good for me ... and those around me.
I have been working 6 days a week (minus long weekends and vacation time) for almost 9 years now. This past spring/summer has been full of family events that have encouraged me to book those Saturdays off of work so I can be a part of the many events that have been going on. This same time, has been full of change at my 'Saturday job'. Change in policy, products, ownership ... And we have been short staffed, so I have been barely treading water to keep afloat at work.
Then ... I got sick (well, needed recovery time from surgery anyway). And knowing that I had those Saturdays off of work was the best cure of all for me. It has awakened a knowledge in me that 6 days is too much. It is time to make a choice. 5 days of work, whether it is from home or at a full time job, is the direction I need to take right now. I know this.
As this realization hit me, I looked at the frantic pace at the world around us. Family members that are working (between all the family members) 7 days a week. Everyone is going in separate directions. Granted, as kids grow up they are going to go off on their own direction anyway. And I suppose it is a consolation that these kids are headed off to a part time job, verses veering off course with a group of friends that don't enhance 'good choices'. But what has happened to weekends? One day to run your errands and tend to what must be done. A second day to focus on fun, family and relaxation in whatever form that may take?
My health stopped me in my tracks 2 weeks ago. I was so very, very fortunate that it was only a minor ailment that a quick trip to the ER was able to fix. But what about the health of the individuals who are dealing with the daily toll of unrelenting stress? It seems to me, that it must take a physical toll on a person's body when there is little or no reprieve from that stress load. And then when that same person works late and on weekends to try to alleviate the week day stress ... there is simply little time for the body to take time to be kind to itself.
Family time, down time, time to destress. Taking back my weekends defines a better quality of life for me. Even if I must make financial sacrifices, I think that 2 days off to spend as I wish, is something that is good for me ... and those around me.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Dressing the Part
These post-surgery days have been a very quiet, introverted time for me. It seemed that I wasn't thinking any deep thoughts and the idea of 'blogging' during that time was beyond me. I can tell that my brain is waking up at last and lots of little things that I had been thinking are rising to the surface now.
'Dressing the part' was an apt title for todays musings. The morning that I woke up with my symptoms running rampant, all I did was get dressed and put on my glasses. No shower, no contact lenses, no make up, no fuss or muss in any capacity. And I looked terrible. Now on the other side of the coin I did feel pretty rotten as well, but I really 'dressed the part' and amplified the visual impact.
While in the hospital, I knew that my contact lenses would have had to come out and makeup would be washed off. Why in the world would I go to any trouble to look any better than I felt? It was a waste of time and energy. But when my family doctor walked in my room the morning after my surgery, she was physically turning around and started walking out again. Because she didn't recognize me! She said it was because of my glasses, but you add to that the lack of make up and a very bad hair day ... and I was actually a little bit relieved that she didn't recognize me!
Once I was home, I really didn't see the point in trying to 'pretty myself up'. I showered and freshened up and that helped me feel a little more alive. But I didn't place any more effort into my looks than that. Why?
What I found, is that I acted differently when I didn't take those extra steps to enhance the look of that reflection in the mirror. Yes, I was recouperating from surgery ... but a few strokes of make up and a few extra minutes with my hair would have added a boost of something to my self esteem. I started acting the part of 'patient'.
Five days into my recovery, I had friends over. So I took those extra moments and made myself look healthy. And amazingly, when I took that extra effort I actually felt better as well. I started 'living up' to the reflection in the mirror (still no great shakes, but you should have seen the unadorned me ... not a pretty sight!).
Last week, I took a small step back into my babysitting world (a few of my before and after school kids). I got up every morning and 'dressed for work'. Contact lenses, make up and a bit more fussing with my hair. I was definitely feeling better every day, but I felt the correlation between the way I dressed to the way I felt.
This morning, I face the luxury of a Saturday off!! I don't have kids to babysit and I am on a sick leave from my 'Saturday job'. So I questioned how much effort to put into my looks today.
I have some bookwork to do, so I wanted to get myself into work-mode. That meant putting in my contact lenses (I can see much better with them). And once I made that step, I knew that I should put my 'best face forward'. I took the extra steps to outline my fading features so a person could find my eyes in the bland canvas of my face. I primped with my hair a bit. I dressed the part of a person who was excited about facing the day ... and now I'm prepared to live it.
I once worked in an office where the only contact we had with the public was on the telephone. Our dress code at work was still business attire. And the reasoning behind that was very much what I realized as these past days of not 'dressing the part' of a healthy person. A person's telephone voice picks up on a lot. If you are dressed business-like, you tend to carry that into your voice. When you dress the part, you tend to 'act' the part.
I have had a few friends that have faced very serious health issues. And though I am sure that each of them would have had many days that they weren't feeling their best when I saw them, they 'put their best face forward' and acted the part of a healthier feeling person.
I don't believe that those extra steps of pampering are a cure all. But I do believe that it helps a person to feel a little better about themselves (no matter what they are battling - healing, depression, exhaustion ...) when you take some time to pamper yourself in some way that makes you feel better about yourself.
I have followed Rosie O'Donnell's blog and her comments and advise to others about battling depression are always the same. "Shower, sunshine and move" ... a little bit of 'yellow' in the day (no matter what form it takes for each individual) may not be an end-all solution. But it certainly can't hurt. Feeling good inside, having a positive outlook from within makes a huge difference to how you deal with so many things.
What makes each individual 'act the part' of a happier, healthier, less stressed person is as individual as the person. To take the time for yourself to feel 'yellow' within, is a good investment.
Be good to yourself ...
'Dressing the part' was an apt title for todays musings. The morning that I woke up with my symptoms running rampant, all I did was get dressed and put on my glasses. No shower, no contact lenses, no make up, no fuss or muss in any capacity. And I looked terrible. Now on the other side of the coin I did feel pretty rotten as well, but I really 'dressed the part' and amplified the visual impact.
While in the hospital, I knew that my contact lenses would have had to come out and makeup would be washed off. Why in the world would I go to any trouble to look any better than I felt? It was a waste of time and energy. But when my family doctor walked in my room the morning after my surgery, she was physically turning around and started walking out again. Because she didn't recognize me! She said it was because of my glasses, but you add to that the lack of make up and a very bad hair day ... and I was actually a little bit relieved that she didn't recognize me!
Once I was home, I really didn't see the point in trying to 'pretty myself up'. I showered and freshened up and that helped me feel a little more alive. But I didn't place any more effort into my looks than that. Why?
What I found, is that I acted differently when I didn't take those extra steps to enhance the look of that reflection in the mirror. Yes, I was recouperating from surgery ... but a few strokes of make up and a few extra minutes with my hair would have added a boost of something to my self esteem. I started acting the part of 'patient'.
Five days into my recovery, I had friends over. So I took those extra moments and made myself look healthy. And amazingly, when I took that extra effort I actually felt better as well. I started 'living up' to the reflection in the mirror (still no great shakes, but you should have seen the unadorned me ... not a pretty sight!).
Last week, I took a small step back into my babysitting world (a few of my before and after school kids). I got up every morning and 'dressed for work'. Contact lenses, make up and a bit more fussing with my hair. I was definitely feeling better every day, but I felt the correlation between the way I dressed to the way I felt.
This morning, I face the luxury of a Saturday off!! I don't have kids to babysit and I am on a sick leave from my 'Saturday job'. So I questioned how much effort to put into my looks today.
I have some bookwork to do, so I wanted to get myself into work-mode. That meant putting in my contact lenses (I can see much better with them). And once I made that step, I knew that I should put my 'best face forward'. I took the extra steps to outline my fading features so a person could find my eyes in the bland canvas of my face. I primped with my hair a bit. I dressed the part of a person who was excited about facing the day ... and now I'm prepared to live it.
I once worked in an office where the only contact we had with the public was on the telephone. Our dress code at work was still business attire. And the reasoning behind that was very much what I realized as these past days of not 'dressing the part' of a healthy person. A person's telephone voice picks up on a lot. If you are dressed business-like, you tend to carry that into your voice. When you dress the part, you tend to 'act' the part.
I have had a few friends that have faced very serious health issues. And though I am sure that each of them would have had many days that they weren't feeling their best when I saw them, they 'put their best face forward' and acted the part of a healthier feeling person.
I don't believe that those extra steps of pampering are a cure all. But I do believe that it helps a person to feel a little better about themselves (no matter what they are battling - healing, depression, exhaustion ...) when you take some time to pamper yourself in some way that makes you feel better about yourself.
I have followed Rosie O'Donnell's blog and her comments and advise to others about battling depression are always the same. "Shower, sunshine and move" ... a little bit of 'yellow' in the day (no matter what form it takes for each individual) may not be an end-all solution. But it certainly can't hurt. Feeling good inside, having a positive outlook from within makes a huge difference to how you deal with so many things.
What makes each individual 'act the part' of a happier, healthier, less stressed person is as individual as the person. To take the time for yourself to feel 'yellow' within, is a good investment.
Be good to yourself ...
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