I doubt absolutely everything. I feel incapable. I want someone to hold my hand and walk with me through the new-ness. I want to find the manual that tells me absolutely everything that I need to know to get me through this.
I need to take charge of one small piece of my life at a time.
Start small. Clean a room. Wash a window. Declutter a drawer. Pull some weeds. Find pride and excitement from accomplishing a small task. One step at a time, I must regain control of my sense of well being within my home.
Write a page a day. The book-project that I continually put on a back burner continues to haunt me. I have turned my life upside down and back again since I started this venture. It is time to put the excuses behind me and take it one page at a time. I will reach my destination if I continue to move forward. If I do nothing, nothing will get done.
Take ownership of my responsibilities at work. It is going to get worse before it gets better. I must buckle down and start believing that I can do this. Otherwise I will not only convince myself that I am incapable ... but my co-workers. I need to pull up my socks and forge onward.
I have this overwhelming sense of "I can't" going on within my head. It is paralyzing me.
This is absolutely ridiculous. I know that I can do most anything that I set out to do. So what has changed?
So I got a new job. Get over it. Learn. Grow. Expand. I want this job. I need this job. I must work to keep this job!
Home. Where did my ambition go? It is time to stop questioning and time to start doing.
"Fake it 'til you make it. Imitate confidence so that as the confidence produces success, it will generate real confidence." ~ David Brandt
For now, that is what I must do. I'll imitate confidence. I will keep going.
As long as I keep moving in a forward direction, I'll find what I'm searching for. My loss of confidence will become found once more.