I have gone through the paces. I have done what had to be done. I have showed up. I have interacted with people. Many people. But in each and every conversation or scenario, I caught myself drifting. I wasn't in the moment. I wasn't focused on the here and now. I was wandering.
So yesterday, I let myself shut down.
I did nothing more than absolutely necessary. Supper time came and went. I asked My Youngest what he felt like eating. He told me that he was craving Kraft Dinner but he didn't feel like making it. Neither did I (I know, I know - a major parent-fail-moment). I made him an offer. "If you cook it, I will wash the dishes"... and that is what we did.
Sometimes doing 'everything' feels like too much. Just break down the job and do something.
This sense of lethargy has seeped into the very core of my being. I feel overwhelmed with life and there is absolutely no reason for it. So ... I just laid in bed this morning and eventually, this is the scene that started my day:
I cannot recommend this as a sure fire way to turn a day around. But it doesn't hurt.
I am still not up to piling a whole heap of anything onto my day's to-do-list but I am going to take one forward step and leave the house to buy some milk. I am not certain if I will do much more than that ... but I will break down the 'job' and at least do one thing...
Doing something. Doing at least one thing. It is the way that we must get through some days. Do what you can do. Sometimes, that must be enough.
Today I am going to try to push harder and do more than necessary. It is something. It is a start. There is no end without a beginning. So I shall begin my day from where I left off yesterday at this very time.