Missing in Action; Present in Life

I've been missing in action here this week. I cannot even tell you exactly where I have been. Other than I have still been here, doing the same old thing but feeling like I am not really ever catching up with my writing to-do-list.

One morning, I took a pain killer at 4 a.m., and decided to give myself the gift of resting until it kicked in. I stayed in bed until the very last minute and there was no time to write that morning. Sometimes, the need for sleep must supersede all else. Sleep when you are able. You never know when you may need to call on those reserves ...

Then that day took on a life of its own. Our family has faced another loss. My cousins have lost their mother. My uncle has lost his wife and his brother within seven weeks of another. Life is fragile. Treat it with care ...

I spent the next morning sending and returning emails. I had 'writing obligations' to meet. I had a house full of children to tend all day. Life happens. Sometimes all you can do is live in the moment and trust that it will take you where you most need to be ...

I have friends in crisis. One friend just found out her dad has cancer. Another friend is living with an adult child and their lives are in turmoil because his emotional state is upset. I have other friends who are sitting quietly in the sidelines with their own challenges. We had plans to get together this upcoming weekend but I had to cancel those plans. My friends are like sisters to me. Treat your friends like family - you never know just how much they may need a sibling ...

The morning after that, I was the middle-man in a text-to-email-translation between my sisters. One texts. The other emails (she is out of the country and can't send/receive texts at the moment). I was passing messages between the two of them because I have the ability to text and email (my texting sister can also email - it is just that her grandson removed eight keys off of her computer keyboard and she has to use the little white stubs to type). When my sisters do manage to find a means of communication that does not involve me, I will miss the interaction. It has been a great form of entertainment this week. Oh, the little things. They make me smile ...

I sent off a few emails 'just because'. The words were in me and I had to do something with them. I believe it was the right thing to do because I received (almost) immediate responses. I had been scolding myself because I was not following my own advise of calling/emailing/dropping by to see someone when you are thinking of them. When I finally followed through and 'just did it', I knew it was the right thing to do. When your thoughts keep taking you to the same person and place, there is a reason ...

I look all around me and I see so many people who would give anything to have what I have. Our home is like a quiet little oasis in the storm. I look out the window and see what is happening all around us. I feel safe within the confines of our home and I do what I can do to support and walk with those who are facing their own personal storm.

We could lose it all in a millisecond. The life that we presently have. Our health. Our family. Our serenity. Our support system...

In this marvellous world of technological advancement, I can pick up the phone and call my mom (who lives five hours away) and it doesn't cost a penny. I can send off a text to my siblings and assume that it will be read almost immediately. I can email my sister who is out of the country and guess that she may read it within a 24 hour period. I can email my uncle who lives across the country and even though I know that checking in on emails is very low on his priority list, I can be assured that he will read it when he has the time and energy to do so. I can send one email to a group of people and touch a lot of people with a few words. I work from home, so I can reach out and touch people without taking a step out of my home at any time during my day.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a friend once told me that he felt so peaceful within the home that I had created with my young family. I fought hard for this peace and I strive to maintain that serene aura within our lives. It was such a compliment to hear that someone outside of my little family unit felt what I had fought so hard for.

As I watch what is happening outside of these four walls, I feel safe, serene, content and happy. I feel a little bit like a 'port in the storm' for some of the people who touch my life. And for that ... I am grateful.

And that, my friend ... is why I have been MIA this week. I have been present within my life. There is no place else I would rather be.