Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Still Charging

Okay, that long weekend didn't go as expected.

First off, I ended up with an "accidental day off". I woke up Saturday morning and went through the paces of getting ready to go to work. I was all set to walk out the door and I thought I had just better call to let my boss know I was on my way (and confirm our plans to work that day).

Can you imagine my surprise when she said, "No, it's the long weekend..." and I knew it was good that I checked to confirm the plans we made two weeks prior.

What do you do when you are all dressed up with no where to go?

First, I contacted my Second Son to see if he wanted to meet for breakfast. I should have known he would be busy with harvest. He has adopted my dad's farming ways and has rerouted his life so he can be as involved in farming as he can afford to be. You don't make plans with a farmer during harvest!

Secondly, I emailed the friend I had contacted when I was under the assumption I was headed to work. I had told her I could meet her after 5:00 so I quickly let her know I was available sooner than I thought.

We met for brunch and a stroll by the river to savor the colors of the season while there were still some leaves on the trees. The weather could not have been nicer and my only complaint is that I dressed for fall, not summer. So I was sweltering in the heat of our hot autumn day. I couldn't wait to get home so I could shed a few layers and sit under the ceiling fan.

Other than brunch and a visit with a friend, I did nothing. All day. I didn't lift the phone. I didn't send an email. I didn't write. I don't think I even thought that day. My brain took the entire day off. And it felt good.

The only trouble is that I woke up the next morning with laziness in my bones. I plopped down in front of the TV and did nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"I need this" I thought to myself as I sat down and wasted the day. "I will 'charge my batteries' so I can do impossible things (like get dressed) tomorrow."

I excel at wasting days. Thankfully my son asked if we could go thrift shop shopping so he could look for a few more pieces for the Halloween costume he is making. That one act of leaving the house and doing something I didn't feel like doing justified my day. That hard job was done. Whew.

One would think that two days of "recharging" would have had me jumping out of bed the next morning with endless energy and enthusiasm. One would be wrong.

"Just do one thing." Just one.

As one thing led to the next, I finally realized that a lot of the things I have been putting off involve brain power. I am so tired of thinking, I could cry. My body wasn't tired, my brain was. That explained a lot. The incessant need for sleep. The feeling that I could not fully "charge my battery". The feeling that I was running on half empty at all times. My brain was tired.

The best way to rest your brain is to empty it. And that is exactly what I did.

I did hard things yesterday. I emptied my brain of a handful of small things. I still have a few things left to go but if I keep taking one forward step at a time, I will make my way through this and I hope to dump this load soon.

I did as much as I could last night, so I could wake up to a clean slate this morning. I didn't have what it took to wash my hair and write to my mom so those were the tasks I woke up to this morning.

I looked at my phone. It was at 36% power and needed a boost. The iPad was close to 0% and it needed a transfusion of power. I sat down and did nothing. I could feel the power drain of doing nothing sapping the little bit of energy I had in me.

Then I showered. The magical mystical powers of soap, water and the gentle massage of water on my back was exactly what I needed.

I fought with my hair for the half hour which followed, then vacuumed up the massive amount of hair left behind (you would think losing that much hair would leave less hair on my head to fight with, but you would be wrong about that too).

I sat down, wrote Mom a letter, tended to my daycare family and now we are ready to go for a walk,

My phone and iPad are fully charged now and the mere act of doing a few more hard things this morning has me feeling back up to 94%.

I'll just keep plugging away and doing hard things and eventually I'll work my way up to 100%. Just to be drained by the high cost of living once again.

'Tis the cycle of life. Rest and recharge. Stop and reboot. Do hard things and then coast for a while. Recharging, rebooting and coasting alone don't work. You charge up better once you've been drained.

Now I must go live my day and use up some of the "power" I have gained.

Happy Tuesday to you. May you put your "super powers" to good use today!

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