Armed and Ready to Go

I am fueled with a most excellent weekend in the books and motivated by upcoming days off to make the most of the next five working days. This feels like a recipe for success.

I didn't do anything important this past weekend. The pile of paperwork I have been working on was ignored. Entirely and completely. I did vacuum the cat hair off the lids of said containers. But that is all.

My sisters showed up for a socially distant deck-visit yesterday. I don't even know what we talked about. A little bit of everything. The gift was in their presence. They were here. We were all together. And it was good.

I did not accomplish ONE extra task this past weekend. I did not even succeed at cooking ONE meal. And it's okay. The work will be done. Sooner or later.

But in the meantime, I have a busy agenda. The plan is to make the most of the next five days ahead so I can make the most of the free time which is to follow.

Motivation is something I am working on. I am disappointed in myself. I am setting a very poor example for my youngest son still living at home.

As I marvelled at my middle son's ambition, motivation and accomplishments I sighed, "I used to be more like you ..." His response was, "Where do you think I got this from? I remember ..."

I did this once. I can do it again. One hard thing at a time. Just get 'er done! 

"Six impossible things before lunch" - this is a quote that goes back to the beginning of my blog. Getting the "hard things" done and out of the way before lunch is key.

Everything I need to know, I have already written. From this point onward, perhaps I should stop writing and just start reading.

Here is a little piece of "wisdom" I wrote back when I was younger, wiser and much more motivated: 

TUESDAY, JANUARY 22, 2008

Six Impossible Things Before Lunch

I once went to a very inspirational hair dresser who was full of thought provoking ideas. She told me of a client that she had, who had the motto to do ''Six Impossible Things Before Lunch". Depending on your day, some of those things may be as small as getting out of bed, having a shower and having breakfast. But the important thing was to do ''Six Impossible Things" in the morning.

Well, as I looked at the phone calls I had to make today as well as a "sick" computer (I'm still ending up causing havoc in people's inboxes with my emails). I felt overwhelmed at the tasks before me.

I made one phone call. I told myself that it is so much easier to call in the morning. By the end of the day I'm running out of gusto and the thought of picking up the phone and dialing it feels overwhelming a lot of the time.

One phone call led to the next and the next and the next. I have set up a time and place to meet up with a few more of my aunts (and invited a cousin along for the ride as well) for my next fact-finding mission for this history book.

I felt like I could conquer the world after I did "Four Impossible Things" (four phone calls). Wow!! Getting the tough part of your day over with first thing in the morning is definitely a way to jump start your day!!! (I should really start exercising again. One more impossible thing).

After that, I was actually eager to tackle the computer problems. I contacted my the tech-support department of the antivirus program I have and ran scans in the 'safe mode' as they suggested. We'll see if that works.

I wonder what six impossible things I shall tackle tomorrow???

Do What You Can

"Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can" 

~ Arthur Ashe

Two Mondays in one week is one Monday too many.

Start where you are. 

I am sitting in a Thursday that feels like a Monday with the bonus of a weekend right around the corner. 

I will just go forward from here (what choice do I have?).

Use what you have. 

One more cup of coffee and I'll be good to go.

Do what you can.

I will do my best to get the job at hand done today so I can put it behind me for another year.

I know these words are so much deeper than this. But for today? This is enough.

Just go do what you can today. 

Yesterday

What happened to the weekends I wasted away doing a lot of nothing? I don't know if I miss them or if this whole "sense of accomplishment" thing is becoming addictive.

My original plan was to be on holidays this week. My hope was to have all the house/yard exterior maintenance complete so I could simply sit back and admire where things are at.

I had visions of the house and garage exteriors being taken care of, sitting back and seeing nothing but the unstained deck and dead grass. Well, Mother Nature did her part and the grass is holding its own. So I kept up my end of the bargain and did my part too.

The deck (I decided a second coat was required) is done. Again.

I picked up some deck revival product to prepare the fence boards for staining. I decided to try out the product on a weathered eleven year old bench we have. I should have taken a before picture. But I didn't. Here is the "after" shot. It looks brand new again: 

Fueled with enthusiasm from this successful project, I decided the gate and small fenced area by the back door would be a manageable task. Here is a before/after picture of what this product can do. The dark grey section between the gate and the rest of the fence is what the entire area looked like before:

Here is the completed job outside the yard. Ready, waiting and thirsty for a coat of stain:

I came in at the end of a long day outside, made supper, had a shower and vacuumed cat hair. There was a time (perhaps last month) when a day like this would most definitely be an excuse not to cook. What is happening to me?!?

If only I was on holidays this morning, I could simply sit back and admire the efforts of a rather productive long weekend. Holidays? I am so ready for you. Maybe next weekend.

Empowered After One Cup of Coffee!

I was pretty slow on the draw this morning. I didn't get moving as early as I normally do. The first thing I did was throw in a load of laundry, "I shouldn't have waited until today ..." I silently admonished myself. No one made the choice to procrastinate but me. I took ownership of what I had done to myself and carried on with the morning.

I didn't have time to dawdle this morning. I had my morning smoothie, a cup of coffee and I started moving. "The painters could arrive today ... I must be dressed, up and about. I'll have a second leisurely cup of coffee later," I promised myself.

I seem to be moving in slow motion these days. As I watch our five year old cat amble slowly through his days, I see "me". I've slowed down. I amble a lot. At one time, I sprinted from the car to the house; the house to the garbage; from "A" to "B". Because I was always in a hurry? Because I was late? Because I could? Now ... I amble.

I used to be more agile. Doing "squats" when I exercised was no problem. Up. Down. Up. Down. Side to side and all around. I felt capable of whatever my exercise DVD instructed me to do. Now ... getting up from a squatting position after picking a weed? I can do it. But I'm not sixteen anymore. I'm not even 46. I'm not going to say what age I most likely look, but add twenty years to my existing age and you have an idea.

One thing led to the next, the next and the next. Laundry. Weeds - four ice cream buckets of weeds. Then came the vacuuming. The next thing I knew, it was 1:30 in the afternoon. The day is a hot one. I forfeited my second cup of coffee for a few glasses of lemonade instead.

At last, I was rewarded with a thoroughly refreshing shower. Washing (and taming) my hair never felt so good.

After a completely wasted weekend, I put in a good day's work today. And all it took was one cup of coffee.

P.S. It is amazing what our painters have done today! Things are shaping up fast. And it is all starting to come together. I noticed a cup of coffee on the doorstep - I'm not the only one who was empowered by a cup of coffee today.

Committed

Deep breath in ... hold ... exhale. I can do it. I can commit to and enjoy the weekend which is mapped out ahead of me.

This was supposedly a long weekend but when it became a rather committed one, I offered to work on Saturday to make up for my inability to work today.

The plans include: driving my son to school on two of those mornings "off"; choosing a paint color for our house's exterior; a country drive and short road trip to visit family; meeting up with a long lost friend for coffee; work; another short drive to see a play; supper guests; an appointment.

Working in time for vacuuming, washing my hair, preparing a meal and mowing the lawn will have to happen.

I look at the commitments I have made and panic. I know I will look back and reflect on "all of the above" and will hear the echo of laughter, fun, excellent company and good memories. Some people look forward to these kinds of weekends. I can be that person. I can.

There is not one thing on my commitment list which is not something I have initiated myself with the knowledge that it will be fun and memorable. Perhaps with the exception of "work" but even that feels different - volunteering to do it and knowing I don't have to go anywhere afterwards. I get to come straight home! A day of work which ends before supper is a gift.

Deep breath in ... hold ... exhale slowly. This is going to be fun. It is! I shall enjoy every moment as it unfolds. I shall.

Happy weekend, to all. May your days ahead be exactly what you need them to be.

Here We Go Again

The name of Cher's current tour (the one after her final, final tour) seems to describe the way I feel as a new week dawns.

Here I go again. Back into the same old, same old routine of doing the same old thing and hoping something changes. Yes, I believe it has been said that is the definition of insanity. Need I say more?

That said, I feel much lighter going into this week after clearing the deck of many "impossible things" yesterday, with the assistance of my son.

Not only did he mow the grass for me (all I had to do was buy the gas for the lawnmower and get the lawnmower started), but when I came home last night he told me he was going through the contents of his room in the hope of selling off unused items he has been holding onto.

My son is a university student with limited means. I am a home owner with excess belongings in the basement. We mixed those two facts together and came up with a perfect solution. If he could sell any of our unused household items, he can keep the cash. It is a win-win situation!

Lightening the load is sometimes as easy as cleaning off the counter tops and clearing out the excess. Mowing the lawn is a bonus (it is heavenly to come home to a well tended yard).

Off to work I go. Heading back into a new week and hoping the load feels lighter all around. Tending to "impossible things" at home is bound to affect how I head into this week.

Here I go again. Same old, same old but hoping for better results.

Mondays

I have the luxury of having Mondays off from one of my jobs which allows me to start my work week at 4:00 p.m. on Monday verses 9:30 a.m. Let me tell you, that bonus 6.5 hours is a gift like no other.

Mondays off are not set in stone. My boss is very flexible when I need to take a day off or shift a work day so I do my best to work when she needs me. As a rule, we can make Monday off a reality.

I am just easing into my final hour of my weekend and revelling in a Monday I have most thoroughly enjoyed.

My best weekends are when I park my car Friday night and it doesn't move until I go to work on Monday. I can stay home and waste time like nobody's business. Quiet time + a little puttering + cooking a meal (maybe two) + an ample dose of Netflix + unexpected company and/or phone calls = Perfection

Life has felt somewhat hectic this past short while. My son's play instigated a flurry of company, late hours, extra-curricular conversation and activity which has wiped my energy levels dry. My work week is highly interactive and I recharge my batteries by going home and being silent. I have been talking far too much lately.

My boss and I discussed our upcoming work week on my last day of work last week. Our plan was for me to work today. The very idea of going into work this morning brought me to my knees. So last night, I called and asked if I could work Tuesday through Thursday instead. She agreed.

I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I revelled in the last of my conscious hours last night and enjoyed sleeping in this morning, with both cats at my side. I had a leisurely morning and then I did the hardest of things. I left the house.

I have accomplished more in the last four hours, than I have all weekend. A few ready-to-eat meals have been prepared, the lawn is mowed (all I had to do was buy gas for the lawnmower and my son took care of the rest), a broken picture frame has been replaced, the tail end of one hand lotion has been emptied into another, my sister's amended tax form is done and ready to be sent off ... none of these tasks were big. But they just seemed to pile up on me and felt hard.

Energy begets energy. Doing one thing spurs on the energy to do the next. And so on and so forth. I know I feel better when I am on top of the chore list within my little world. Today? I feel like I'm back on top of things again.

Mondays off are one of my most favorite things. I think I'm ready for the week now. 

Setting Intentions

Yesterday morning, I accidentally set my intentions for a day I didn't believe was going to unfold. Little did I know at the time, my day followed a completely different course than I expected. Was it because I wrote out my wish list for a "life of ease" I hope to attain one day? Or was it simply the luck of the draw?

I knew I had some dirty work to do first thing in the morning so I climbed into clothes that were one step away from being in the laundry hamper. I dressed for the task and did more than I expected to do. Was it because I was dressed for the job? Or did life just happen to work out that way?

I was motivated and excited to have accomplished more than I expected and I silently wished for a few more hours to follow the momentum of the morning. The phone rang and I was told I didn't have to go into work. Devine intervention? Or just plain luck?

I didn't set any records and accomplish any great feats. I simply took one forward step at a time, crossed a few more tasks of my mental to-do-list and eventually sat down with a late morning breakfast and one final cup of coffee.

Sitting down broke my momentum but it didn't stop my thoughts. I checked out names, numbers and prices for the outside maintenance which must be done this year. I didn't let any moss grow beneath these intentions and immediately started calling and inquiring. I had my first estimate a few hours later; second one is coming tonight; and a third is scheduled for tomorrow morning.

I vacuumed invisible dirt and not quite as invisible cat hair with the excess time and energy I had on my hands. After three consecutive days of vacuuming and wet mopping the laminate flooring, I can finally walk throughout the house and not end up with socks that look like cat hair slippers on the bottom.

I sent out a brief email, I scribbled notes along my way, I found myself following the outline of the "Life of Ease" I had written about as yesterday dawned. In short, my goals are:

1. Tame a wild rabbit or two
2. Register for some university courses
3. Set out and discover places within our fair city to simply sit back and watch nature unfold before my eyes
4. Explore our province
5. Set small goals each day
6. Read
7. Turn off all electronics, televisions and phones for a set time frame every day
8. Search for ways to keep connected to the people within my world
9. Take notes along the way so I will remember to write about the small stuff

I wrote these points at 8 a.m. By 9:00, I had received the call telling me I had the day off. By 11:30 I was lining up estimates. I had put in a good day's worth of accomplishments before noon. I had done "Six Impossible Things Before Lunch". 

Setting intentions is key. Morning is where it is at for me. How my day begins sets the tone for the hours that follow. 

It feels good to wake up to the morning sun beaming in my bedroom window. I need to get in the habit of setting those intentions before my feet hit the ground in the morning. Or better yet, I could follow Mom's example and go to sleep mapping out a plan for the next day. 

"Yes, Mom. I hear you. I will try to follow the example you have set."

Honestly?!? It's Only Thursday?

I've done all the hard things:

1. I woke up
2. I got out of bed
3. I cleaned cat litter
4. I changed cat water
5. I threw a load of clothes in the washer
6. I made lunch
7. I made and drank my morning smoothie
8. I threw that load of clothes in the dryer
9. I changed the furnace filter
10. I had a bath and got dressed
11. I started the car

There. I've done 11 impossible things before lunch. Can it be Friday Saturday now??

The Hardest Part of the Day (is waking up)

As I gear myself up for another long day out of the house, I am sitting here reminding myself that the hardest part of the day is where I am sitting still (or lying in bed) and not doing anything about it (or convincing myself to put my feet on the floor and start the process of living a day).

Being idle and in a state of inertia is one of the worst places to be.

As I sit here and stew about this place in my day, I have decided to focus on the little things which bring the greatest joy to my day:

My morning coffee. It is less about the taste and more about the sensation that I am still, in the moment and treating myself to my morning ritual.

Arriving at work and completing the first hard task of the day. The first task is the hardest, so once it is overcome the rest of the day feels like a bit of a celebration.

Finding joy in the smallest of things. Running into someone in the hallway and exchanging a few words which result in their eyes lighting up and twinkling a little bit.

Making memories and getting to know someone I already know, a little bit better. I love the moment when I find out something new about someone I know well.

An email of a personal nature. I've all but given up on snail mail (but will never stop hoping for some). Text messages are okay but nothing (but an actual, physical card or letter) beats opening up and finding a personal email of a conversational nature.

Sitting in a car wash and knowing I can sit behind the wheel of my car, hands free, eyes off the road and those two and a half minutes are mine. All mine! The freedom I feel when locked in that momentary cone of solitude? There is nothing quite like it.

Sitting down on the couch at the end of my day, teeth brushed and everything is cleared away so the next item on my agenda is going to bed. My hand goes to my mouth and I throw away a kiss. Mwah!!😘 Le piece de resistance! THE ultimate best part of my day...

Hmmm...

The hardest part of my day is getting out of bed. The best part of my day is savoring the moments before I crawl back into it. With sitting alone in a car wash, free to move my eyes and hands away from the steering wheel of my car a close second.

Something is wrong with this picture. Or else I am simply very easy to please. It's one or the other. Or maybe a little of both.

I must step away from the computer and do all the hard things that must be done before I leave my oasis for the day.

I will count the small blessings I find within this day and report back. I have found a mini-notepad to place within my mini-purse. I will focus on all the goodness that comes from my stressful day away from home.

Doing the Hard Things

Each Sunday night, I glance at the week ahead and make a mental note of all the "hard things" I have to confront in the week that follows. My Monday morning mantra consists of something like "Only five more days...". I don't follow that thought with the actual words "until the weekend" but it is how I live my life.

What a sad state of affairs for a 57 year old adult. To admit that my life has not grown past the school child's view point of counting down days until the weekend. So instead, I have slightly rerouted my thoughts to tell myself "Only three hard things..." to do before I get to coast within a hard work week. Which is NOT hard. It's just me. I know this.

Yesterday was a big one.

Washing my hair, a doctor's appointment, working off-site and mentoring another bookkeeper type person through the books that have been taken off of our plate and put onto hers, which was followed by the need to buy groceries on my way home at the end of my work day.

I left the house around 8:30 a.m. and got home sometime in and around 8:30 p.m.

I felt a little bit like a wet dish rag at times but mostly I felt a little bit invigorated as I mentally stroked each one of these "hard things" off of my to-do list. Taking on the day one hard task at a time, I found myself inching my way out of the doldrums I have been resting in this past long while.

One hard thing at a time.

My definition of "hard things" has changed. Hard things are things like:

• getting out of bed
• making my lunch
• tending to cat chores
• taking out garbage/recycling
• brushing my teeth
• tossing a load of laundry into the washing machine

I am happy to say I have added a few extra hard things onto my list and so far (four days in) I'm taking on one or two more hard things per day. 

• exercising
• vacuuming before I exercise so I don't come out of the experience spitting cat hair
• writing

Yes, writing has become hard. I hope to resume my previous habit of writing each and every day. Even if it is only a little. A small habit, repeated becomes a better life (as long as the habit is a positive one).

I need to incorporate cleaning into this new positive habit forming lifestyle I am trying to rebuild. But hey! Rome wasn't built in a day.

This morning, my additional "hard thing" to do, was to clean the bathtub. I was a tiny bit certain that a bad run of bathtub cleaning products that I didn't like was the beginning of the end of having a clean tub. A bad spray nozzle. A foul smelling product. The inability to empty three almost empty bathroom cleaners. The repetitive nature of the job. Cleaning a tub is a little like making a bed. Why bother? It's just going to get used again.

But after acting on an impulse to purchase the bathroom cleaner my aunt's housekeeper specifically requested, I finally (six months later?!) bought this lovely product:

With this (even lovelier) feature:

It sat unused in the bathroom cupboard for a few weeks before I took it on its maiden voyage this morning. And the job didn't hurt a bit. If I still like it after the can is empty, I may add one more positive new thing to my new, renovated life. 

Does anyone out there have any tips, tricks or products that alleviates some of the pain of housecleaning? If so, please let me know. I need all the help I can get.

One hard thing at a time. I may be able to find who I used to be in here somewhere.

Impossible Things

Getting out of bed in the morning is getting harder with each passing day. Leaving the house became so hard yesterday, I stayed home.

I went to bed last night knowing I could not play hooky another day. I had to leave the house. Early. But I had so much to do. It was going to be sooooooo hard.

Six impossible things to do before breakfast:

1. Snow to shovel
2. Hair to wash ...
3. ... resulting in a bathroom to vacuum ...
4. ... so why not vacuum the rest of the house while I'm at it
5. Lunch to make
6. Recycling and garbage to go out

I did it. I did it all. I sat down with my coffee and morning smoothie knowing the hardest part of the day was behind me.

All I have left to do is:

     7. Leave the house

Life is hard. I don't think I like December. It seems to me last December felt much the same. No wonder people go south for the winter.

But then again, I'd have to leave the house. 

One Step at a Time

Thought for the day, compliments of ProjectHappiness.com

#MondayMotivation: You don't have to take this day all at once, but rather, one step, one breath, one moment at a time... "Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take a step." ~Naeem Callaway

I cannot honestly think of a time in my life when I have been this thoroughly unmotivated. It is one thing to have a relatively short spell of time when I have felt like I have lost my way. But this has been going on far too long.

I know the action must come from me. From within. I think I must return to a mantra that has propelled me in a forward direction in the past: "Six impossible things before lunch".

Back in my daycare days, I tried to squeeze in all of my "impossible things" before my young families started walking through the door at 7:30 each morning. I had to get up at 5 or 5:30 a.m. to accomplish all I wanted to do.

It wasn't easy but I believe it was the key to successfully dealing with those hectic days. I had carved out time for what was important to me. I did more with those two hours each morning than I have accomplished this entire past weekend (or two).

My world has been becoming smaller and smaller. I am retreating within myself more and more. I am reaching out less. My energy levels are nil. My ambition levels are non-existent. I have forgotten the definition of "motivation".

I have stopped sitting in the sun. I don't even want to come upstairs. I have retreated to my little oasis in my bedroom (that has the feeling of a hotel suite) and I feel content and safe. I don't want to come out.

I tried coming up for breath one day this weekend. I got up, I got dressed, I acted like I was expecting company and was pleased that I wouldn't be embarrassed if someone dropped by. I listened to a few podcasts on the computer. I read a little. Nothing resonated with me. Nothing spurred me into a state of positivity.

Content that I had at least made the effort, I happily returned to my little oasis and continued my "Scandal" marathon. I am happy to report that I am well into the fifth season. Only 1-3/4 more seasons to go and I can consider that job complete.

I believe that television is a thief of joy. I can wrap myself up and around a TV series and lose myself in a way that an addict must feel when they succumb to that which numbs them. Add a few boxes of chips, several chocolate bars and some diet Coke (I have been craving diet Coke lately - yet one more addiction to add to the list) and you have my weekend.

I showered. I cleaned the cat litter. Twice. That is it. That is all I accomplished with two full days at my disposal.

It is time to face the week ahead of me. I will take it one small step at a time and hope to come out of it in a better frame of mind than when it all began..

17 Ways to Build My Courage

I am six days into my "building courage" project. I wrote down a list of what I hope to achieve and I have left it in my line of sight every day since. It is a list of "small stuff" that seems to be making an impact. Amazing how every little bit helps ...

I wrote a little blog about it over at MyKawartha.com today. Come join me to hear the long version of this little story: http://www.mykawartha.com/blogs/post/6514439-17-ways-to-build-my-courage/

The Power of an Hour (alternate title: "One Week Early")

I have a little white board on the side of our fridge where I write down "up and coming events". My out-of-house excursion list is akin to a to-do list. Each and every time I clear off one of my must-go places, I do a quiet hurrah inside of my head and feel lighter as the board becomes emptier. I love when that little board is empty (which is never).

The must-go items on my agenda seem to pile up on me. The last time I had a new batch of places to go and things to do, the dates piled up in very close succession. "Blood donation; fund raiser outing; candle party" on Wednesday, Friday and Monday.

Three items I couldn't wait to rub off that board. Wednesday, Friday and Monday. That was a lot of places to go in a very short time period but I could do it. Wednesday, Friday, Monday. Then my board would be clean.

After last week's exhaustion level hit a peak I couldn't wait for Monday to be over with so I could relax. I even considered backing out of Monday's obligation due to my state of feeling overwhelmed. But it was one LAST day. I could do it.

I did hard things on Monday. I scooped the dead mice out of our window wells before my daycare day began. It was a two minute job but I hadn't managed to get it done. I did not want to draw attention to the fact there were mice in our window wells when my daycare family was watching me. Nor did I want to draw attention to the fact that I was "playing" in the window wells while the kids were around This is one thing they have not discovered on their own and I was not about to lead the way. My daycare days end and so do I. Thus, the dead mice kept falling to the forget file in my mind. Tending to that ugly little task felt like I had climbed to a new plateau. I was ready to tackle the day.

The day was ... a Monday. I will say no more but I just thought about six paragraphs during that "...". I could not wait for Monday to be over.

The kids left, I had to run over to my neighbors to get their okay to trim back their tree which hangs over and sheds into our playground (another task I had been procrastinating over for the past few weeks). The weight on my shoulders was getting lighter by the moment.

I had frozen hamburger in the fridge and planned to make spaghetti for supper. As my Monday progressed, I looked at that frozen hamburger and thought "You will keep another day! I need a brainless meal tonight", but after tackling two hard things at the beginning and end of that very day, I had the stamina to thaw out the hamburger and tackle making spaghetti for supper.

I had to be out of the house by 6:40. I had one hour and ten minutes to do all I needed to do. I got much done. Not only did I make enough spaghetti for supper, but I made a spaghetti and meat sauce casserole for lunch the next day. I was really on a roll. I thoroughly impressed myself. "I CAN do hard things. I can!!"

I raced out the door at almost 6:45. I had left my departure time too late. I was going to be late. In fact, I had to wait one minute for a train to pass and I was one minute late when I drove up to my destination.

There were no other cars around. This was a "candle party". Where were the other guests? Oh no!! I bet the party was at my friend's daughter's home, not here! I was at the wrong place!!

I rang the doorbell anyway, thinking I could get further instructions from my friend's husband and carry on my way. When my friend opened the door, she greeted me with, "Colleen! What a nice surprise!!" Surprise?? I thought I was supposed to be there. I confessed that I was a minute late but she advised me that I was a week early. Oh.

I was one week, minus a minute, early for that "very important date". I was so anxious to wipe off my white board, I arrived ONE WEEK early.

I was deflated. I could have been at home, settled in for the night and watching "Dancing With the Stars". Instead, I was a confused surprise guest at my friend's home.

She invited me in and we had a very good visit. A visit we would not and could not have had a week later when her house was full and she was hosting her daughter's candle party. Sometimes the best visits are the most unexpected ones.

I'm not very good at showing up when people invite me over. So I was really out of my league to show up completely unexpected. I'm not sure who was more surprised. Me or my friend. But the things I got done in that hour and fifteen minutes before I raced out the door, were more than I accomplish throughout the week most of the time.

I CAN do hard things! I CAN!! I just need to fool myself into believing I have only an hour to get them done.

Give me a week and I will take two. Give me an hour and I can get things done. Perhaps that is the secret to getting those hard things done. Set a timer and quit when the hour is up. I like racing. I hate when I think a task will take all night or an entire afternoon.

My white board is blissfully empty until "a week from Monday". I wonder. What will I accomplish between "now" and "then"? Will I wait until that magical hour before I have to race out that door next Monday? Or will I convince myself that I only have an hour to get more hard things done?

One hour at a time, hard things could get done. Just one hour. The secret is to follow through on that idea. For just one hour.

Little Things - A Painting Story

Our new living room blinds finally arrived and were installed first thing Monday morning. I was rather relieved at their delay because I hadn't gotten around to painting the moulding around our new windows. I knew I needed the nudge the arrival of our blinds would provide and I was grateful their installation date fell on a Monday. That meant I had all weekend to paint the new window casing.

It is a good thing I had all weekend because that is exactly how long it took.

I had to work on Saturday and then I received a last minute invitation to go to my son's for supper after work. I left the house at 9:00 a.m. and didn't get home until 10:30 p.m. For a person who loves nothing more than being at home, it was an exhausting day. 

I was elated to wake up Sunday morning, knowing I could stay home and revel in the day. Then I remembered the dreaded painting job that had to get done. That could wait. I had "Part II and III" of my "III Part Cat Series" of posts to work on. I immersed myself in cat pictures and videos and lost the entire morning.

I poked my head out of my "writing room" (boy! I love having a laptop because I can move it into whatever room is most conducive to writing at the time) and discovered more than half the day was gone. I still hadn't picked up a paint brush. I almost felt queasy thinking of it. I think I am allergic to painting. No, not paint, the noun. Painting, the verb. What else could explain the physical deterioration of my soul as I considered the idea of picking up a paint brush?

Finally, I could hold off no longer. My oldest son was going to drop by. He said he would come in an hour to an hour and a half. Eureka! The race was on. I would paint until my son arrived. I had a reason to start the job. And more importantly, I had a valid excuse to stop. 

So I painted. I don't like painting when you can barely see the difference in the "before" and "after". The sun was shining in my eyes, so I used my paint cloth to block the sun while I painted a board that looked no different after I was done. Assuming I missed half of what needed to be painted, I went around the new window moulding twice. Where was my son? Shouldn't he be here by now??

Well, I had no excuse to stop, so I kept on going. I started painting the baseboards that were revealed because furniture had been pulled away from the walls. I could paint behind the furniture, put the furniture back and paint the rest later. Ya, right. I kind of knew that wouldn't work, but I honestly did start painting the baseboards "thinking small". Just in case my son arrived shortly thereafter.

He didn't arrive, so I kept painting. Amazingly (after I dipped the tail of my sweater into the paint can and immediately scrubbed it out), the job went fairly well. And it looks even better than that. I couldn't believe I painted an entire wall of baseboard, plus a small nook and my son still hadn't arrived. I checked my phone to find the message, "I'm not gonna have time to make it over today. Sorry."

That message ended my painting for the day. Perhaps, for the year. 

I finished my painting, moved the furniture back against the wall and appreciated the look of the spruced up baseboards. Unlike my brand new window casing, there was a vast difference in the "before" and "after" look. I should keep on painting! Ya, right.

The next morning, our new window blinds were installed but I didn't have time to sit and admire them during my daycare day. But when Mom called the moment my day was done, I closed the blinds, sat down on the love seat and just gazed at them like I was staring off into an ocean. They were beautiful. I was so grateful I had gone the extra mile and painted the baseboards below the window. Unchipped baseboards accessorized the new blinds beautifully. I should get back to painting as soon as I hang up the phone! Ya, right.

My new favorite place to talk on the phone, is sitting on the love seat as I gaze at our new blinds. A friend called me last night after my daycare day was done. I grabbed the phone and immediately made my way to the living room so I could marvel at our new blinds and beautifully painted baseboards. I really should just paint the entrance way baseboards at the very least. Ya, right.

The paint can is still sitting in the kitchen, just begging to be opened and utilized. It gives me such a lift to spruce up that which I already have. The paint and everything I need is all bought and paid for. All I need to provide is the time and energy to paint just a little bit more. 

Even without the TV in the living room, I seem to have ZERO energy at the end of my days. Maybe I can blame the lack of sun. At least until spring...

And because I feel as excited as a new parent, here are my blinds "baby pictures" and all the new ways we can use them (of course, there are a few cats tossed in for good measure).

New blinds - closed

New blinds - open

New blinds - daycare ready

Aren't they lovely?? And be sure to check out the baseboards. Beautiful, right?! I think I'm going to get ready for my day so I can stare at them a little while longer before my real life settles in and stays.

One (hard) Thing Leads to Another

♫ One thing leads to another ♪...

I finally crossed "one hard thing" off of my to-do list yesterday. The task of adding names to land titles has been signed, commissioned and faxed as of about 2:30 yesterday afternoon. That job is done, Over. Complete!

And do you know what I did next? Minutes after my fax transmission was sent and I received confirmation that the paperwork was received, I jumped right back in with both feet and started asking questions about the "next hard thing" on my list.

Just when you think you can't do anything, you realize you can. You really can!

And that is when you jump right back into the icky, sticky, gooey mess you just climbed out of and start all over again. This time, with a little more confidence and a lot more knowledge.

It is easier to do one hard thing after another. If life becomes too easy, we forget what we are capable of.

Still Charging

Okay, that long weekend didn't go as expected.

First off, I ended up with an "accidental day off". I woke up Saturday morning and went through the paces of getting ready to go to work. I was all set to walk out the door and I thought I had just better call to let my boss know I was on my way (and confirm our plans to work that day).

Can you imagine my surprise when she said, "No, it's the long weekend..." and I knew it was good that I checked to confirm the plans we made two weeks prior.

What do you do when you are all dressed up with no where to go?

First, I contacted my Second Son to see if he wanted to meet for breakfast. I should have known he would be busy with harvest. He has adopted my dad's farming ways and has rerouted his life so he can be as involved in farming as he can afford to be. You don't make plans with a farmer during harvest!

Secondly, I emailed the friend I had contacted when I was under the assumption I was headed to work. I had told her I could meet her after 5:00 so I quickly let her know I was available sooner than I thought.

We met for brunch and a stroll by the river to savor the colors of the season while there were still some leaves on the trees. The weather could not have been nicer and my only complaint is that I dressed for fall, not summer. So I was sweltering in the heat of our hot autumn day. I couldn't wait to get home so I could shed a few layers and sit under the ceiling fan.

Other than brunch and a visit with a friend, I did nothing. All day. I didn't lift the phone. I didn't send an email. I didn't write. I don't think I even thought that day. My brain took the entire day off. And it felt good.

The only trouble is that I woke up the next morning with laziness in my bones. I plopped down in front of the TV and did nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"I need this" I thought to myself as I sat down and wasted the day. "I will 'charge my batteries' so I can do impossible things (like get dressed) tomorrow."

I excel at wasting days. Thankfully my son asked if we could go thrift shop shopping so he could look for a few more pieces for the Halloween costume he is making. That one act of leaving the house and doing something I didn't feel like doing justified my day. That hard job was done. Whew.

One would think that two days of "recharging" would have had me jumping out of bed the next morning with endless energy and enthusiasm. One would be wrong.

"Just do one thing." Just one.

As one thing led to the next, I finally realized that a lot of the things I have been putting off involve brain power. I am so tired of thinking, I could cry. My body wasn't tired, my brain was. That explained a lot. The incessant need for sleep. The feeling that I could not fully "charge my battery". The feeling that I was running on half empty at all times. My brain was tired.

The best way to rest your brain is to empty it. And that is exactly what I did.

I did hard things yesterday. I emptied my brain of a handful of small things. I still have a few things left to go but if I keep taking one forward step at a time, I will make my way through this and I hope to dump this load soon.

I did as much as I could last night, so I could wake up to a clean slate this morning. I didn't have what it took to wash my hair and write to my mom so those were the tasks I woke up to this morning.

I looked at my phone. It was at 36% power and needed a boost. The iPad was close to 0% and it needed a transfusion of power. I sat down and did nothing. I could feel the power drain of doing nothing sapping the little bit of energy I had in me.

Then I showered. The magical mystical powers of soap, water and the gentle massage of water on my back was exactly what I needed.

I fought with my hair for the half hour which followed, then vacuumed up the massive amount of hair left behind (you would think losing that much hair would leave less hair on my head to fight with, but you would be wrong about that too).

I sat down, wrote Mom a letter, tended to my daycare family and now we are ready to go for a walk,

My phone and iPad are fully charged now and the mere act of doing a few more hard things this morning has me feeling back up to 94%.

I'll just keep plugging away and doing hard things and eventually I'll work my way up to 100%. Just to be drained by the high cost of living once again.

'Tis the cycle of life. Rest and recharge. Stop and reboot. Do hard things and then coast for a while. Recharging, rebooting and coasting alone don't work. You charge up better once you've been drained.

Now I must go live my day and use up some of the "power" I have gained.

Happy Tuesday to you. May you put your "super powers" to good use today!

Fifteen Minutes

I have been trying to follow "FlyLady's" pointers and wisdom about getting rid of the clutter and overwhelmed feeling of "I can't do it all!" and one of her mantras is to just do something for fifteen minutes. Set a timer and see how much you can accomplish. Break things down into small segments and don't allow yourself to become overwhelmed.

I seem to have the mentality of thinking that I need an entire day or weekend or holiday to accomplish "big things", when in reality all I need to do is start puttering away "fifteen minutes at a time".

I thought I didn't have enough time to stop and write this morning. Then I looked at the clock. I had fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes to write whatever fell out of my fingertips. It might be good, it might be tedious, it most likely will be a tad boring. Maybe if I'm lucky I can make myself smile with my thoughts (I amuse myself easily).

I spent the weekend thinking I had to do impossible things.

Saturday I spun in circles. It was a one step forward, two steps back kind of day. I created my own backwardness. But I sort of enjoyed it. I love a day without a firm agenda. I seem to think I need that day in a weekend, I waste a lot of my time thinking this way.

But what did I do? I set myself up for a productive Sunday. I bought the tools I needed to do the job I set out to do.

Often the mere feat of thinking I have to move a mountain in a day overwhelms me. So I only shovelled the mountain little bits of a time, convincing myself that I could stop any time I wanted to stop. I bit off only what I could chew. In the end, I ate an awful lot.

I created a self imposed deadline so I had to stop at a specific time. I failed by a half hour but I didn't want to burn the midnight oil and pay the price this morning. So I stopped at a reasonable time, then accomplished one more dirty task before I hopped into the shower.

Cleaning up after a dirty day is so rewarding. I don't even think about how much I hate dealing with the whole "fixing my hair" thing when my shower becomes my reward for a day well spent.

I didn't incorporate the "fifteen minute mentality" into my Sunday. But I didn't overdo either. I took an ugly job (painting baseboards and door jams) and just did it. Now if I can just push through the week and take fifteen minutes at a time to "clear a hot spot" and just chisel away at the mountain, maybe that will energize me enough to think a one day weekend is too short to waste doing nothing.

My fifteen minutes are up. Now that wasn't so hard, was it?

A Broken Microwave, A Fire Alarm and a Power Outage

Did you ever have the oddest sequence of events take you to exactly where you needed to be, but wouldn't have gone there on your own? Me too!

Our microwave has been smelling like the makings of an electrical fire every time I have forgotten not to use it the past few weeks. Last night I had some decent leftovers for my son to warm up for supper. Only no microwave.

Darn!! I had to go out and replace our microwave. Either that or cook! Blech to both, but buying a microwave seemed like a longer term investment so I opted for that.

I didn't want to go to the store where I bought our first dud microwave, so I went to the next closest.

I walked into the store and people were everywhere. I wondered why and then deduced that "June 1st" payday may have something to do with the unruly mob.

I needed some bananas while I was there and after I walked by some bad looking strawberries I found some bananas that didn't look any better.

I was just about to get grumpy about the crowd, the unsavory looking fruit and the fact that I didn't want to be there when the fire alarm went off.

"Everybody out of the building" said one store clerk.

Why didn't I think of that before? Why did it take a fire alarm to make me realize I had the choice to leave the building?? I honestly wonder where my head is at some days.

I ended up at a preferable store, buying a preferred brand of microwave (one that had not let me down in the past), with the ability to pick up some groceries and milk while I was out.

The benefit of needing a microwave before my son's supper could be warmed up, is that he had time to mow the lawn before I returned home with the food warmer upper.

I was finally ready to sit still in front of the TV and waste the remainder of the evening. I deserved it. I had mowed my half of the lawn, gone shopping, showered and put in a full daycare day. I was done and ready to call it a day.

Then the power went out.

I love my new laptop computer!! The power went out but my computer kept on going, powered by its back-up battery source.

The internet was down due to the power outage but I had a bookkeeping job to do that had nothing to do with the internet and everything to do with sitting down and getting at it.

The gift of a one hour power outage, combined with fifteen minutes to finish up the job and send it on its way once the power and internet were restored was just what I needed.

I would have made that job bigger than it needed to be if I had put it off another day. Thank goodness for that powerless hour. Double gratitude goes to my computer that just kept on going. With or without a power source.

The gift of a fire alarm removed me from a store I didn't want to be in, in the first place. It redirected me to a place where I could do a little one-stop-shopping and not have to leave the house for the rest of the week.

The gift of a broken microwave forced me out of the house when that was the last place in the world I wanted to be.

Three "gifts" put me exactly where I needed to be last night. I did the hard stuff. All I had to do was wake up this morning, without the weight of what I should have and could have done last night.

The hard work is done. Now all I have to do is keep taking one small step in front of the other and the next hard things won't feel so bad.