Music to My Ears

The inclination to turn on the TV and lose yet another day loomed heavy over me yesterday morning. I overruled what I most wanted to do and turned on the radio instead. 

Radio. An assortment of music I had no control over. Music that spanned over the years and subconsciously took me back to moments in time long forgotten. I even found myself singing a little bit.

I thought thoughts I hadn't thought for a very long time. Wistful little memories I could barely hold onto. Thoughts of someone I hadn't spoken to for a very long time. 

I puttered in the kitchen doing baking/cooking/prepping kinds of things for hours on end. I had no burning desire to leave the kitchen because the other items on my perpetual to-do-list were less intriguing. 

Music kept me motivated, kept my spirits light and breezy. I didn't dance. But I did sing. It's a step in the right direction.

My future self will be very pleased:

Treats, sweets, meals and veggies prepped to make life simpler.

And it didn't hurt a bit.

Lost Days

I wasted a day. Though I could pinpoint a handful of meaningful things I did with the day yesterday, I allowed most of the day to slip through my fingertips like water. 

I woke up this morning to find the door unlocked and the dehumidifier running in the basement. On one hand, I didn't have any unexpected company drop in and the basement isn't as humid as I thought it was as the water did not reach the maximum shut-off level. On the other hand, where was my head?

The luxury of my Daybed Room with a TV, canister of chips and ready access to everything I need is I can wander upstairs and not bother coming back downstairs to lock up at the end of the day.

My new ROKU TV has a Little House on the Prairie channel. It runs absolutely nothing by Little House, 24/7.  That series takes me back to a simpler time - both the time period it depicts, the age I was when it first aired and a time when I watched reruns before I went to work. It is a show that simply lowers ones stress levels, blood pressure and (unfortunately) ambition levels.

I have this niggling thought in the back of my mind that I could/should/may end up working more than four days a week. Between summer holidays, changes at work and what is best for the office, I am almost certain I could work five days a week while I long for a three day work week.

The thought of giving up that bonus day contributed to my state of mind yesterday. Mostly? I blame the TV. Days when I turn on the TV first thing in the morning usually end up being lost days.

This weekend? If I do nothing more than keep the TV off until after supper it will be enough.

Thoughtless Thursday

It is almost 11:00 am on my most treasured day of the week. A weekday I get to stay home. What in the world have I done with my time so far?

I have not a lot to show for my day. Yet. I have played around with my financial spreadsheet and analyzed my spending, past and future. I have made a call to Revenue Canada to confirm a few things. I have caught up on Sullivan's Crossing and eaten the better part of a bag of chips.

Where does one go from here?

I was hoping for a semi-productive puttering kind of day. I would like to lose myself to fine tuning the "stuff" within my Daybed Room. I'd like to declutter the basement. I may pull some weeds.

Words feel sparse, ambition even less so. Thoughts of where things will go from here waft lightly through my head. 

Oh, Thursday, where have you gone. And where are you going? I may just fall down a few rabbit holes...

How To Make Hummingbird ENDLESS Water Fountain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHd_9D_6x6o&ab_channel=RobbieandGaryGardeningEasy

Memory Games

Hand writing three, 8 1/2" x 11" morning pages on a daily basis has been an interesting exercise in exorcising my morning meanderings.

I have written almost 400 pages and my desire to go back and reread any of them is nil. The most I may do before I shred them is scan the margins to see how many of the tasks I've written down have been left unattended.

One purpose of these pages is to reveal one's inner creative self. I think I may have used up my creativity years ago, as my pages haven't revealed much beyond the fact that I find my thoughts pretty tedious and boring.

Recently, when the words aren't coming, I have been trying to recall events of my life. Years, dates, events and so on. This morning's thoughts began with wondering how much I remember before I started blogging.

I started listing the people I worked with when I moved here in 1988, names of a group of co-workers from 1990. Then, the sequence of events one life altering day in 2023. Recalling one event led to another, another and another. I used no resource other than my own head, assisted with the ability to write things down as I recalled them. 

These are the games Mom used to play. Testing her memory without assistance of any kind. If she couldn't sleep, she would think of poems from her childhood and a myriad of things to hone her memory skills. I am convinced this mental gymnastics contributed to her sharp thinking and overall brain health. Her memory, combined with her curiosity and desire to learn are tools I think are good for all of us.

As I came up with memories I thought I had forgotten, I even made a comment to Mom in my morning pages. I thought she may be pleased I was taking a page from her book.

Now, I have to hone the skill of hanging onto those memories without writing them down. Mental math is a skill I've lost. 

I'll keep playing my memory games and hope for the best. 

A Guest Room I Don't Want to Share

They say you should sleep in your guest room to ensure it is comfortable and your guests have what they need to enjoy their stay. Well? I've gone a step beyond that.

Even before "my room" was my bedroom, I commented it was the perfect guest room. It has an en-suite bathroom, queen sized bed and the room is cozy and a comfortable size. A guest could get up any time they wished and have everything they need to extend their time alone before needing to be social. Plus, they wouldn't have to go down the not-to-code stairs if they needed the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Let the record show I already knew my room was the best guest bedroom.

Then I moved into my room and the guest bedroom became a pet project of mine. I knew a daybed would be ideal for that room because the air register is by the wall, under the bed. And I found the daybed of my dreams:

Then the writing desk of course. I cannot say enough about my writing desk by the window but I will try.

I was searching for just the right kind of cabinet which would mostly serve the purpose of holding stationary, writing and office supplies but could double as a dresser if required. Plus, I wanted another smaller cabinet for the closet. Due to the fact this cozy little room is carpeted, I was looking for furniture on wheels. 

Closet cabinet

Then came the pièce de ré·sis·tance. The final touch.

After a great deal of thought, research and test runs, I decided a TV for this cozy little spot would be my little treat. A place to watch TV at night, when my sensitive neck cannot relax on my comfy-looking-couch in the living room. 

While the living room windows were under construction, I moved the TV up into this cozy little room and I loved, loved, loved ending my days in this most-comfortable-spot steps away from my bedroom. A little TV watching and I'm literally 12 steps from my bed. Twelve steps on the same level. Not 13 steps up, then 10 steps to the right. Twelve steps.

 

I brought home my new TV yesterday afternoon and couldn't wait to set it up. It is the perfect size, perfect fit and perfect-for-me ROKU TV with access to more channels than I'll ever need:

A small fridge and microwave and this room would have everything I need.

I have created a guest room so cozy, comfortable and ideal that I don't want to share it. I'm just glad I already proclaimed my bedroom as the ideal guest room. So I guess that makes everyone happy.

Dad

The gift of living near and visiting a sibling regularly is sharing the same core memories. It is common for us to find a thread of Mom woven throughout our conversations. We have a lot of "Mom" in us, she lived for 89 years and though it has been close to eight years since she died, thoughts and memories still feel fresh.

Dad, on the other hand, was young when we last had the dad we knew. His massive heart attack, days before his 58th birthday, was the end of Dad living his life. We had fewer years to collect Dad memories and it has been 42 years since that fateful day. 

So when a "Dad memory" arises, it touches a part of me that hasn't been touched for a while. It feels rather special.

When my son built a shed for me and I commented I couldn't wait to roll my tires into their seasonal storage spot and not have to stack them, it stopped him in his tracks for a minute. He quickly commented he'd build something for tire storage, since the walls of the aluminum shed wouldn't withstand the weight. He came up with this:

It was made completely out of leftover wood that was lying around. It cost nothing but his time. It was a very "Dad" thing of him to do. When I showed this shelving unit to my sister, she immediately commented, "This is Dad. This is something Dad would make." Yes. Yes, it was.

Cool little memory to store inside the shed along with the tires and other miscellanea.

Yesterday, I was commenting on my ability to hang a picture. Except when I looked at the back of the picture I wanted to hang, it was missing the picture wire. Two loops to string it into, but no wire. When I mentioned this to my sister, she perked up and said she had some.

She ran downstairs and came up with her picture wire storage container:

"Dad!" I exclaimed. That is Dad's, right? Yes. Yes it was. 

Dad used tobacco tins to store nuts, bolts, screws and many numbers of things in the garage. Seeing that tobacco tin was an immediate callback to my memory of Dad. No, rolling cigarettes is quite possibly the last thing he may want to be remembered by, but the tins. The resourcefulness of not letting anything go to waste. "That" was Dad.

I wistfully asked my sister if she minded leaving that tin to me in her will. Just a little thing. I loved the way I felt when suddenly I felt the memory of Dad wash through me. She said she could do one better. She ran downstairs and found its twin. Now we each have a little memory of Dad in our storage collections.

Dad. I love being reminded of you. Your essence. Your work ethic. Who you were. I love when a brand new, never-been-recently-recalled memory flashes through my mind. Most of all, I cherish having a sibling who shares that exact same memory of who you were and the ways which we still see you in your children and grandchildren.

Keeping Cool

This morning, as I stepped into the safe little cocoon that is my life, my first thoughts of the day were gratitude for our cool evenings after hot days. I haven't found the need to turn on the air conditioner yet, thanks to our cool evenings accompanied by a light breeze. I am even more grateful to know I have cool air available at the flick of a switch. Life is good.

I then wandered downstairs and checked the forecast. As I did so, my attention focused on news flashes of the forest fires raging and thousands of evacuees fleeing for safety, with the possible threat of losing their home. It put my world's view into perspective.

Our lives may feel challenging and they are. But in the big picture, when I look at my landscape I feel pretty darned lucky.

As I walk through my day and wonder if there is a practical use for (what feels like) an infinite supply of pinecones, I will remind myself of how fortunate I am to have space to wonder about such a trivial issue.

One morning of picking pinecones out of the rocks netted about 1/3 full trash can's worth of 

"mulch and pest deterrent" material.

I've said it before and I will keep saying it.

My life is good.

Powerless

This morning, the power went off unexpectedly just before 7:00 am. I was in the midst of planning to charge my phone, using up the laptop's battery power before plugging it in when the power waned and waiting for the furnace to kick in at 7:00 am, to take the chill out of the air. 

Then poof! The house was silent. Blissfully silent.

The dehumidifier I had running in the basement? Silence. The bathroom fan? Silent. Nothing. That is when I looked up to discover the clock on the stove was blank. The power was out.

Our power company sent a vague message saying they were looking into the reason behind the outage and crews were on the job, looking after the situation.

When after an hour, the power was still out, I started running through worst case scenarios. My phone could be charged in the car. If I didn't open the fridge door unnecessarily, the fridge/freezer would remain cold for as long as possible. 

Meanwhile, I was honing in on comparing a power outage to an all-out-communication outage. We have had a few recent outages that affected phones, internet, cable and cell phones. While I felt completely alone in my inability to reach out or be reached in any fashion, I uttered aloud, "At least we still have power. At least we still have power".

It was bright outside and the need for powered lighting was almost nil. Leave the bathroom door open and all is well. Water was functioning, I could have a bath, use the "facilities" and receive messages from the outside world.

All was well enough.

I opened my latest (and last) assembly-required cabinet for the closet in the Daybed Room, ensured all the parts and pieces were there and went about my day like I didn't need power.

The power was restored after an hour and a half. Just a blip in time. Life went on seamlessly without the assistance of a power source. I received a few messages from the outside world during the outage. I was not alone.

We are beyond fortunate with all of our conveniences of life. 

Paying a water bill is a privilege. We have have clean, running water and sewer system we completely take that for granted. There are many who do not have this luxury. Even within our own country.

Heat and power are two more luxuries of life we have on tap. Turn on a switch, turn up a thermostat, turn on the air conditioner, charge our various gadgets that keep us feeling connected and enjoy the ease with which we heat, cool and store our food.

Add to that, the various ways we keep our lines of communication open. Much of which is reliant on satellites and wireless connections. 

I miss the days when we all had a hard wired phone that was attached to a wall, not reliant on power or satellite connections. Yes, this could malfunction just as easily if the wire was cut. But there is something grounding in knowing there is a grounded connection.

I appreciate life's little wake up calls. There could be many, who slept right through this moment of powerlessness. Others who may have not had their morning coffee brewed before the the lights went out. 

Me? I simply wished I had charged my phone when I thought of it first thing this morning. Then began counting the many ways in which I was just plain lucky.

When one feels powerless, the best resource we have is to focus on that which we still have power over. Our thoughts, back-up plans and the mere simplicity of having most everything we need at our fingertips. 

Power or no power, I am simply thankful for that which stays the same. With or without the conveniences which make living a life pretty simple.

Thank you.

Back-up-plan #1

A functional and bright battery powered light

(including brand new batteries)

Back-up Plan #2

I'm feeling a little more in control now that I'm 88% charged

(and 21 minutes away from a full charge)

It's a Beautiful Morning!

I am waking up to a five-day work week. And I'm okay with that. I'm really okay.

The weekend past, was a re-energizing two days. There was no real agenda other than puttering. Just do one thing and see where it goes. A lightly scheduled amount of being social. Just enough to motivate me to be prepared for company. Mostly, to prepare meals for my five-day work week, with a side benefit of having food ready to serve. Just in case.

If you make it, they will come. And they did. It was good. Very good.

This is my view, as I have my morning smoothie, blog a little and do my daily puzzles:

Yesterday morning, I was entertained by a couple of robins. A named them Momma and Poppa because they were doing a little frolicking which makes me believe baby robins will follow. This morning, a mourning dove caught my eye as it strolled through yard, rummaged through some debris and flew off with a twig. I imagine it is building a nest somewhere close by.

I took time to simply sit back, watch and create little stories for my feathered friends who share the yard. I forgot to look outside, watch and listen to nature last year. This year, I am grounded enough to see and appreciate what is in my own back yard. Again. I love this little spot in my world. I savored the moments. And it was good. Very good.

Exhaustion hit me in the middle of the day, so I grabbed a book, went upstairs to my Daybed Room, nestled into the cushions on the daybed. And read. My neck was comfortable. I was very comfortable. A little too comfortable. I nodded off to sleep for a bit. It felt good. Very good.

I woke up and thought a very foreign thought (for me). "I should vacuum". And I did. Late in the afternoon, for no other reason than "I should". So I did. It was good. Very good.

Every little thing I managed to accomplish felt satisfying. No deadlines looming. Simply doing something because it would feel good to have done it.

I saw people in such an easy and natural manner. "Want to go for a walk .. then come over for bbq hotdogs?" An easy yes. I reciprocated when I mentioned I had made a pasta salad and we could have an easy lunch here the next day. I made a little extra just in case my son dropped by. And he did! It was so easy to simply open the door and enjoy his company, knowing I had a meal ready to serve at any time.

My social battery is charging up. My motivation button is starting to function better. My ability to simply look up and watch nature unfolding before me is life affirming. 

I love this time of year. Everywhere I look, I see life and new life brewing. The buds on the trees, the grass greening up.

It's a beautiful morning!

Tracking

I'm finding my reason behind the tendency to have an online shopping addiction - the ability to track your parcel online. I find this as interesting as watching the plane-tracker apps when someone you know is flying home. I love knowing where things are at. In all senses of the word.

I appreciate being told what number I am in a queue when on hold for an extended period of time.

I would love a "progress bar" showing the % complete in all aspects of life - not just when downloading a computer program. 

It gives one the illusion of having some control in an unpredicable world. 

I found a few different places online to order my favorite-top-in-my-world. I went crazy on the weekend and ordered six different colors from two different sellers. They are on their way:

My perfect world would consist of a closet full of identical clothes, with a hair style I like being frozen in time, like that of a cartoon character, with a progress bar showing where I am in the timeline of my life.

I like knowing where things are at, I like the feeling of wearing comfortable, crisp new clothes, I love responding "Same, same and same" when someone is updating my customer information. 

Little things. I like when life-as-I-know-it feels like a well worn rut that is comfortable and known. Even better? I love knowing my favorite tops will arrive by April 1st!! I have places to be and people to see on April 4th. You can bet your last dollar I will be showing up in my cartoon character's attire. Same, same, same.

Now ... if only I could find that cartoon character's hair stylist.

One Small Positive Thought

It all started with my wish for a small shelf by the back door, so if I had two cups of coffee in my hands, I didn't have to put one cup on the floor in order to open the door.

My wish came true. Then cool weather moved in and the purpose for this handy little shelf evolved into a place to set my keys. Unfortunately, the keys left black marks on the paint which were next to impossible to scrub off. I finally found a purpose for a cup of Mom's I had claimed and put aside for reasons unknown. 

I found the reason:

I really liked this splash of color in my grey-dominant home. This cup catipulted me into many hours of interweb searches for decorating touches and pictures with a splash of yellow. 

Yellow is a color that sparks joy within me. Simply searching for a splash of yellow calmed my soul and shifted my focus to "yellow" thoughts.

My wish list ebbed and flowed. I decorated my "Daybed Room" during this time. My daybed room was inspired by something completely different. More on that another day ...

I couldn't take the plunge and purchase a large picture off the internet but I did find this one. Terribly overpriced but it sparked joy and I couldn't let it go when suddenly the words "Short Supply" flashed before my eyes.

I took the plunge and invested on another splash of yellow:

I love this small picture. I love the message. That's it. That's all I have today.

May your day have a splash of yellow woven into the fabric of life-as-you-know-it.

May one small positive thought change your perception of your day.

Favorite Days

When my siblings and I last gathered, our conversation drifted towards "favorite days". 

I remember Mom blissfully commenting, "I think my favorite day is Tuesday" at a point when I was inhaling our conversations. We had a little chat around her favorite day. It was a light and easy conversation during a heavy and serious time. 

To my siblings, I replied, "Any weekday I don't have to work is my favorite day." Guess what day it is today? My favorite day!

It was dark when I started writing and it is dark as I wind this down. It was my favorite kind of day.

Proceed with Caution!

It's "Christmas" every day around here! I'm a huge fan of the delivery options that are readily available. My December deliveries have included cat food, cat litter, printer paper, printer toner/drum kit, banker boxes and I've recently stumbled upon a few free grocery delivery options. I LOVE it!

My most recent gift in the mail was a paper shredder. It was as easy as opening the box, placing the shredding apparatus upon the paper bin and plugging it in. Voila! I was shredding within minutes. I LOVE easy-to-assemble items!!

Then I noticed the long list of symbols on the top of the shredder. I figured out the "Caution" part of the hieroglyphics but it didn't go much further than that:

Okay. Stop and pause now. Do not read any further. Do your best to decipher what all of the above means.

I will distract you from looking at the answers below and write about the other challenging piece of mail that arrived.

I have recently been hired for a new job. Though I haven't worked out of the house yet, I have invested a lot of time into the process of becoming an employee. I was able to take a one-day orientation course from home and I have been completing, signing, scanning, emailing countless new employee forms. I have signed in and signed up for numerous accounts, with more to follow once I'm at my new workplace.  

I received a letter in regards to immunizations. I'm pretty sure this letter was meant to be emailed. There was no phone contact information, nor clues as to who to contact for specific information. 

I devoted a large part of the day attempting to attend to the tasks defined on this piece of paper. The next day, a revised letter (including a contact phone number) came in the mail. Much easier! Done! I felt like I had conquered my universe.

Onto the next task. Taking my car to the shop to see if they can diagnose a potential problem with a car that is presently in perfect working order.

I have learned a lesson the hard way. I have a "one click" warning when it comes to issues pertaining to starting my car. ONE warning. I turn the ignition. Nothing. So "nothing", that I assume I must not have fully turned the key. Because the next time and countless times afterwards (only countless, because I didn't count the actual number) it starts like a charm. Until it doesn't. One time it was the starter that was gone (a year ago); the second time, it was the battery (three months ago). 

I was five hours away from home when I received my "one click warning". I didn't know how many more starts I would have, so I used my finite number of car-starts frugally. I made it through the remainder of the weekend and all the way home without incident. 

My phone call to my mechanic went something like this, "I don't know if you can diagnose a problem with my car if it is working perfectly but ... ". And they did! It was a bad battery. 100% covered by warrantee! Have you EVER gone to the mechanic and received a bill for $0.00?? Best gift EVER!! 

Life was feeling pretty good. One challenging day makes one appreciate when everything in life happens in a manner that is as easy as taking the next forward step.

Back to my new paper shredder warnings. Below, are the deciphered codes:

My personal favorite? "Please keep children out of this shredder"

Life is full of warnings, cautions and subtle clues to forewarn you of the potential dangers ahead. 

Some, like keeping children out of a paper shredder, are pretty straight forward. 

Others, like a one-start-warning, we learn as we go along.

Proceed with caution. But please DO proceed.

Sleeping In Day 2

Unwilling to have a replay of events from yesterday, I immediately made my side of the bed this morning.

Jet is sleeping in. His job is to finish de-hairing the bed before he makes his half.

He is a terrible roommate. He never picks up after himself.

A Week Ago

One week ago, the snow was almost melted and it was warm enough to sit comfortably in a sun beam.

Then it snowed.

I did shovel the driveway to promote melting and things are coming along nicely.

But the most important thing is the sky.

Look at that blue sky!!

May you have a Sunny Sunday!!!

 

                                   April 17th                                    April 23rd - all that's missing is lawn chairs

Aggressive Chirping

I stepped outside to take a picture of our April snowfall and was distracted by the sound of birds:

(ensure your volume is high, to appreciate the aggressive nature of their chirps)

It seems I'm not the only one who is impatiently waiting for warmer weather.

I wish I sounded so cheerful when I grumble about the weather.

Still Charging

If humans came equipped with a power bar status on their foreheads life could be simpler. 

One look at your own power level and you would see you were only at 11% and you could grant yourself a little grace. Taking the time to recharge a little more before tackling the day could make all the difference in the world. Noting someone else's power level would help manage expectations.

Just think ... what if you were only allowed into work if you were 80% charged or more. Breaks were automatically assigned when your power dipped below 60%. If you were consistently running below a certain level, holidays were mandatory. 

Recharging stations may need to be varied depending on the circumstance. Coffee would be a short term solution. A balanced meal or healthy snack would be a longer lasting charge. Sleep and rest would replenish the charge slowly and surely. Televisions would turn off automatically once a sufficient level of recharging was reached. We could actually see how much scrolling social media sites deplete us. 

That said, a bar indicator showing how many bars of reception we have could be helpful when trying to communicate. You could read whether or not the other party was receptive to your means of communicating. One could adjust and tweek as necessary. If one party shut down, it would be as clear as the bars on their forehead. 

I must be careful what I wish for. Artificial intelligence is a concept I only understand from old cartoons but what I am dreaming of is not something I want to see come true.

In the meantime, I find myself checking on the status of my charging phone before I expect too much of myself. 

I'm only 80% - I want to start the day at 100% ...

I honestly feel about 80% today. The weekend is doing its job but I'm still replenishing my charge. I'll see you at 100%!

On the Other Side

I have made it through what I anticipated would be the hardest day of the week. One hurdle met with a gusto and I was energized on the other side. Another hurdle was easier than anticipated. Hard. But done. Done is good. The third hurdle wasn't one I was anticipating. Those are the ones that can catch us. The unexpected.

As challenging as my day felt, the key players in the other side of this story are the ones who are the heros. For me, it was a day. More specifically, it was hours. For them, it is their life.

A life they didn't ask for or expect. A life that continues to evolve and the hurdles just keep coming. The landscape keeps changing and they are losing control of a life they lived fully.

To open your eyes and wake up to a brand new day feeling like you know what you may expect is a gift. Even if what you expect isn't something that excites you, there is something to be said for even a slightly unremarkable life.

Today, I shall simply appreciate what I often take for granted.

Health - a body and brain that continues to work as expected

Home - shelter from the storms of life and everything within it (even the cat hair)

Happiness - simply content with the life I have and those who play a vital part within it

Independence - the ability to work, pay the bills and live this life as I know it

Yes, life has its moments that challenge us.

When the moment is not a lifetime, we are fortunate.

When we wish a moment we are in would last forever, we are rich.

Even within the hours I found challenging yesterday, 

I found moments that evoked a smile or small chuckle I shared with those in my company.

For that moment,

all was well in the world.

Habits

It is so easy to fall back into old habits. Some habits are worth falling back into. Others? Sometimes it would be nice to replace a habit that is no longer serving you best with something better.

I thought getting up earlier was my answer. It was. For the first week. Then I became accustomed to those bonus hours and filled them up with things that felt like work. My bonus time became my new norm and I utilized those early morning hours well enough. But not in the manner I originally intended. 

Then I slipped into another time zone for a few days and all hope was lost. I started sleeping in. Again. 

I didn't want to step into the day. I was tired. I was cranky. I didn't like the forecast of the day's responsibilities. I slipped back into my old ways.

This morning my eyes popped open at 5 a.m. Bonanza!! I had laundry I wanted to get done; a house that needs vacuuming; followed by a shower and Boom! I would be ready for the day. It is almost 8 a.m. - three hours have passed in the blink of an eye and I still haven't taken the time to be still with my thoughts and write.

I seem to be filling myself up with "words" during my quiet time lately. My five hour drive for my mini holiday was spent listening to Remembrance Day programming one way and the narration of Alex Trebek's book on my way home. My quick trips to my little oasis away from home are about one "We Can Do Hard Things" podcast long. This (in my opinion) is quality programming. But I'm absorbing other people's words and continue to avoid thinking my own thoughts.

I keep falling back into wondering "who am I?" when I don't write, don't sing and dance to my favorite songs on the radio and when I turn off the buzz of all the outside connections that interrupt the natural flow of an old fashioned day. A day when the landline was the only way someone could call. A letter in the mail was the norm for keeping in touch with friends and family who live far away. Inviting friends and family to join me in some manner which would result in a face-to-face visit.

I want to turn back the hands in time to 2008. It was a time when I pealed back the layers of life that wasn't working for me and unearthed a life I was excited to live. It was a time when I immersed myself in family, family memories, family gatherings, invited people into my home or to go on an "adventure". It was a time I felt words oozing out my fingertips and I started writing here. It was time of beginning again. Beginning again was a result of an unexpected end to the life I was expecting. Beginning again was hard. But necessary. And so many good things came from shedding old expectations, examining the life I had and realizing I already had everything I could want.  

I believe a "radio silent" weekend is in order. Turn off my cell phone. Sign out of the Internet. A weekend to read, write and putter would be time well spent. I want to spend a weekend like it is 2008 again and unearth some good old habits.

Back in the Saddle Again

I woke up to a bird choir singing outside my window and the soothing sound of a distant train whistle when my eyes popped open at 5:00 this morning. My chosen wake-up time. My favorite sounds. Ahhhh.

It has been a chaotic time for my tired brain. Bookkeeping deadlines, tending to my aunt's housekeeping/grocery/misc needs in four days instead of five, then my own household requirements (no time for groceries there), packing what I wanted to take to my weekend oasis and heading out there in time to mow the half acre of  "lawn" (I am exaggerating the square footage but that is what it feels like when I'm mowing and use the word lawn hesitantly as the grass is sparse, I over-sprayed for weeds and killed off a fair bit and our regular rains didn't water what was left of the grass so I kicked up a LOT of dust as I mowed) before the weekend began. 

I was already prepared for company but got a side order of distraction when the fridge at my little oasis quit working. High socialization requirements for the weekend were met &/or exceeded (I'm not bragging. My expectations of myself were not high). I glided through the weekend with a dysfunctional fridge in the background of my thoughts with the mantra "There is nothing I can do about it so there is no sense worrying about it" on repeat. 

Do your best. Surround yourself with siblings and their spouses. Toss in a sister to mastermind the catering (again). Add a little family reunion. Season with a drop-by-visit with a cousin new to the neighborhood. That is my personal recipe for the most perfect unperfect weekend of the year.

After the dust settled (literally, as I think of our dusty lawn), I was left alone in my little oasis. I settled in with a few troubleshooting suggestions from www.familyhandyman.com and [drum roll please] the fridge is working again. At least this morning (Dr FamilyHandyman suggests there is a problem with the defrost heater/timer/or thermostat). 

I woke up at my favorite waking time, did my stretches (I have done neither since my string of late nights began five days ago as I struggled to meet my bookkeeping deadlines then late nights became the norm thereafter) had some cold water from the presently functioning fridge and finally felt the long awaited ahhhh-some moment I have come to know and love.

As I navigated my late nights, knowing that much socialization would be on the agenda, I slept in each morning knowing there would be more late nights on the horizon. My sleep schedule was navigated with ease as the extra waking hours at night were offset by a few more sleeping hours in the morning (I'm not bragging. I am eternally grateful for my sleeping superpowers). To wake up on a Monday morning with a spring in my step and actually anticipating the return of my regularly scheduled life is a gift I did not expect as I anticipated the weekend past.

I don't wake up every Monday morning feeling this way. It is the return to my satisfying quiet little life that is key. The fact that all the looming deadlines at my day job were met last week. Waking up to a day of high expectations is an exhausting way to greet the day.

You know you are living the life you are intended to live when you wake up, after a good nights sleep, on a Monday morning AND you are grateful to hop back on that horse and be back in the saddle again.