One Small Positive Thought

It all started with my wish for a small shelf by the back door, so if I had two cups of coffee in my hands, I didn't have to put one cup on the floor in order to open the door.

My wish came true. Then cool weather moved in and the purpose for this handy little shelf evolved into a place to set my keys. Unfortunately, the keys left black marks on the paint which were next to impossible to scrub off. I finally found a purpose for a cup of Mom's I had claimed and put aside for reasons unknown. 

I found the reason:

I really liked this splash of color in my grey-dominant home. This cup catipulted me into many hours of interweb searches for decorating touches and pictures with a splash of yellow. 

Yellow is a color that sparks joy within me. Simply searching for a splash of yellow calmed my soul and shifted my focus to "yellow" thoughts.

My wish list ebbed and flowed. I decorated my "Daybed Room" during this time. My daybed room was inspired by something completely different. More on that another day ...

I couldn't take the plunge and purchase a large picture off the internet but I did find this one. Terribly overpriced but it sparked joy and I couldn't let it go when suddenly the words "Short Supply" flashed before my eyes.

I took the plunge and invested on another splash of yellow:

I love this small picture. I love the message. That's it. That's all I have today.

May your day have a splash of yellow woven into the fabric of life-as-you-know-it.

May one small positive thought change your perception of your day.

Feeling the Joy

I have felt a spark of joy within me on a regular basis lately. I felt the sensation so deep this morning, I knew I had to put it down in words so I could re-read them some day in the future.

I am eight days away from the end-date of my work-from-home-bookkeeping position I have held for four years and three months. Taking on the full time role of working from home was a little heavier than expected. I can feel my clothes becoming a little looser as the extra weight of responsibility is being lifted from my shoulders.

Oh! What a feeling!!

I have a heavy list of things-to-do-before-I'm-done but I'm energized by this. I work best under pressure. And the pressure is on. It is so close, I can taste it!

Things in my new life have been falling into place ever-so-nicely. It has a feeling like it was truly meant to be. I haven't been fighting the current as I made progress along the way. I feel like I am walking with the current of a gently flowing creek.

It hasn't always felt this way but now that I can see the end, it is good. It is right. I am so grateful I didn't give up on my dream, even though giving up was most certainly where I was at six months ago.

Little things that bring me joy are so close to the surface.

Last week, I walked into my favorite bargain store and bought absolutely nothing but chocolate bars. These chocolate bars are the only thing I am aware of, that hasn't gone up with the cost of inflation in a time where prices of some of my favorite things (Pringles, for example) have doubled. 

Budgeting used to be the best diet I could go on. Inflation has replaced budgeting in food control. I simply will not pay the new prices on some of my prior delights. 

But these chocolate bars? I was not constrained by embarrassment, humility or caring for a moment what anyone thought about what was in my shopping basket.

The clerk ran them through and I just smiled from the depths of my soul and said, "These chocolate bars simply bring me so much joy!" He smiled from a place deeper than the cashier's obligatory "have a nice day" platitude. I think my confession brought a speck of joy into that moment.

I came home and could barely contain myself. Guess what this little basket full of joy cost! $7.77 (INCLUDING taxes):

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt I was banned from buying so many chocolate bars from this store. I'd better find different stores to shop at - I don't want anything to take away the cheapest form of joy one can buy any time soon.

May you find a small piece of joy within your day. If you can, declare this joyful find out loud and share it. I do believe joy is contagious. Spread it around.

After the Storm - 2 Weeks later

Written a week ago (and abandoned) ...

A week after the storm has passed, it is looking a lot like Christmas around here. Christmas - with longer daylight hours, a warmer sun and spring not too far away.

We were fortunate my son dug us out with his skid steer. He made short work of what would have been more hours and muscle power than I can imagine. It was much of an issue as to where to put the snow, but the man-hours required to take on the job would have been monumental.

The resulting snow pile in the front yard brought back warm memories of my daycaring days, when one of my dads (whose winter work included snow clearing and removal) dumped a load of snow for the kid's entertainment. Making the most out of winter includes snow forts, snow hills, snow-people, frolicking in snow piles and simply enjoying the gifts of nature.

Rabbit tracks in the snow bring a smile to my heart every time ...

Two weeks later ...

I abandoned this post in lieu of living life quietly and letting Mother Nature deal with the excess snow.

I smiled when I spotted rabbit tracks on the mountain of snow in our front yard and was absolutely delighted when this happened:

 

Did you spot it? The rabbit hiding in plain sight??

Ahh ... the joys of rabbit-spotting. There is really nothing quite like it.

This winter station break was so much more enjoyable knowing it will all soon be gone.

But I'm glad for the moments it brought to us, right in our own front yard.

Joy Spotting

I have stepped back from writing until I could refocus and see life through a different lens. Is it a coincidence that I started spotting joy after an eye appointment yesterday? Are my new glasses helping me see everything better? Perhaps ...

I didn't get my new (replacement) specs until the end of my eye appointment, which was followed by a dentist appointment a few hours later.

After turning the ringer off on my phone, I purposely looked up. I watched and listened to my surroundings. 

The first thing I focused on was a family of three - a mom and three children. One makes a lot of assumptions when people watching and I found myself believing these three were siblings and the adult was the mom. What I saw, was three children simply being themselves. 

The oldest hovered in the toy/book area with the youngest. The youngest was captivated by the books. Putting one away before pulling out another, sitting at the child sized table and taking in all there was to see within the pages. No hurry. Simple enjoyment. The middle child sat on the mother's knee. 

Each child was content in the moment they were in. The child who appeared to need the closeness of a parent was not being forced to join the others, go play or even be any further away from comfort than they needed to be. The oldest was not engaged in an active caregiver roll. My impression was that the oldest was kind of grateful for a younger sibling which gave them the excuse to play with the toys. The youngest was content in their independence, yet secure in the knowledge they were not alone. Siblings, comfort and safety was an arm's length away.

Bliss. Pure bliss. To watch a young family simply "be" together. 

Meanwhile, other patients were checking in and I simply sat back and absorbed the light rapport and kindnesses that were volleyed back and forth between patients and receptionists. Good manners, good humor, gentle words lightly seasoned with laughter. 

It was nothing. But it was everything.

The past three years, I have ventured out of the house as little as possible. When I did leave the security of home, I was armed with a face mask, hand sanitizer and a very healthy dose of physical distance between those inhabiting the same space. Many others wore similar armor. 

We can witness people's smiles again. Children can play with toys and books in a public space. The underlying fear of exposure to a force we could not see but was evidenced all around us has abated.

As I sat back and simply inhaled the moments watching people be people, I refocused on the joy of simple pleasures. People being people. Together. 

When we isolate ourselves and our main source of information is the news and news feeds we invite into our existence, we are seeing only a very narrow vantage point of an entire panoramic view. 

When our personal lives become focused on that-which-is-out-of-our-control, it is extremely hard to find the courage to let go and let life unfold. Life is a delicate house of cards. When we think we know the forecast, we try to find a way to manage the aftermath. Even when we aren't certain of the chain of events that may or may not take us down that road.

I have become hyper-focused on far too many situations that are out of my control. When I left the house yesterday, looked up and into the world and focused on the moment I was in. It was good.

It is time to focus on joy again. 

"This" Close

I despise my writing when I'm in count-down mode. My head is all about what needs to be done, how I will do it, when I will fit it all in and how long can I put off the inevitable. I work best under pressure but creating my own pressure cooker is my own doing. I have no one to blame but myself.

I have three days to complete April's to-do-list but it is my goal to tie up all loose ends tomorrow, so I have the weekend to do as I please.

What pleases me? Oh, so much!!

I have borrowed Michelle Obama's book "The Light We Carry" from the library. I started reading it last weekend and it is my kind of story telling. Easy to read, thought provoking and a person wants to turn the page in anticipation of more of the same. I had to close the book last weekend, but I'll be back!

Add to that, the Oprah's interview with Michelle Obama newly released on Netflix. That is cued up and ready to view. All I need want to go with that is a bowl of popcorn. I can't wait!

Then I really hit the library jackpot when I woke up yesterday to find my hold for Prince Harry's audio book "Spare" was available. I started listening immediately. I love listening to Harry speak of his life in a way only he can do. I am not quite two hours in, to sixteen hours of Harry's story. I am looking forward to the quiet space required to simply ... listen.

Our weather has finally broken. Snow is melted, temperatures are starting to climb and the great outdoors is calling. I can putter, I can sit on the deck with a cup of coffee and read, I can walk without dodging snow, ice and puddles and I could probably wash a window or ten. Possibilities are endless!!

I've cooked the past few weekends so I will plan easy meals and perhaps (if the month-end-budget allows) I may even splurge on the cheapest take-out option I can find. We'll see. Easy, tasty eating is on the horizon. I love it!

I am anticipating a weekend where all I have to do is open my eyes, get out of bed and go wherever the day takes me. No deadlines to meet, simply an agenda of fun and easy. It is time to celebrate enduring meeting another month of deadlines and obligations. 

I'm "this" close ...

TGIF

Thank goodness it's Thursday

I still have ONE more day to clear the slate for an easy, breezy weekend.

What do you hope to do to make way for that which brings you joy? May you find your way to being "this close" right along with me.

Burning the Candle at One End

Quite some time ago, I felt assaulted by bright lights, loud noises and felt a deep need to mute my world.

I embraced waking up to the darkness and navigated my mornings with the under-counter kitchen lights dimmed to emit the least amount of light. I lit a candle in the bathroom and wrote by the light of a lamp.

I didn't turn on the fan. I kept all noises to a bare minimum. I padded around in the quiet of the mornings until the sun woke up and signaled the need to carry on with real life demands.

I love my quiet little life and have held onto the muted sensory intake for several years. I have a candle in the bathroom which emits a faint light and light aroma. 

When COVID hit, most people were running to stock up on toilet paper. I was scrambling to restock my candle supply in case stores closed or we had to quarantine in place. 

Since that time, I have maintained an ample supply of toilet paper AND candles. The exception to restocking my candle supply came when budget restrictions demanded I stay clear of the dollar store where I replenished my candle supply. 

I had ONE 80 hour candle which I thought had used up at least 75 of its candle hours left in the house. Each and every time I lit it, I thought "this" would be the day the candle would reach the end of its wick. Each day I blew out the candle, I counted it as a bonus day.

Two weeks ago, I restocked my candle supply. Two weeks prior to that, I thought the candle was nearing the end of its eighty hours of light. This morning, I blew out the candle yet one more time. The candle will live to burn another day.

The phrase "burning the candle at both ends" surfaces and resurfaces with each bonus day I light this Sea Salt & Caramel scented candle ONE more time. 

Burning the candle at only one end certainly adds an extended time of enjoyment to life. Literally and figuratively.

Gift to Self

I fritter away time like no one's business. When asked what I do in a day, I may be hard pressed to recall. But lately I have been hyper-vigilant in tracking my time and it amazes even me. I spend an awful lot of time doing things of little value. Or do I???

I feel like this has been a week (okay, two days out of seven) of walking around with a screwdriver. Fixing things. Tightening things. Moving latches and screwing them back in place. Tis the season of "shifting". Doors and gates don't close the way they did a week ago. Having had a screwdriver in my hand, I tend to notice a wobbly stool, loose cupboard door handles and why the heck did that bifold door fall off the track (I did it - I accidentally closed a mop handle in the immovable side of the door flush to the wall but did not notice the handle in said location until after watching a YouTube video on how to fix a bifold door).

There went (perhaps) an hour, maybe an hour and fifteen minutes all tolled, of my week. Where did the rest go?

Cat hair. Can I just say the allure of a hairless cat is starting to appeal to me? Where does the hair on a hairless cat go? Do they grow it and shed it? Or to they simply have a chronic case of alopecia and baldness means no new hair growth at all? Vacuuming, picking up, lint-brushing cat hair off of any surface cat hair can waft onto is consuming more of my time (now that I have a 100% cat hair free zone in my little home-away-from-home, I tend to notice cat hair more than ever before). Even at that, on an average, I cannot claim that cat hair removal claims any more than a half hour ten minutes per day.

Podcasts. My newest favorite thing. I believe I spend that time wisely as I combine listening to fun, inspiring and thought provoking topics while I do what I have done every morning for years. I listen while I work on my morning puzzles, sip on my morning smoothie and have my second (often third) cup of coffee. Now there is a full hour of my day, not counting the time I spend prior to and after the podcast, tending to banking and other computerized chores (grocery shopping), where I need to concentrate too hard to listen to a podcast at the same time. Let's say I spend two hours of the morning at the computer.

Morning pages. I have recently discovered if I have a smooth writing pen and write really, really fast without interruption, I can speed through three, 8-1/2" X 11" pages in half an hour to 35 minutes. Add the prep time to make my coffee and make my way to my quiet little writing spot and the amount of distractions it takes to get me from pre-morning pages to post-morning pages and there is another hour gone. POOF!

Cat litter. A separate paragraph and a separate thought from cat hair. Daily. On-going. A chore my daughter was/is willing to share with me but my inane perfectionist mind has convinced me it is easier to do it myself. I can always find an extra chore to add onto the litter cleaning. A five minute job probably rounds up to fifteen minutes some days. But I take weekends off. So there!

Vacuuming, bathing, showering, taking out garbage/recycling, shoveling snow, preparing my supper-to-go, taking time to stop and "chew" (my morning smoothie and coffee only takes me to about 10:30 and then the need for solid sustenance intervenes). Mail-checking, email-checking, message-checking, message-responding ... 

Oh!!!! The many, many distractions I opt in on. I tend to call these distractions "cleansing my palate" in the midst of my work-from-home day. I get my head in a mathematical problem and tend to think I need to walk away for a moment. Yes! That ONE piece of paper needs to go to the recycling bin by the back door immediately. Yes! I need to quickly check in on Instagram to see if any of the "talking dogs/cats" (people actually train their dogs/cats to speak to them with buttons to cue their humans to what they want/need); groundhogs; and other human critters with less hair I choose to follow and entertain me.

Distractions quite easily eat up (possibly) two hours out of a day. One day when I'm really bored (or in the need of "cleansing my palate"), I should track the time I loose to my various distracting habits.

Oh yes, then there is work. My actual job! Amazingly, it eats up a fair chunk of my day too. I am getting much better at working smarter. Or is it just called "working one job per day" for five days, in the past three weeks. Oh, there is nothing like being able to JUST STAY HOME until the work one wants to complete in a day is done. I called in "work" (not sick) from my second form of income one day and it was so intoxicating, I asked for a few more days off the following week, followed by an offer of one final day off this week. It was the best un-holiday I've ever had. When I grow up, I hope to have only ONE job ...

Am I whining? Complaining? Making excuses? Not intentionally. It may sound like it, but I am grateful for this cat-hairy, distracted, work-filled, people-filled life I lead. How I choose to spend my hours IS a choice. 

I could opt to invest my hours very differently than I do. The miracle of waking up every morning is that each day is a bright new set of options. 

Today?? I gave myself a little gift. I have chosen to sit still with this little blog space I used to call home and write. Just write.

Nothing big, small or indifferent to say. No lessons, no ranting, no carrying on about the myriad of thoughts in this busy little brain of mine. Just the little stuff. The inane. The act of choosing my daily grind in various ways with lots of room to adapt with the flow of whatever life throws my way.

Sitting down and typing (verses hand writing my morning pages) feels like an entirely different experience. I have been using my "gift" of computer time to spreadsheets, work-related emails, tax & accounting programs during my work-day, with a side order of puzzles, podcasts and on-line grocery shopping/banking for fun. I forgot how much I once enjoyed just letting my fingers fly over the keyboard and seeing what they have to say.

Apparently my fingers had much to say about nothing. I wish you a day of following your choices and hoping it takes you where you most need to be.

Today, may you give yourself the gift of spending time doing something that brings you joy. 

Throwback Thursday

Going through old cards and memories, I found these treasures:

Anyone who knew me, knew how much I loved ballroom dancing.

I miss the good ol' days when every thought in my head vanished 

the moment I walked onto the dance floor.

I was fortunate enough to find a passion where I could lose myself. 

Have you ever had such a passion? 

If so, do you still hold onto it? 

Question of the hour: 

Where does that passion go? 

How can we rekindle it? 

Personally, I may dig a little deeper into my photographs, memories and videos to rekindle the joy.

Oh, to feel joyful, hopeful and passionate again.

Feeling Awesome

The feeling of "Ahhh ..." is coursing through my veins this morning. 

It is Friday. I don't have to leave the house today, tomorrow or even the next few days. All "must-do" errands have been run. I am home.

My son is starting back to school. While the new school year still holds its fair share of nerves and apprehensions, his world has become far too small the past six months. Routine, structure, learning and socialization will be a very good thing. I feel a sense of my "ahh-ness" extended towards my son.

My apprehension about leaving the province has been sanctioned by the powers that be. It is recommended to stay within the province unless absolutely necessary. So I have no guilt over remaining home this last long weekend of the summer. 

I spent almost half of my monthly income yesterday so my budget strings are tied tight. The challenge is to live within my means for the remainder of this month so I can breathe a little easier next month.

COVID restrictions, budget restrictions, a return of some semblance of normal for my youngest son and simply knowing though I have the option of leaving home, there are no obligations outside of our property line this long weekend equal a state of contentment within.

The feeling of "ahhh" is pretty "ahhhsome".

Happy long weekend to all. May a little bit of awesome find its way into your world.

A Baby!!!

My aunt called out to me, "Those magpies are after the rabbit under the picnic table". My aunt knows how much I adore rabbits so I was expecting to see a full grown rabbit and an interaction between a rabbit and a bird. I didn't expect to witness what was unfolding before us.

Six magpies had cornered and surrounded a tiny baby rabbit under a picnic table. This feisty little rabbit was rearing up on its haunches in an attempt to scare off its attackers. 

We assessed the situation for a minute before I went out to shoo off the magpies. They were quite determined to continue the pursuit of this defenseless little rabbit and I actually had to circle the table before all six of them flew away.

I knelt down and talked to the baby rabbit in what I hoped it would understand as a friendly tone. I made quiet little sounds and tried to convince the baby I was not going to hurt it. I picked up some dandelion leaves and extended my hand toward the little rabbit and it approached me.

I thought my heart may explode with glee. This baby was coming to me! 

As soon as it got to my hand, it made little rabbit growling sounds and scratched my fingers with its front paws. It was not interested in the dandelion leaves I had offered. It was determined to show me who was boss and I respected this fierce little bunny warrior's stance.

I should have quietly backed away and left this little critter alone but my joy of not only seeing a baby rabbit but actually having it approach me and touch me captivated my attention. So I stayed.

My aunt's apartment is not the only one in this complex that faces this park setting. The moment I looked up and away from the rabbit was when I realized one of my aunt's neighbors was standing right behind me, taking a picture of this baby. I walked away from the scene and another neighbor told me this baby had been spotted by others earlier in the day. We wondered where its mother was and we just wanted this baby to feel safe and protected.

I was feeling a tad melancholy before the baby rabbit encounter. My heart was not in my day and I truly just wanted to be home tending to my own little world. I was having a hard time being away from home when my aunt called my attention to the little miracle hidden within a regular ordinary day.

In the millisecond it took for that baby rabbit to approach me, I felt I was living my dream. One day, I sat at this very computer and wrote of Setting Intentions. Number one on the list is: "Tame a wild rabbit or two".

Nature. Lost in the moment. Feeling the touch of a baby rabbit. The world beyond the baby rabbit and me did not exist in that moment. I was lost. Lost in my field of dreams. I didn't build it. But I did imagine it. If you imagine it, you will recognize it when it comes.

May you find amazement in one small moment today. A moment that takes your breath away.

I Miss Me

Waking up to a weekend full of so many thoughts, feelings, ideas and wishes has reminded me of how much I miss "me".

My introvert personality tendencies have me revelling in and losing myself in the COVID world of social distancing and isolation. The Coronavirus is enabling my natural inborn desires which is both wonderful and awful at the same time.

Add working-from-home plus my inclination to catch up on every little single thing I'm working on to this equation and I created a Math Zombie Personality (which is not my best self).

Long ago, I recognized my need for the law and order of a numbers related world to be counteracted with socialization, words, communication and enough quiet to hear myself think.

Decades of working in the banking industry fulfilled most of those needs. The ability to balance to zero was counteracted with the need to provide good customer service. My ability to listen, communicate, act and react in accordance with whoever was in front of me was a very good fit for me. 

My years of daycaring were offset with working at a bank on Saturdays, followed by a part-time bookkeeping job which became full-time. Full-time bookkeeping (all numbers) didn't fulfill my needs and eventually morphed into working as a part-time secretary (all people and words) within the school system. This catapulted me back into my daycaring/bookkeeping role where I was back in a place which was a relatively balanced equation of people, numbers, creativity and writing.

I fell out of balance a week ago when I immersed myself in work. 

I stopped thinking, processing and reflecting life-as-I-know-it. I had nothing to say, no time to say it, no one to say it to and putting this lack of nothingness into the form of a blog post was the end result. 

I took a day off yesterday. Words, thoughts, feelings and the desire to interact with friends and family came to the forefront of my mind again.

I woke up this morning feeling fresh, renewed, revitalized and ready to take on more than numbers.

I felt all these feelings and the sensation of "joy" started oozing out of my pores. I gave myself a mental hug and thought to myself, "I miss ME".

I'm going to indulge myself with whatever the day brings. I cannot wait to see what unfolds today as I create a whimsical day to just be "me". I've missed this ...

Best. Afternoon. Ever.

Into each life, a little rain must fall 

(I believe it is said and I'm too lazy to Google this to site a source so let me just say I've heard this somewhere before)

After the rain, look upwards and you may find a rainbow.

After a tough day, look outside and there is a very good chance nature will reward you with signs of hope, life and a sense of peace.

I walked out of my 24 hour "worst day ever" and into my second place of employment.

Enter ... the rabbits!

We sat on the deck, marveled at the glorious day. 

The snow is all but gone.

The sun was shining.

Life was good.

Then the rabbits started to appear. One. Two. Three. Four. At least four of them.

They paired up and played.

They hopped off into the distance, crossed the street and then came back.

One rabbit was primarily white, a second was white with its summer coat starting to emerge,

the third and fourth rabbits were mostly brown.

They came close to where we sat and allowed us to marvel over them without fear.

They frolicked and amused us for the better part of an hour.

The Rabbit Hour was the best gift I could have ever hoped for.

Then I woke up this morning.

I made a cup of coffee and did not fast track into my day.

"I need to sit, be still, watch nature and turn away from all things technological"

That is exactly what I did.

Then guess who hopped by to nibble on the last of the rabbit kibble I scattered under our tree last night in the hope of attracting my furry, long eared friends:

Life is good.

Turn off the news.

Look outside.

Better yet, sit outside if you can do so safely.

And wait.

The best is yet to come...

Thank You, Adam

I went to a house concert last night. As a rule, this is one of my favorite things to do.

I don't know the "why's" of why I couldn't find my groove last night. I love the environment. I like the crowd this venue attracts. I enjoyed the company of the person I went with. But I just couldn't get out of my head and simply enjoy the moment I was in.

Then my friend brought my attention to a young boy named Adam (the singer knew him personally and acknowledged him, his birthday and the fact she had known him for most of his life).

Adam personified "living in the moment you are in". He bobbed and moved to the music. He sang out loud with great enthusiasm whenever the audience was invited to sing along. He went up on stage not once, but twice. The second time he was more comfortable and simply could not help but tap along to the beat of the music on the wooden box he sat on.

He moved to the beat, he added a well defined and perfectly timed percussion. He went with the ebbs and flows of the music, louder at times, tapping lightly at others.

Adam's smile was infectious. Watching Adam absorb the music and let it flow freely through him brought me back into the present moment. I felt his enjoyment pulse through me.

I have been thinking far too much lately. I have absorbed too much news and negativity. The state of the world is affecting me.

Then came Adam. Joy personified.

Adam changed the way I felt the world for two hours last night. Adam, you made a difference. I can only imagine how your infectious enthusiasm touched those who had the gift of watching you take in the music. We need more "Adam's" in the world.

Thank you, Adam.

Feeling the Joy

While I have gone on about "love" and "happy" being more of a verb than a way to describe how I am feeling, as I sat this morning with my coffee cup nestled to my heart watching rabbits, what I felt was pure, unadulterated "joy". It was definitely a feeling.

Our neighborhood rabbits have been entertaining me on a regular basis. One morning, there were two rabbits nibbling on the kibble sprinkled generously under the fir tree in our front yard. They ate to their heart's content and moved on when the spirit moved them. Two more rabbits came into view. I sat and gazed at the antics of the rabbit quartet and my heart was full.

There are most definitely four rabbits residing in and around our neighborhood. There may be more but "four" seems to be the number I spot on a regular basis.

I gaze out the window and it never ceases to amaze me how these white snowballs blend into the scenery so seamlessly. I can be looking right at a rabbit and not recognize it until it moves or its ears perk up. They appear to be very aware of each other's presence. One will come out of hiding and find another, then the two will hop off. They all seem to be headed in one particular direction, spread out a little as they make their way down the street but when one heads down the street where they hop out of sight, I just wait. Because one by one, they all follow.

We couldn't live in a better rabbit-watching spot. Here in this little curve of our road, I can see down two streets and into the front yards where they seem to frolic and play before they disappear out of sight. If I lived across the street or even one house either side of where we live, I would lose the panoramic view I so enjoy.

I think of the rabbits who resided in and around Mom's street. Her street was quieter than ours. It was not uncommon to spot a rabbit sunning itself in Mom's or a neighbor's front yard in the middle of the day. Our rabbits only seem to come into view at dusk and dawn. The sun is getting up earlier and going down later every day (yay!!!), but will this hamper my prime rabbit viewing times?

I gaze out our living room window with my coffee cup close to my heart. I let my mind wander. I scan the neighborhood for movement or any new snow clumps (they usually turn out to be a rabbit). It is like playing "Where's Waldo?" every morning as the backdrop stays the same but I am almost certain there is a rabbit hiding in plain sight if I can just spot it.

This is the closest I come to meditation. It has taken the place of writing my "Morning Pages". This little ritual brings me a state of joyfulness that comes from within.

I wish you joy ... in whatever manner you find it. Hold it close to your heart and savor the feeling. Like our rabbits, often joy is hiding in plain sight. It is just a matter of letting it reveal itself.

Rabbit Tracks in the Snow

I love fresh snow! It is the most excellent way of monitoring the presence of rabbits who wander through our yard and is the next best thing to video surveillance. 

I got home at 8:00 last night and found one set of rabbit prints entering our yard. There was a distinct "rabbit print" in the snow, where you could tell it stopped and rested a while right beside the rabbit food dish.

I checked sporadically through the rest of my waking hours. No rabbit sighting. No more rabbit prints in the snow.

Then I woke up this morning to find this!!!

Between word getting out that there is food to be had in this yard and the obvious curiousity these little guys have for our new Christmas light projector, there was a Rabbit Palooza going on in our front yard over night!

All these rabbit tracks and no actual rabbit spottings ...

It made me ponder the presence which is all around us that we cannot see. This thought warmed me from the inside, out and I felt no end of joy as I thought of the mystic and whimsical thoughts of "that which I cannot see that is all around me".

The absolute joy I felt as I gazed at all the rabbit tracks filled my soul. I gazed out into our front yard and simply enjoyed the wonder of it all.

Then guess who hopped in to have a little snack on his way past our yard? Yes, an actual rabbit! And I shall name it "Joy".

Christmas Joy

This is what I returned home to last night:

My son set this up yesterday and didn't trust leaving it unattended. So he also set up a video time lapse to "catch a thief", should anyone try to steal our Christmas light projector.

Look who came to check out our new lights! 

I was over the moon when we stumbled across this video footage: 

Christmas Joy in the form of our friendly neighborhood rabbit.

Joy

You know you are in the right place ...

... when "Joy" is the focal point of the kitchen.

*Compliments of our most excellent BnB in Guelph*

Laughter is the Best Medicine

I take life seriously. I really do. Life is filled with challenges, seriousness and while it often feels like there is every reason to cry, complain and surrender, I find laughter is the salve that soothes my weary soul.

I like to laugh. I like to surround myself with people who bring out the lightness in life. As I write these words, I hear the laughter. I think of people whose resting face is joyful, with a twinkle in their eye.

People who can download the stressors within their world in a light hearted fashion are people I look up to, want to be around and want to emulate.

When I think of times when my world felt the most bleak, I remember the laughter that broke through the darkness and reminded me "this too shall pass".

My memories ring with laughter as I think of the people, relationships and conversations I have had. The memory that stands out above the rest is the laughter.

In my humble opinion, laughter is the best medicine. Add a good night's sleep and good nutrition to that equation and that is the recipe for a life well lived.

Filled to Overflowing

Do you ever have those moments that are fleeting but in the millisecond that you stop to breathe it in, it is like you are feeling the miracle of life? I get these flashes of clarity that feel bigger than life. Let me tell you about my last moment such as this ...

My sister invited me to go to Cher with her a while back. It took but a nanosecond for me to read and respond to this invitation. "Yes" was the only option that crossed my mind. Cher's concert was two nights ago.

My sister has had an occasion to sleep over here four times in the last seven weeks. She has a bed with her name on it. Anything I need to remember to give her is simply tossed onto "her" bed until the next time.

Our visits are quick, light, easy and always leave me feeling on top of the world. We decided to go out for breakfast in honor of our last sister sleepover for a while. As I was driving into Denny's parking lot, my heart simply swelled up with joy.

Each and every one of our visits has been great. Last night was the grand finale of them all. We shared a drink before supper then headed off to our evening's entertainment. The long line up moved quickly and when we got to the part where our tickets were scanned, my sister was told "Don't go anywhere", so she didn't. My ticket was scanned and we were told to go to the Ticket Exchange table to get better seats.

We felt like we had won a lottery until we found the table and back tracked to the end of another very long line. I guess we weren't so special after all. None-the-less we were still thrilled with the upgrade.

The feeling that I had won the lottery stayed with me all night. My sister is joyful, says "yes" to life's invitations, loves the moment she is in, adores her family, honors her friends, she works as hard as she plays and it simply feels good to be in her presence.

We shared a drink and conversation when we got home from seeing Cher, woke up and continued the conversation over a cup of coffee, then drove to Denny's where we would complete that conversation over breakfast.

Driving into Denny's parking lot, my heart filled to overflowing. I was loving the moment I was in, grateful for all the visits we've had and looking forward to when our lives intersect again.

The connection within our family is a gift I cherish like no other. It fills me up, makes me whole and calms my soul. I am grateful. I am so very grateful.

Happy Birthday, Mom

Birthdays were never a big deal for Mom. I don't think she particularly enjoyed a day that brought attention to her advancing years but I would imagine she didn't mind the contact from family due to the occasion.

We only surprised her once. One surprise party on her 65th birthday was one too many but she was young enough to survive the shock and tell us to never EVER do this again. So we didn't.

Fifteen years later, we asked if she would be agreeable to a gathering of the families on or around her birthday. We tried to take the focus off of "birthday" (my brother jokingly interchanged the word "extravaganza" in its place) and with Mom's blessing and input, we had a most excellent gathering of family and friends.

We collected hand written memories and/or pictures in place of gifts, amassed them in a binder and it was a gift Mom enjoyed for years to come.

I can visualize the pictures in my mind. The year was 2008, everyone was in good health and Mom was surrounded by her sisters, brothers in law (who felt like brothers to her), family, family, more family and friends.

She danced to the song "Could I Have This Dance" with my cousin, who had danced to this song with his bride on his wedding day.

There was a program which was light and easy, we had a few family soloists who sang some of Mom's favorite songs. It was a fun, easy and memorable day. I'm so glad we have the memory to hold onto.

Mom's funeral was very similar to that special birthday memory.

The year was 2017. She was the sole member of her family left. Her sisters, who were all alive on Mom's 80th birthday, predeceased her. A brother-in-law and two sisters-in-law had also passed. Looking at Mom's 80th birthday pictures, I see the life in everyone's eyes that was extinguished during the years that followed.

I remember the impassioned letter I wrote to a family member who couldn't attend the occasion due to their beliefs. They celebrate wedding anniversaries but not birthdays. There were no more wedding anniversaries for Mom, since Dad died thirty years before Mom. We were gathering family and friends in good times and my unspoken plea was "Please celebrate Mom with us while she is here to enjoy the party".

I didn't sway their decision. But I tried.

I'm so grateful for the memory of that special "Extravaganza" celebration of Mom's life. The joy of that day lives on and I believe we brought a piece of that most special occasion into our final good-bye to her.

When you live a joy-filled life, it is easier to smile at all the memories as your days wind down to an end. I think of the laughter that surrounded what would become Mom's final year. I remember thinking how disrespectful it must seem, to be laughing in the hospital corridors while others were facing life and death situations. Little did I realize at the time, that was "us". We were walking through Mom's final days with her. Although it was heart breaking at times, it wasn't a sorrowful time because we had an arsenal of good thoughts, memories and a mighty spunky mom who made things as easy as they could be.

It was her final wish for us to simply be with her. She would rest, wanted to hear our voices and laughter.

One of my favorite pictures of the day. Maybe not the best pose, but it captured the essence of the day. "Familiarity and ease among family and friends"

Mom, with her sisters and Dad's brothers

Mom, with Dad's brothers. This is such a good picture of Mom and I can still hear her voice saying "They were like brothers to me" (and I can also hear the voice of Dad's brother echoing the sentiment)

"Could I Have This Dance" ~ the grand finale of what was a most excellent day

Thanks for the memories, Mom. They are a gift like no other...