And This Too, Shall Pass Away

Within days of thinking that I had stumbled across a miracle cure for my crickety shoulder (which only worked in its entirety, when I gently negotiated it into the place it was comfortable), I developed something new and improved. A sore neck with spasms of pain that stopped me in my tracks. Buckled my knees and brought me to the ground. Pain that I could only close my eyes, breathe through and endure ... until it subsided.

I took two pain killers at the onset of this new symptom. Nothing. I iced my achy neck muscles. Less than nothing. Eventually I discovered that heat resulted in short term relief. Heat was my friend. I stood in the shower and let the warm water pulsate on my aching muscles. The sound of the water, the heat and the massaging action of the water washed my pain away. For the moment.

What did I appreciate about this pain that stopped me in my tracks each time I moved my head too much? It was temporary. Somewhat like labor, because I knew the pain was only temporarily subsiding. But I had pain free breaks in between the spasms that stopped my world.

What if ... that pain was unending? Not only for the day ... but for weeks, months or years? I cannot even fathom it.

My neck spasm saga ended at the end of one day. I'm one of the fortunate ones. I know that and I'm grateful beyond words.

This whole little mini drama in my world reminded me of 'life'. The times in our lives when circumstances stop us in our tracks, brings us to our knees and causes unbearable pain. Emotional pain.

Nothing numbs it. The 'pain killers' of choice don't touch what is real within. There may be temporary relief, but when the numbness wears off, there is reality.

But, like my muscle spasms and eventual (almost) recovery ... the intensity of the pain starts to fade. Real life seeps in to distract you. It isn't the solution, but it helps to divert your attention. Kind of like stubbing your toe diverts your attention from a chronic head ache.

As I write this, I think of the countless lives that are affected by the loss of a child, a spouse, a sibling, a brain injury, a stroke ... and I know that what I have lived and breathed through is nothing compared to this. But the survivors of even these tragedies must find a way to work past the pain.

The intensity of life varies for each of us. If we are fortunate, we know that even when our time of sorrow is rooted very deep and will affect our lives forever ... that this (the intensity of our hurt) too, shall pass away.

When we lose someone we love, there is an emptiness that words can't begin to describe. When your world is turned upside down and you must start from scratch, you can get lost as you mourn 'what used to be'.

Your world may stop and bring you to the ground. There may be nothing that you can do to numb the pain but just close your eyes and breathe through the intensity of it. You must look beyond that moment and know ... that even when life hurts 'this much' ... the pain doesn't remain this intense.

Just as the moments of glory are only fleeting, so are those of great sorrow. There may still be that dull ache that remains ... but the more you allow life to fill you up and propel forward, the intensity subsides.

Stand in a shower ... treat your pain kindly ... find relief ... and let it wash away. And know that it won't always feel this way. Let life's rain upon you, knowing that after the rain often comes a rainbow.

And this too, shall pass away.