1000

I am "1000 Posts Old" today. Funny, I don't feel a day over 300.

I went back to the archives yesterday ... back to December 29, 2007. I made it to April 20, 2008 before I had to come back to the real world and make supper.

I had hoped to write something deep and meaningful after scanning the 999 entries that have preceded this one.

But I kept stopping to read an entry here, there and everywhere.

What have I noticed? The seeds planted just over three years ago have taken root and grown. Almost every part of who I am today is a result of putting myself out there, doing 'impossible things' and risking a small piece of myself.

What is consistent? The love of writing, dancing ... my family grounds me ... friendships. Oh, the friendships!

Have I changed? I have become stronger and more confident. I have simply become more of who I have been all along.

What makes my heart sing? My children.

My Youngest ... who at age 12 has a solid foundation to build on. No matter what happens from this point on, I know that he will always be who he is. Only more.

My Second Born Son ... his middle name is my Dad's name. He is probably the one of my children who is most like my dad. He had an wealth of knowledge and perspective which far exceeds his 23 years. I wish, hope and part of me believes that Dad is be looking down on him and somehow encouraging to continue to be more of who he already is.

My First Born Son ... he has spent the last year rebuilding his life. It has been a tough road. I have closed my eyes and hoped for the best as he travelled that road his way. Not mine. We sat down last night and talked. We acknowledged how far he has come since this time, last year. He is developing self confidence. Possibly something that eluded him throughout his life (up to this point). Something I can totally relate to. He is finally starting to see the value in who he is. He is becoming the person that he always wanted to be (and has been all along).

The seeds are planted. Not only am I more fully grounded and stronger ... my children are benefiting from that sense of knowing who they are and where they come from.

I have researched my own family 'roots' and I have found such peace in feeling that I fit and truly belong not only within my family ... but my own little piece of this world.

I feel like I am teaching my children some valuable lessons by example. I see pieces of myself in all three of my children. I feel them finding their own unique way in the world.

What will change throughout the next 1000 posts? Hopefully more of the same. An evolution of who we already are ... but growing towards the people who we are meant to be.