Do Unto Others ...

I know people get busy. I know that there are underlying frustrations, worries and an entire back story going on within each person you come into contact with. I know that I have done the same. But what truly gives a person the 'right' to speak to another, in a demeaning manner?

I know for a fact that I have 'jumped' on my children when they have asked a simple question. When they were young, I probably went on with my day and never thought another thing about it. As they grew older, they responded in kind.

During the teen years, this response may have led to an argument that started with someone belittling the other's value by talking to them in such a tone.

Other responses have been the 'cone of silence'. Each of us has retreated within ourselves when words have been hurled that cut below the surface.

As my children grew into adults, this particular scenario started playing out differently. They would 'call me on it' when I said something that was hurtful or inappropriate. We have stopped in our tracks and retracted,  reworded or explained where the emotion was coming from.

Looking back, I physically shudder when I think of the injuries that my tone of voice, body language and words have caused over the years. I have learned to think more before I speak. No matter who I'm talking to, I (try to) consciously weigh what I am saying and how it will feel to be on the receiving end of those words.

It's been a work in progress (always with room for improvement), but the response you get from speaking to another person with respect nears the 98% effective rate.

I rarely (if ever) raise my voice any more. In fact, I have scared myself when the volume of my voice rises. What scares me more than anything, is that during the height of my (many) frustrating moments of life, this decibel level was not out of the ordinary.

I do not get drawn into an argument. I don't agree with everything I hear. I may have my way of thinking and someone else has theirs. But it is not a requirement that I see eye to eye on every level with every person. I listen. I stand my ground. But it is a waste of energy to argue. So I don't (do I??).

"How to treat people" is probably the most valuable lesson I have learned in my life. I have learned through example. Most importantly, by my parents and also the rest of my family and friends. I have learned how I do and don't like to be treated as a: customer, employee,  child, friend, parent (and the list goes on). I have learned how to treat people when you run your own business. My children have taught me a lot (yes, I know I was a slow learner ... sorry!!).

I've learned. I'm still learning.

So when someone barks at me without consideration or thought for who I am and what I am trying to communicate ... it bothers me. It takes the wind out of my sails and I become less of who I am. No one has that right.

Thought for the day: "How many times have I done this to others?"

Goal for a lifetime: "Treat others with the respect they deserve". More often than not, people respond in kind.

Every now and again, you run into someone having a bad day. Forgive them. Tomorrow, it could be you.