Kindness Abounds

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

~Aesop

I hate to admit how much  harder it is becoming to voluntarily walk out of this door and push myself into the world of people and activities that used to fuel me. I have retreated into my shell and I find myself quite content within my safety zone at home.

I found myself committed to an evening outside of these doors last night. When I accepted the 'challenge', it was not easy. I finally convinced myself to go by admitting aloud that I have to start saying "Yes!" to life again and telling a friend that I would be there. Then I had to further stake my commitment and RSVP to an invitation to attend a dance at the dance studio that used to be my "Cheers". The place where everyone knew my name. My oasis of happiness and cheer.

Why in the world was it so hard to want to go as the day grew closer? If I had not committed myself, I am quite certain that I would have backed out. I haven't been able to dance much over the course of the past year. I felt that I was falling out of my place there. I haven't felt at ease there the last while. My oasis in the desert was drying up ...

But I said I would go. So I went.

I booked a dance lesson before the big event as a way to further entice me back through the doors. I walked into the studio and I was the only student there. Ahhh ... there was no discomfort as I made my way. And it just kept on getting easier.

The next person who arrived was a friend. Then more and more people walked in. A lot of them were familiar to me and many were people that I have come to know quite well over the years.

Conversation was easy. The entertainment was light. There was a small amount of dancing (a combination of too much food and not enough men). It was good.

I was on the receiving end of many small kindnesses throughout the evening. The entire day was a smattering of unexpected gifts.

Kind words. Kind acts. I felt enveloped in kind people and gentle acts of kindness.

It gave me courage. I signed up for more dance lessons in the new year. The dance studio's two-day offer was enticing ... but more importantly, I felt a part of myself come back to life last night. I know that I must follow this familiar path and let it take me where I need to go.

I used to like the person that I became when I danced. It was so much more than dancing. It was being part of a community. It was moving to the music of life.

“Dance is the hidden language of the soul”

~ Martha Graham