Depleted

The week has drained me to the very core of my existence. 'Quiet Time' during my daycare day has been infringed upon. Taking with it, a little piece of my sanity.

Honestly, it isn't that awful. It is just hard. Really hard.

Instead of putting my little Nixon (my private nickname for the leader-in-play-whom-I-wish-to-impeach) down for a nap in a bed, I make a cozy spot for him on the couch and make it very, very easy for him to drift off to sleep. And he does (but not without a fight ... yesterday, he was literally pulling Senior Cat's whiskers one second and two seconds later, he was sawing logs).

I have two napping children in the living room and I pussy foot around the house and cannot let my guard down (aka: have a little snooze on one of those couches myself).

Nap time is the time I gather up what I need to get through the remainder of the day and now when I do manage to find those moments I cannot even enjoy them.

My reward for enduring this week? I get to work all weekend.

It is -40 outside once again this morning. The benefit of my daycare job that no one can take away from me, is the fact that I do not have to brave the elements to make my way to work. Not this weekend. I get to experience reality like the rest of the population.

The flip side of this trying week is that I have fit Christmas cards and my dad's family's Book of Memories in between the cracks. Perhaps not 'quality' workmanship in either case (I apologize in advance for Christmas cards written between the dates of Dec 3 to Dec 6) ... but steps in a forward direction.

As much as this week has felt like trudging through two foot snow banks (hard, exhausting, futile and destinations feeling so-out-of-reach at times), I have kept putting one foot in front of the other, taking a pit stop to 'warm up and refuel' each night and continued on my journey the next day.

I was talking with a friend yesterday (who also runs a daycare from her home) and we both agreed that 'this' is where it is at for us. To be able to say that (and mean it) during a week-such-as-this-one says a lot.

I'm in this. I'm all in. For better, for worse. For the good, the bad and the ugly. In sickness and in health (though I may need a few new couches after last week's stomach flu...). For as long as it remains 'in the best interests of the children'.

I may be depleted. But my energy is a renewable resource. I will keep coming back to this. It is exactly where I am meant to be right now.