Loss

Living with loss is weighing heavy on my mind this morning.

Perhaps it is because of the Mother's Day just passed. In my mini rant against Hallmark Holidays, I overlooked the parents who have lost a child. Those parents are all that I can think about this morning.

Once again, it angers me (a little) that these invented greeting card holidays accentuate the pain of loss for so many. In reality, Mother's Day is only one of a million triggers for someone who has lost a loved one.

I haven't faced this type of loss up close and personal so I cannot speak to it.

I do stand by my original thought of making the most out of the 'small stuff'. Life's every day moments are the ones to celebrate. And mourn.

When you wake up each morning to a void that was once filled by a vital person within your world, does anything ever feel the same again?

I lost my own dad so very, very long ago that all that is left is the good stuff. Light, easy and comfortable memories.

I can't remember how long it took to get here. But loving someone who is no longer part of your life never ends. I would love to say that the memories live on. Yet they fade. Thus ... I write.

I write about life's little things, big things and everything in between. As I look back upon what I have read in the past, I often have cryptic messages to myself in between the lines. The message was so strong and clear at the time. Yet time faded the acute emotion into gray.

It isn't the Hallmark Holidays that stand out in my mind. It is the small stuff. It is always the small stuff.

For those who are missing someone they lost, I empathize with the pain of remembering that small stuff on a daily basis. All I know is what came true for me. In time, those very same memories creep into your day-to-day world and comfort you when you need them the most.

But the loss of a child. Or a spouse. Or a friend who had not yet lived the long life that we somehow come to expect in this world. How does a person heal? I don't know. I have no idea. I cannot even comprehend it.

I am just sorry. I am so very sorry.