No Regrets

My fingers fumbled over the keyboard yesterday morning and the next thing I knew, I had accidentally opened an archive of blogs I once wrote at Life As I Know It - MyKawartha.com.

I let myself wander through some of my writing. I write everything and anything here but I only allowed what I considered my "better writing" to be published when I wrote for a handful of publications. So I spent a little time reading my thoughts from yesteryear.

The post that stayed with me long after I read it, was something I wrote after Mother's Day, 2016. I had decided to surprise Mom with a visit in lieu of a Mother's Day phone call. I recognized the truth in the words, "I have gone out to surprise Mom for Mother's Day two years in a row now. I think my reasoning behind the surprise factor, is my dire need to have an "out" if I can't follow through on my plan. I was so close to cancelling. SO close."

It was a weekend that could have just as easily not happened. 

All was well in May, 2016. A year later, much had changed and I don't think I was alone with the feeling it would be our last Mother's Day with Mom. 

Prior to Mother's Day 2017, Mom dictated a message and asked me to text it to my siblings. No voting upon the where, when and how. No fuss, no muss. Just a simple invitation with easy to follow instructions:

We all met up and shared a Mother's Day brunch together. It was a chilly day so we didn't head off to a nearby park as we had done in years past. Mother's Day was a day that meant a lot to Mom and I am so grateful we were all with her. No surprises. She was fully in control. It was a good day.

There have been so many good memories, made without thought of "this could be the last". There were stand out moments all along the way. Moments of laughter, joy, celebration of togetherness and the simple gift of appreciation of what we have. 

It was a gift to find words I had written when all was right in the world and there was no foreshadowing of what was to come. 

May, 2016 I wrote:

I have the feeling Mom would have been just as happy with a quick "Mother's Day phone call" and perhaps a card in the mail. But I didn't plan that far in advance. Maybe next year ...

And that is the gift of the weekend past. The gift of thinking, "I will try this differently next year, knowing I did my best this year". Tomorrow is not promised. Today is a gift. Living life in the present tense is the only true way to live a life.

Looking back at the weekend past, I know I will never regret it. That is the way I need to live my life. Living my life nestled up in the serenity and security of our home is also a gift. But it is best appreciated when I leave the nest from time to time.

There's no place like home! There is NO place like home!! But there is also no place like "going back home". I'm so glad I went.