Pivotal Moments

The ability to act and react to life is a skill I hope to hone and hold onto.

A recent set of events resulted in my sister changing course as she was on her way to one destination. On the highway already, once they were at the junction they turned right instead of continuing going straight. A few weekends later, they were on the highway to another destination to be present with family who had been touched with a tragedy.

I marveled at my sister's ability to act and react in the moment she was in and thought "I want to be just like her".

This is the sister who says "Yes!" to life and its invitations. I have often commented that if there is a time at the end of her days when she meets her maker and is asked if she has any regrets, her answer would be "No". From where I sit, she is living life the way it was intended to be lived.

I compare who I am and how I live to how my sister lives. I have had times when I lived life in a similar fashion. Having flexible employment makes all the difference in the world. When I worked full time outside my home, I abided by the limitations within my job. When I ran my daycare, I had numerous families depending on my reliability so my flexibility was nil. When I started working the jobs I have right now, the ability to bend and stretch my work hours as needed made all the difference in the world.

My role within my job has changed and my ability to take time off on a whim is next to nil. I miss the ability to be able to pivot on a dime. Act and react in the moment and go freely in the direction life points me toward.

The only thing for certain, is that nothing stays the same. "Be careful what you wish for" is a refrain that often runs through my mind. What I hope for will come. But at what cost?