Never have I been happier to flip over into a clean and empty calendar page than I have been lately. Calendar notations, appointments, Revenue Canada deadlines, what-to-do, what-has-been-done ... all of it. I simply love an empty canvas to recreate the feeling of beginning again.
May. Just the sound of it "may" ... it has the feel of a polite month. May I please ask you this one favor. May we fill some dates with fun activities? Maybe we can work in some outside spring clean-up. May flowers. Mother, may I?
I worked in the first round of yard clean up after returning home from my second job (on Monday, May 1st - great start to a new month, right?). Thanks to the extended daylight hours and fine weather, this arrangement set me up for success. I had an hour at my disposal and I made a game of it. I wonder how much I can do in an hour ...
Fueled by adrenaline, I pushed the deadline and came inside in need of a shower. Ahhh! A productive evening. A shower to mark the end of the day.
I was so pumped that I didn't even need to eat to stay awake. It was a marvelous feeling. Unfortunately I ate anyway. The habit is engrained deeply into my being. That is on me.
"I should do this every night!" was my immediate thought. If I don't do something productive, I could go for a walk. I was already feeling my resolve faltering before I left for my second job yesterday afternoon, so I started vacuuming and left the vacuum cleaner in a place where I would literally trip over it before I sat down in front of the TV and lost myself to old habits.
I vacuumed the small bit of vacuuming that was left and immediately climbed into my pj's and resumed my position in front of the TV. Once again, I didn't need to eat to stay awake so I enjoyed the sensation for as long as it lasted until I craved the sensation of the crunch and saltiness of a good bag of chips.
Houston, I think we have a problem. And the problem is me.
May I please be excused?
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