As I was going through old receipts yesterday morning, I found the ticket stub to the movie 'Enchanted'. At the same time, that was the movie that was playing for my first arrival of the day. I love that movie ...
For anyone who doesn't know the movie, the premise is that a fairy tale character is thrown into the real, non-fairy-tale world. She doesn't change her expectations of the world ... her world, in which dreams make wishes come true. And before you know it, the people of the real world were drawn into her dreamy world, where they sang and danced in the streets.
Yes, it is a fairy tale. But not entirely. If you are around a person who believes in magic, you are drawn into that world.
Attitudes are infectious. As this fairy tale character swirled her magic among the real world, people started to smile and their loads were lightened as they felt swept up in her essence.
I love to be around people with an attitude that I would like to rub off on me. I have neglected some relationships in my life lately ... and I believe that it is the negativity that I am shunning. Not necessarily the person.
Life may not be a fairy tale, but I do believe that dreams can make wishes come true.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Addicted to Happiness
I have quickly grown accustomed to feeling happy. Waking up and loving your life is a most wonderful habit to be in. I hadn't been feeling so elated with my life the last little while and I mourned the loss of that bounce in my step.
The past few days have turned things around for me once again. I know a person can't always be feeling on top of their world. The low spots, the struggles, the challenges and stress and even the tedium of the same old, same old are just a part of life. The secret is not to lose yourself in those down turns.
I have been falling prey to letting myself dwell on the negativity. I looked at the days and I didn't feel in control. For me, that is key. In a situation where you feel like you have no control, there is still some small portion that you can do something about. How you react to it.
It was the overwhelmed feeling that I had in my daycare world that was bringing me down the most. When I actually sat down, wrote what I was feeling and saw it looking back at me, I realized that what was bothering me specifically wasn't the entirety of the situation. But a few small pieces. And when I dissected those 'pieces' more carefully, I saw that I wasn't fighting a losing battle - I was already ahead of the game because my parents were communicating with me. It's just that I have so many of them, that I was feeling that my days were spinning out of control. And they are not.
I did what I always do when I feel my daycare situation is running amok. I wrote a newsletter. Putting words to paper and sharing them requires me to take a positive spin ... I still voiced my frustrations in a way to make my point but not have anyone take offense. That step alone, forces me to focus on what is positive in a negative situation. So I am already half way there when I find the right words.
Nothing has changed. Our day is still changing like the wind, a parent didn't pack spare clothes for their 2 yr old ... my 3 yr old in training had yet another accident, my 4 yr old with 'attitude' was sharing that again this morning, a mom with a day off on Monday is probably bringing her 2 yr old anyway - just because she can. This is my life.
My parents know how I feel and I am counting down the months to many of these upcoming maternity leaves (these families are my worst offenders) and I am grateful that nature has provided me a way out of some of this!
Not so long ago, I panicked when I realized all of these maternity leaves would upend my budget again. Last week, I realized I may be able to replace that lost income with a non-kid option. Today, I am grateful that some of these endless problems have an end in sight.
God never closes a door, without opening a window. Happiness may not be a daily occurence, but while you are waiting ... go find a new window to look through.
The past few days have turned things around for me once again. I know a person can't always be feeling on top of their world. The low spots, the struggles, the challenges and stress and even the tedium of the same old, same old are just a part of life. The secret is not to lose yourself in those down turns.
I have been falling prey to letting myself dwell on the negativity. I looked at the days and I didn't feel in control. For me, that is key. In a situation where you feel like you have no control, there is still some small portion that you can do something about. How you react to it.
It was the overwhelmed feeling that I had in my daycare world that was bringing me down the most. When I actually sat down, wrote what I was feeling and saw it looking back at me, I realized that what was bothering me specifically wasn't the entirety of the situation. But a few small pieces. And when I dissected those 'pieces' more carefully, I saw that I wasn't fighting a losing battle - I was already ahead of the game because my parents were communicating with me. It's just that I have so many of them, that I was feeling that my days were spinning out of control. And they are not.
I did what I always do when I feel my daycare situation is running amok. I wrote a newsletter. Putting words to paper and sharing them requires me to take a positive spin ... I still voiced my frustrations in a way to make my point but not have anyone take offense. That step alone, forces me to focus on what is positive in a negative situation. So I am already half way there when I find the right words.
Nothing has changed. Our day is still changing like the wind, a parent didn't pack spare clothes for their 2 yr old ... my 3 yr old in training had yet another accident, my 4 yr old with 'attitude' was sharing that again this morning, a mom with a day off on Monday is probably bringing her 2 yr old anyway - just because she can. This is my life.
My parents know how I feel and I am counting down the months to many of these upcoming maternity leaves (these families are my worst offenders) and I am grateful that nature has provided me a way out of some of this!
Not so long ago, I panicked when I realized all of these maternity leaves would upend my budget again. Last week, I realized I may be able to replace that lost income with a non-kid option. Today, I am grateful that some of these endless problems have an end in sight.
God never closes a door, without opening a window. Happiness may not be a daily occurence, but while you are waiting ... go find a new window to look through.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Difference a Day Makes
Lately, there has been a weariness that has set in. I was beyond exhausted last night. I slept until my alarm woke me this morning (I am always awake before my alarm). I wrote this mornings blog on exhaustion and I faced the day.
Wow!
I finished a few tasks that were on my mental to-do list. I had all of my kids picked up and gone by 5:40 tonight. I didn't have any work to do tonight. And it felt fantastic.
A sense of glee was deep inside of me as I cherished the moments of the evening. As Kurt and I ran an errand, we had an enjoyable conversation (and he thinks I'm doing a pretty good job as a mom). We weren't racing against the clock, but I was glad that we weren't gone long.
I sat and watched Dancing With the Stars with our cat. I went to him, picked him up and lavished attention on him before he demanded it. He rewarded me with his deepest, most heartfelt purr.
I puttered through the evening with nothing on my agenda. I just savored the moments, knowing that I had a good day behind me.
A good day. The kids weren't over the top today. Their behaviours were all enjoyable, they were all happy, very little arguing (well there is one voice that grated on my nerves a lot throughout the day but it lessened as the day wore on). I handed out my reworded newsletters to my parents. I believe that I made the points that I wanted to make and was sensitive in the way I worded things. It always feels good to open the lines of communication and my newsletters have always worked that magic for me.
The weights have been lifted off my shoulders. I feel light enough to carry the weight that I still have to carry and work on lessening the load a little bit more tomorrow.
It was a very good day.
Wow!
I finished a few tasks that were on my mental to-do list. I had all of my kids picked up and gone by 5:40 tonight. I didn't have any work to do tonight. And it felt fantastic.
A sense of glee was deep inside of me as I cherished the moments of the evening. As Kurt and I ran an errand, we had an enjoyable conversation (and he thinks I'm doing a pretty good job as a mom). We weren't racing against the clock, but I was glad that we weren't gone long.
I sat and watched Dancing With the Stars with our cat. I went to him, picked him up and lavished attention on him before he demanded it. He rewarded me with his deepest, most heartfelt purr.
I puttered through the evening with nothing on my agenda. I just savored the moments, knowing that I had a good day behind me.
A good day. The kids weren't over the top today. Their behaviours were all enjoyable, they were all happy, very little arguing (well there is one voice that grated on my nerves a lot throughout the day but it lessened as the day wore on). I handed out my reworded newsletters to my parents. I believe that I made the points that I wanted to make and was sensitive in the way I worded things. It always feels good to open the lines of communication and my newsletters have always worked that magic for me.
The weights have been lifted off my shoulders. I feel light enough to carry the weight that I still have to carry and work on lessening the load a little bit more tomorrow.
It was a very good day.
Overloaded
The exhaustion that has seeped into my 'being' is telling. Even when I went through the overloaded moments when I was putting together my mom's family's history book, they passed. I took a day or two to let myself recoup and I was off and running again.
It feels different this time. My full daycare load plus my second job are filling my days and nights. My weekends aren't my own, because I feel like I'm on call for this second job (that is simply the way I feel - that has a workable solution). I now have 2 consecutive days off, but I'm not putting them to the best use.
I looked back at the last week of hours that I put in, at this 'bookkeeping' job. I worked every evening until 9 or 9:30 except 2. And those 2 evenings, I had my own plans. I felt guilty for taking a 'crash and burn' day on Saturday, but on looking back at my week I see why I needed it.
The daycare world is taxing me more than it needs to be. It is my reaction to the days that is wearing me down. I sat down and started writing up a newsletter to the parents yesterday. I thought it was at the stage to print off and hand out when divine intervention stepped in and made me take a moment to pause.
My (almost) new printer has stopped printing some colors. I thought if I changed the ink cartridges that would work, but the problem was still happening after that. So I spent an hour 'chatting' online with one of the service reps and then to someone on the phone when he realized that I needed to get a replacement part (covered by warranty).
So the newsletter didn't go out. All I can say is "Whew!"
I deleted several paragraphs that were written with a little too much emotion. But even after I did that, there was a feeling of desperation in my writing. I needed to take that day to cool off and reword things.
The printer could have printed off the newsletter as it was. But the timing of my service call to the printer company stopped the press. I am so relieved.
Writing my feelings has always been an outlet for me. Sometimes those words written in the heat of the moment are thoughts best kept to myself. I don't always put the brakes on sending, printing or voicing my words in time.
I'm grateful for a printer problem that halted me in my tracks yesterday. I'm in a much better place this morning to put words to paper that are worthy of sharing ...
It feels different this time. My full daycare load plus my second job are filling my days and nights. My weekends aren't my own, because I feel like I'm on call for this second job (that is simply the way I feel - that has a workable solution). I now have 2 consecutive days off, but I'm not putting them to the best use.
I looked back at the last week of hours that I put in, at this 'bookkeeping' job. I worked every evening until 9 or 9:30 except 2. And those 2 evenings, I had my own plans. I felt guilty for taking a 'crash and burn' day on Saturday, but on looking back at my week I see why I needed it.
The daycare world is taxing me more than it needs to be. It is my reaction to the days that is wearing me down. I sat down and started writing up a newsletter to the parents yesterday. I thought it was at the stage to print off and hand out when divine intervention stepped in and made me take a moment to pause.
My (almost) new printer has stopped printing some colors. I thought if I changed the ink cartridges that would work, but the problem was still happening after that. So I spent an hour 'chatting' online with one of the service reps and then to someone on the phone when he realized that I needed to get a replacement part (covered by warranty).
So the newsletter didn't go out. All I can say is "Whew!"
I deleted several paragraphs that were written with a little too much emotion. But even after I did that, there was a feeling of desperation in my writing. I needed to take that day to cool off and reword things.
The printer could have printed off the newsletter as it was. But the timing of my service call to the printer company stopped the press. I am so relieved.
Writing my feelings has always been an outlet for me. Sometimes those words written in the heat of the moment are thoughts best kept to myself. I don't always put the brakes on sending, printing or voicing my words in time.
I'm grateful for a printer problem that halted me in my tracks yesterday. I'm in a much better place this morning to put words to paper that are worthy of sharing ...
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
The Wisdom to Know the Difference
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change ...
My unpredictable daycare schedule, the colds and flus that the kids bring through the door, other people's behaviour, the whims of children ...
The courage to change the things I can ...
Writing a newsletter to my parents to confront some of the issues that keep arising, find a way to prevent my second job from putting my weekends into limbo, start one Christmas project, smile ....
And the wisdom to know the difference.
‘I believe that all wisdom consists in caring immensely for a few right things, and not caring a straw about the rest.’
— John Buchan
Another quote I found on wisdom that made me smile and think:
‘We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it—and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again—and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.’
— Mark Twain
My unpredictable daycare schedule, the colds and flus that the kids bring through the door, other people's behaviour, the whims of children ...
The courage to change the things I can ...
Writing a newsletter to my parents to confront some of the issues that keep arising, find a way to prevent my second job from putting my weekends into limbo, start one Christmas project, smile ....
And the wisdom to know the difference.
‘I believe that all wisdom consists in caring immensely for a few right things, and not caring a straw about the rest.’
— John Buchan
Another quote I found on wisdom that made me smile and think:
‘We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it—and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit on a hot stove lid again—and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.’
— Mark Twain
Monday, November 3, 2008
Another Coincidence?
8 days after the small miracle of hearing from my friend (who I haven't crossed paths with, in decades) right after I was thinking of her, I received another surprise email this morning.
I heard from my uncle, who I had just been thinking of sending an email to. We have been exchanging the odd email lately, so it isn't quite the miracle that it was to hear from my friend last week. But he just happened to forward me some pictures of his weekend adventure on the very same day that I was thinking about him.
How often does this happen that we don't realize? Wouldn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside to think that as you were thinking of someone ... that they were thinking of you at the same time? I have a feeling that our connection on this place called earth is far beyond the obvious.
I love the connection that email, long distance phone bundles and the many modes of communication that are available to keep people 'close', no matter how far apart they are. But this magical connection that I've been on the receiving end, these past few weeks makes me believe that there is a 'wireless' connection among us. We just have to tune into it.
I heard from my uncle, who I had just been thinking of sending an email to. We have been exchanging the odd email lately, so it isn't quite the miracle that it was to hear from my friend last week. But he just happened to forward me some pictures of his weekend adventure on the very same day that I was thinking about him.
How often does this happen that we don't realize? Wouldn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside to think that as you were thinking of someone ... that they were thinking of you at the same time? I have a feeling that our connection on this place called earth is far beyond the obvious.
I love the connection that email, long distance phone bundles and the many modes of communication that are available to keep people 'close', no matter how far apart they are. But this magical connection that I've been on the receiving end, these past few weeks makes me believe that there is a 'wireless' connection among us. We just have to tune into it.
So Much To Do ...
So little time ...
The transition back into my full babysitting load hasn't been without its challenges. Not only are my days noisier, more hectic and unpredictable, but I can't squeeze in extra work or errands during the day like I had the luxury of doing during my 'work slow down time'. The extra demands on my after hours time and the extra demands on my patience levels have taken the words out of my fingertips as I readjust to this new equilibrium. It's far easier to slow down the pace of life than to pick it up where you last left off.
The direct comparison as to how I felt about my days when I had fewer kids around has me reexamining where I want to go from here.
I believe I'm a far better person when I am less taxed by the kids. I have 9 different families that I work for and lately I feel like I am at their mercy. Last minute changes to the day and my budget have run rampant in the 2 weeks that I've been back to my full babysitting load.
I took on a bookkeeping type of job a few months ago. And I love it. I can do it from home, at the time and pace of my choosing. And I get paid for it! It is wonderful. As the last few weeks were taking their toll, I made it known to the lady I work for that I would be happy to work more for her and lessen my kid-load. Then I had an accountant friend over on the weekend and repeated my story. She perked up and asked if I'd be interested in taking on more work. I told her that I don't have a formal education in accounting, but I have a head for numbers, I love a challenge and I'm up to the task. She said that she often has people asking if she knows someone who could help them (basically doing what I am doing for this other company) and asked if I would like her to pass along my name. YES!!!
Nothing will happen over night, but my daycare load won't dwindle over night either. I have 3 families that will be on maternity leave over the course of the next 6 to 7 months. 6 or 7 months to try and focus on a new direction.
I have opened myself to the possibilities that are out there. I have made my wishes known ... I believe this could work.
I feel the tides changing. I'm willing to go where the flow takes me ...
The transition back into my full babysitting load hasn't been without its challenges. Not only are my days noisier, more hectic and unpredictable, but I can't squeeze in extra work or errands during the day like I had the luxury of doing during my 'work slow down time'. The extra demands on my after hours time and the extra demands on my patience levels have taken the words out of my fingertips as I readjust to this new equilibrium. It's far easier to slow down the pace of life than to pick it up where you last left off.
The direct comparison as to how I felt about my days when I had fewer kids around has me reexamining where I want to go from here.
I believe I'm a far better person when I am less taxed by the kids. I have 9 different families that I work for and lately I feel like I am at their mercy. Last minute changes to the day and my budget have run rampant in the 2 weeks that I've been back to my full babysitting load.
I took on a bookkeeping type of job a few months ago. And I love it. I can do it from home, at the time and pace of my choosing. And I get paid for it! It is wonderful. As the last few weeks were taking their toll, I made it known to the lady I work for that I would be happy to work more for her and lessen my kid-load. Then I had an accountant friend over on the weekend and repeated my story. She perked up and asked if I'd be interested in taking on more work. I told her that I don't have a formal education in accounting, but I have a head for numbers, I love a challenge and I'm up to the task. She said that she often has people asking if she knows someone who could help them (basically doing what I am doing for this other company) and asked if I would like her to pass along my name. YES!!!
Nothing will happen over night, but my daycare load won't dwindle over night either. I have 3 families that will be on maternity leave over the course of the next 6 to 7 months. 6 or 7 months to try and focus on a new direction.
I have opened myself to the possibilities that are out there. I have made my wishes known ... I believe this could work.
I feel the tides changing. I'm willing to go where the flow takes me ...
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