When the going gets tough ... the tough go to McDonald's!!
Yes, I finally succumbed to my love of take-out. Not that I have been 100% take-out-free this past month (I've had some pizza and a few restaurant meals), but McDonald's and I go way back.
One of my old sayings is "All roads lead to McDonald's". It doesn't matter where I go (and I don't go far), I am thrilled when I find a McDonald's en route or at my destination.
Grabbing McDonald's-to-go and noshing on it in a hotel room (and trust me, the hotels aren't usually too far from home) creates a new taste sensation. I love it.
We've grabbed McDonald's-to-go and ate it at a park or by the river. Mmmmm. Tasty.
I have had bad days where the McDonald's theme "You deserve a break today" is humming in the background of my day. And I go.
Yesterday wasn't a bad day. I was simply feeling overloaded and wanted someone to take care of the cooking for me. I had to leave the house to run an errand anyway ... and like I always say, "All roads lead to McDonald's". So I followed that yellow brick road.
I had a chicken snack wrap and a medium order of fries. 680 of the best calories that I have consumed in an eternity (since I started budgeting my calories anyway). I topped that up with a hefty bowl of ice cream, sprinkled with mini chocolate chips. And do you know what?? For the first time in (quite possibly) a month, I was satisfied. I ate that and I stopped eating.
I finally scratched that itch! Now ... maybe I can get back to the game plan that I was on before. I need to find a balance to the food consumption addiction that I have. Denying myself isn't the answer. That is a sure fire way to create a jag of over eating.
I've been told more than once, that a person should allow themselves to have a day where they allow themselves to eat what they are craving. Not to go overboard - but just to satisfy that hunger so that it doesn't become all consuming. After my McDonald's fix last night, I would have to whole heartedly agree.
I deserved that break yesterday. And I am going to give myself little breaks as I need them. The binge factor is one of my biggest obstacles. If I can find a way to curb that insatiable binge eating, I will be on a better path.
This dieting isn't just about math after all. But maybe ... I just need a better formula.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Readin' Ritin' 'n Rithmetic (and more)
That about sums up what is on my agenda this weekend.
Reading? Last night, when I realized the obligations that were piling up on me with only 48 hours to fulfill them ... I decided to take a night off to read. It was fantastic (what was not so great was the hand-to-mouth-disease that accompanied it ... I ate nonstop for almost 3 hours). So much to eat ... too much time.
Ritin'? I must grab my little recorder and transcribe those taped conversations at every free moment. I want to update my blogs. I have emails to send. So much to write ... so little time.
Ritmetic? I have book keeping work coming out my ears. She dropped it off, telling me to work at my own pace. But when I see such a pile of work, I first ... panic. Overwhelmed and overloaded. Then ... I work. I must get a momentum going that reduces that pile this weekend. So much work ... where will I find time?
And more? I have a lawn to mow, a 'date' with Dale, a birthday party to attend and exercise is a priority this weekend (I had a very, very, very bad food consumption week). There is not enough time!
I have a few spare moments before Dale is due to arrive ... I wonder if I have time to update another blog. "I've still got time" (My all time favorite Disney quote from 'The Incredibles')
Gotta run before I'm out of time!
Reading? Last night, when I realized the obligations that were piling up on me with only 48 hours to fulfill them ... I decided to take a night off to read. It was fantastic (what was not so great was the hand-to-mouth-disease that accompanied it ... I ate nonstop for almost 3 hours). So much to eat ... too much time.
Ritin'? I must grab my little recorder and transcribe those taped conversations at every free moment. I want to update my blogs. I have emails to send. So much to write ... so little time.
Ritmetic? I have book keeping work coming out my ears. She dropped it off, telling me to work at my own pace. But when I see such a pile of work, I first ... panic. Overwhelmed and overloaded. Then ... I work. I must get a momentum going that reduces that pile this weekend. So much work ... where will I find time?
And more? I have a lawn to mow, a 'date' with Dale, a birthday party to attend and exercise is a priority this weekend (I had a very, very, very bad food consumption week). There is not enough time!
I have a few spare moments before Dale is due to arrive ... I wonder if I have time to update another blog. "I've still got time" (My all time favorite Disney quote from 'The Incredibles')
Gotta run before I'm out of time!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Parenting
I have to admit that I've had it pretty easy in the parenting department lately. Having 2 adult children certainly helps.
That leaves 'Son #3'. He has been an easy guy to raise. He has grown up in a house full of children, hearing my voice govern the masses who have grown up in our home. It seems rare that I have had to address him on minor issues because he has simply learned with the other kids in my care. He idolizes 'Son #2' and I can see him aspiring to be like him in many ways. We've had a good run these past 11 years.
So when the vice principal of the school called me yesterday afternoon and told me of the infraction that happened after school, I was taken completely off guard. In a word, I was disappointed. A second word to describe my emotions would be surprised.
I've had 15 hours to ponder the crime and its aftermath and I must admit that I'm glad we are dealing with a relatively minor infraction. There are many lessons in peer pressure that this incident gives us a chance to address before the outcome becomes much more serious.
He was given a writing assignment to explain the who/what/why of the incident; what he should have done differently; and how he can get the staff to trust him again. The teacher invited me to add onto this assignment and I asked him to write about what he would do if he was the parent or the teacher who was dealing with this behaviour.
He couldn't make eye contact with me after this incident and the words were stuck in his throat. But he could write.
He wrote about what he did, how it was no one's fault but his own, he had no explanation as to why he did it. The best he could come up with was "... I was just being stupid, I guess ..."
He wrote that he felt that he deserves whatever punishment he gets. When he doled out the punishment that he thought the school and I should give him, he was much harder on himself than I was prepared to be.
I commented on what I agreed with and remained mum on the extra punishments he inflicted on himself. We'll leave that for discussion.
I talked to him about the dangers of not making good decisions when you are with friends. When one takes this 'group mentality' a step further, it is what leads into vandalism, theft, bullying (or standing by and accepting a bully's behaviour) and the list goes on.
In the light of day, I'm relieved that this was a cheap lesson. He took responsibility for his actions and told the truth even under duress. I am incredibly relieved to hear his conscience speak loudly through what he wrote.
I have had pivotal moments like this with each of my sons that preceded this.
Son #1 wasn't a talker, so when we had a crisis moment and he wouldn't speak to me I was at a loss as what to do. Simply put ... I lost it. I made bad parenting choices that (I believe) changed the course of our mother/son relationship. I wish that I had had the insight to find a way for him to communicate his thoughts in a different way.
Son #2 was a talker. Granted, there were many moments that weren't fun to endure but we cleared the air. We knew where we stood with each other and the end result was a good one. We talk through everything to this day.
I've been working on my parenting career for almost 31 years now. And I'm still learning.
That leaves 'Son #3'. He has been an easy guy to raise. He has grown up in a house full of children, hearing my voice govern the masses who have grown up in our home. It seems rare that I have had to address him on minor issues because he has simply learned with the other kids in my care. He idolizes 'Son #2' and I can see him aspiring to be like him in many ways. We've had a good run these past 11 years.
So when the vice principal of the school called me yesterday afternoon and told me of the infraction that happened after school, I was taken completely off guard. In a word, I was disappointed. A second word to describe my emotions would be surprised.
I've had 15 hours to ponder the crime and its aftermath and I must admit that I'm glad we are dealing with a relatively minor infraction. There are many lessons in peer pressure that this incident gives us a chance to address before the outcome becomes much more serious.
He was given a writing assignment to explain the who/what/why of the incident; what he should have done differently; and how he can get the staff to trust him again. The teacher invited me to add onto this assignment and I asked him to write about what he would do if he was the parent or the teacher who was dealing with this behaviour.
He couldn't make eye contact with me after this incident and the words were stuck in his throat. But he could write.
He wrote about what he did, how it was no one's fault but his own, he had no explanation as to why he did it. The best he could come up with was "... I was just being stupid, I guess ..."
He wrote that he felt that he deserves whatever punishment he gets. When he doled out the punishment that he thought the school and I should give him, he was much harder on himself than I was prepared to be.
I commented on what I agreed with and remained mum on the extra punishments he inflicted on himself. We'll leave that for discussion.
I talked to him about the dangers of not making good decisions when you are with friends. When one takes this 'group mentality' a step further, it is what leads into vandalism, theft, bullying (or standing by and accepting a bully's behaviour) and the list goes on.
In the light of day, I'm relieved that this was a cheap lesson. He took responsibility for his actions and told the truth even under duress. I am incredibly relieved to hear his conscience speak loudly through what he wrote.
I have had pivotal moments like this with each of my sons that preceded this.
Son #1 wasn't a talker, so when we had a crisis moment and he wouldn't speak to me I was at a loss as what to do. Simply put ... I lost it. I made bad parenting choices that (I believe) changed the course of our mother/son relationship. I wish that I had had the insight to find a way for him to communicate his thoughts in a different way.
Son #2 was a talker. Granted, there were many moments that weren't fun to endure but we cleared the air. We knew where we stood with each other and the end result was a good one. We talk through everything to this day.
I've been working on my parenting career for almost 31 years now. And I'm still learning.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Turning Over a New Leaf
Yesterday was a good one. I made myself some goals at the onset of the day and accomplished most of what I set out to do.
I'm a little bit weary this morning but fueled by that feeling of accomplishment, I jumped out of bed without hitting the snooze button. I may not have hit the ground running but I am definitely moving in the direction of having another day with purpose.
As I opened the blinds to let in the new day, I was thrilled that my blinds no longer have their winter coat of 'fur' on them. As I looked out the window, I savored the sunshine that came through my windows that are no longer 'filtered' with dirt and grime.
It is a bright and shiny brand new day!
I'm a little bit weary this morning but fueled by that feeling of accomplishment, I jumped out of bed without hitting the snooze button. I may not have hit the ground running but I am definitely moving in the direction of having another day with purpose.
As I opened the blinds to let in the new day, I was thrilled that my blinds no longer have their winter coat of 'fur' on them. As I looked out the window, I savored the sunshine that came through my windows that are no longer 'filtered' with dirt and grime.
It is a bright and shiny brand new day!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Changing the Outcome of the Day
I don't know what my problem is. In fact, I don't think I have a problem. I read about everyone else's lives and what they are facing and I know for a fact that I have it good. Very, very good. But I'm in a bad rut this week.
So I've decided to try and change the way this day plays out. I am taking a 'weekend break' first thing in the morning (in lieu of exercising) and putting myself first. Time to savor that second and third cup of coffee; time to send an email; time to blog. Just time ... before my day gets off and running.
My eating patterns have been over the top the past few days.
Last night was the worst. I couldn't help myself. I stopped and bought a bag of chips on my way home from dancing. I was an anonymous shopper in a different grocery store than I usually shop in. I thought I could get away with my 'crime' (only junk food in my grocery bag) unnoticed. Not so. I ran into the instructors from the dance studio as I left with my goods (darn those see through grocery bags). I stopped in my tracks and confessed. They fessed up too - they were going in to buy all sorts of healthy foods.
The only thing that saved me was that I bought 'kettle cooked' potato chips (trying to be healthy, you know). They were gross. That didn't stop me from eating half of the bag. But a few hours after I tucked them away for the next emergency, I ceremoniously threw them in the garbage. I don't need them! No more bad food choice options at my fingertips.
In order to accomplish that goal (no bad food choices in the house), I ate the rest of them. I have found that the taste of something sweet on my tongue releases more sugar cravings than I can bear. So I ate every last one of the 45 calorie fudgicles that I had in the house. I believe that there were at least 5 of them (I didn't count, but I could count the wrappers in the garbage this morning). These low cal treats are divine. I have no idea how they shaved the calorie count down to 45 without trading off the flavor sensation that felt purely sinful.
I have an empty agenda tonight. This spells disaster in my world. My hand to mouth disease (called over eating) is insatiable. The act of putting food in my mouth and devouring the flavors, textures and feeling of filling the void within is a purely addictive act. It has absolutely nothing to do with hunger. So ... my plan for tonight is to exercise instead of eat.
This morning, I am filling my quiet time nurturing myself. Taking time out to do what I enjoy, before my house fills up with kids. I have caught myself turning to food every time I face a 'moment' with the kids. Every time I hear my name called in a 4 syllable lilt "Col ee ee een", I physically cringe. "Now what?" is my immediate thought. Then I shovel something into my mouth. My day job is getting to me.
I have a small amount of little things piling up in my mind (those 'impossible things' that make me feel overwhelmed when I ignore them ... and invincible when I face up to them). So I must confront them in the down moments of my day.
My to-do list for today:
Give myself the gift of time this morning.
Shave one small impossible thing off of my worry list during the day.
Spend as much time as possible outside.
Eat only healthy foods.
Exercise tonight.
And this ... shall change the outcome of my day!
So I've decided to try and change the way this day plays out. I am taking a 'weekend break' first thing in the morning (in lieu of exercising) and putting myself first. Time to savor that second and third cup of coffee; time to send an email; time to blog. Just time ... before my day gets off and running.
My eating patterns have been over the top the past few days.
Last night was the worst. I couldn't help myself. I stopped and bought a bag of chips on my way home from dancing. I was an anonymous shopper in a different grocery store than I usually shop in. I thought I could get away with my 'crime' (only junk food in my grocery bag) unnoticed. Not so. I ran into the instructors from the dance studio as I left with my goods (darn those see through grocery bags). I stopped in my tracks and confessed. They fessed up too - they were going in to buy all sorts of healthy foods.
The only thing that saved me was that I bought 'kettle cooked' potato chips (trying to be healthy, you know). They were gross. That didn't stop me from eating half of the bag. But a few hours after I tucked them away for the next emergency, I ceremoniously threw them in the garbage. I don't need them! No more bad food choice options at my fingertips.
In order to accomplish that goal (no bad food choices in the house), I ate the rest of them. I have found that the taste of something sweet on my tongue releases more sugar cravings than I can bear. So I ate every last one of the 45 calorie fudgicles that I had in the house. I believe that there were at least 5 of them (I didn't count, but I could count the wrappers in the garbage this morning). These low cal treats are divine. I have no idea how they shaved the calorie count down to 45 without trading off the flavor sensation that felt purely sinful.
I have an empty agenda tonight. This spells disaster in my world. My hand to mouth disease (called over eating) is insatiable. The act of putting food in my mouth and devouring the flavors, textures and feeling of filling the void within is a purely addictive act. It has absolutely nothing to do with hunger. So ... my plan for tonight is to exercise instead of eat.
This morning, I am filling my quiet time nurturing myself. Taking time out to do what I enjoy, before my house fills up with kids. I have caught myself turning to food every time I face a 'moment' with the kids. Every time I hear my name called in a 4 syllable lilt "Col ee ee een", I physically cringe. "Now what?" is my immediate thought. Then I shovel something into my mouth. My day job is getting to me.
I have a small amount of little things piling up in my mind (those 'impossible things' that make me feel overwhelmed when I ignore them ... and invincible when I face up to them). So I must confront them in the down moments of my day.
My to-do list for today:
Give myself the gift of time this morning.
Shave one small impossible thing off of my worry list during the day.
Spend as much time as possible outside.
Eat only healthy foods.
Exercise tonight.
And this ... shall change the outcome of my day!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Slow Motion
As I worked my way through my exercises this morning, I simply couldn't beat or keep up to my prior scores (on the 'Wii Fit'). Last night, as I forced myself to work on the 'AE Active' (my newest Wii fitness purchase), I only achieved a 72% achievement (as compared to the 90+% that I achieved on Sunday). I think I'm tuckering out.
I ate all day yesterday. It was a terrible day for eating sensibly. I still tracked my food and calorie consumption and I vowed that today is a new day. But yesterday was a bad one.
I sat down to transcribe some of my taped conversations yesterday afternoon. I managed to get about 3 minutes written out (only 342 minutes left to go on that 'interview'), and then I fell asleep sitting up.
As I sat on the bench to oversee the kids playing outside yesterday, the waves of exhaustion were hitting me with such force that I could barely resist them. I looked at the long grass under the bench and could have cried when I realized that I must mow the grass after the kids left (when did the grass have a chance to grow with this winter-like weather we have been having??).
I am starting a good book and I just wanted to sit down and read last night. But the food cravings were distracting me. I let myself succumb to them all. I thought if I ate what my body was craving, that I would eventually stop eating. Not. I wanted potato chips in the worst way but I didn't have them in the house.
So I decided it was time to exercise. You can't eat if you are exercising. No ... but the the moment I was finished, I was still searching the cupboards trying to satisfy my cravings.
Finally, I surrendered to my need for sleep. I went to bed thinking that I was wide awake, but I don't think I lasted a page (I took my book to bed with me instead of food). I was out.
As I tried to rev myself up with exercise this morning, I thought that my body is telling me it needs a rest. I have the option of attending 1 1/2 hours of group dance classes tonight. I think that I'll follow through on that idea in lieu of my 'Wii Fit' and take the rest that the 'AE Active' program has been telling me to take for the past 2 days.
I shall go with the flow of the day ... take the kids for a walk ... sit outside and breathe some fresh air ... dance ... and eat reasonably. I'm going to live this day in slow motion and see how that works for me.
I ate all day yesterday. It was a terrible day for eating sensibly. I still tracked my food and calorie consumption and I vowed that today is a new day. But yesterday was a bad one.
I sat down to transcribe some of my taped conversations yesterday afternoon. I managed to get about 3 minutes written out (only 342 minutes left to go on that 'interview'), and then I fell asleep sitting up.
As I sat on the bench to oversee the kids playing outside yesterday, the waves of exhaustion were hitting me with such force that I could barely resist them. I looked at the long grass under the bench and could have cried when I realized that I must mow the grass after the kids left (when did the grass have a chance to grow with this winter-like weather we have been having??).
I am starting a good book and I just wanted to sit down and read last night. But the food cravings were distracting me. I let myself succumb to them all. I thought if I ate what my body was craving, that I would eventually stop eating. Not. I wanted potato chips in the worst way but I didn't have them in the house.
So I decided it was time to exercise. You can't eat if you are exercising. No ... but the the moment I was finished, I was still searching the cupboards trying to satisfy my cravings.
Finally, I surrendered to my need for sleep. I went to bed thinking that I was wide awake, but I don't think I lasted a page (I took my book to bed with me instead of food). I was out.
As I tried to rev myself up with exercise this morning, I thought that my body is telling me it needs a rest. I have the option of attending 1 1/2 hours of group dance classes tonight. I think that I'll follow through on that idea in lieu of my 'Wii Fit' and take the rest that the 'AE Active' program has been telling me to take for the past 2 days.
I shall go with the flow of the day ... take the kids for a walk ... sit outside and breathe some fresh air ... dance ... and eat reasonably. I'm going to live this day in slow motion and see how that works for me.
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