Courage

A quote from the article "66 Ways to Build Courage", by Christine Kane:

"Because there’s a deeper level of courage. It makes you stronger with each move you make. It makes you fall in love with yourself. It makes you fall in love with your life. That’s because, at its core, courage is about strengthening your relationship with yourself."

There has been something resonating with me since I read that paragraph. "Falling in love with your life." That is exactly what I have been falling into during this most recent leg of my journey.

I have been giddy and euphoric for no outward reason. My heart is soaring with excitement and happiness. I stand taller, I feel more confident. Yes. I feel like I'm falling in love!! With myself?? So odd to think of it that way, but it fits.

My self esteem had been taking a gradual decline over the past many years and around this time last year it was sinking to its lowest. The lowest of lows. And the scariest part of it, was that it got worse before it got better. I look back to those days and I am forever grateful that I was able to crawl out of the abyss.

This article lists 66 ways to build your courage and starting a blog was one of them. This blog has been an idea festering in my mind for a good year. I have always have had more words in me than ears to listen, and the concept of journalling intrigued me. The idea of putting myself out into cyberspace made me stop and think on it (for about a year). But now that I'm "here", I'm in love!!

There were so many things that got me from 'there' to 'here'. Getting out of a relationship that was toxic to me was probably what saved me, although it certainly didn't feel like it at the time.

When I had hit the bottom of the pit, I knew that I had to do something. I had to act. I had to take one step forward. I sent out an ''SOS'' email to a group of friends. We originally tagged ourself with the name "The Optimist Group". I don't know if they really knew how desperate I was when I put myself out there on a limb and asked for a friend. But they came through like a team of princes (or princesses) on their white stallions and saved me from myself.

All it really took to start the tide of change was to know that I wasn't alone. What was a miracle, was the way in each individual held a small piece of the puzzle. Words I needed to hear and absorb to start back to the land of the "living". As little as one small statement, to start the process of turning my thoughts around.

I cannot say this enough!!! Surround yourself with people who make you feel good! People who make you laugh, make you think, that you care about and that care about you. I often said that my exhusband mirrored he last person that he talked to. ''If only'' (I lived in the world of ''ifs'' a lot back then), he could only be around good people, he could have been great.

Those thoughts are about 25 years old or more I can't believe that I had that tidbit of knowing way back then.

What do the people in your life reflect back to you?

P.S. If anyone is interested in this article on courage, please let me know and I'll pass it along. As with a good movie, some things are meant to be shared!