Things Are Not Always as They Seem

How many times is a person completely taken aback when what appears to be a model marriage doesn't make it? How many times do you realize yourself, that 'no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors'? ....

I received a 12 page letter from an old friend yesterday. There had been some hints that things weren't going so perfectly the last few times she had written. But I wasn't prepared for what I read.

My heart sank as I read her words. She is a person totally dedicated to her marriage and family. She has put her family first and invested almost 25 years in a marriage that she was determined ''not going to end up like just another statistic''.

She is my age and looking at a future that she didn't plan on. She has been a full time mom and dabbled in part time work (that is increasing in hours as her kids get older). Her career was her family. And now here she is, wondering how she can support herself...

It is impossible to live your life planning on all the 'what ifs' that life can throw at you. I truly believe that investing your time and energy on your children is a win-win situation. But ... what if ... after 25 years, you are suddenly facing a whole new world?

It amazes me how things do tend to work out. Even when one is dealt the harshest blows, after all is said and done you usually end up in a much better place than where you started. In my experience, the harder the fall, the better the (eventual) outcome. Impossible to believe at the time, when 'life as you know it' is taking a 180 degree turn.

Having a family that believes in you and supports you is not something everyone has. But if you have it ... cherish and nurture it! Friends. At a time when your 'world' is upside down, a friend at your side to lend an ear or a hand or whatever 'limb' is needed, is a blessing. Hold on tight to your friends!

I believe my friend will be okay after she gets through the immediate future. She is emotionally beaten to the ground, but despite that, I hear her voice coming through. She believes in herself. She knows that she deserves to be treated with respect. She will be okay.

Don't ever be afraid to reach out to a friend. Not so long ago I was the one who took that daring risk of baring my heart and soul to my friends. This time, it is a friend from my past that is reaching out to me. And I am here. It has been decades since we sat down and visited, but thankfully we still keep in touch. In fact her letter to me started with "Thank you for writing to me. I was hoping you wouldn't give up on me...".

I often wonder about the letters I write, to friends I don't hear from any more. I wonder if they have moved on and really don't care anymore? But the opening sentences in my friends letter yesterday told me that there is a reason that I continue to hold onto those friends of my past.

Friends are forever ....