My News as I Know It

The good news is ... my brain is not broken after all. I took a 'brain cognitive function test' yesterday and the result showed my brain performed above the norm for my age.

The bad news is ... the irritating habit of 'not remembering' is possibly related to menopause. I am not one to blame hormones for things I think I should be able to control myself. But when it comes to depression, mood swings and bad memory? Hormones seem like a good scapegoat. I'll take it for now.

The sad news is ... I took my broken brain with me into the day yesterday and we did not fare well. I was hyper-sensitive to the world, I couldn't concentrate, I spilled things (all day), I couldn't organize my thoughts nor my day and all-in-all? I didn't do well. I'd give myself a 'Fail' for Wednesday.

The better news is ... today is a new day. I stepped into the morning with no must-do-items on my early morning agenda. I've got a brand new mind-set and agenda for how-to-navigate my way through today.

The optimistic news is ... I forecast a change in my mood. Because that is one thing I have the power to control. I did not like the person-I-was yesterday and I plan to leave that girl behind in the dust. Onward!!

The best news is ... I was given another chance this morning. The good thing about a bad day is we get a chance for a do-over. Some days are worse than others. Yesterday would not even cause a blip on the Bad-Day-Richter-Scale. But my mood affected all those who touched my world. And that rates as an '8' on the wrong end of the scale in my books.

No news is good news. So I hope for a 'no news' kind of day. I just want to slide gently into tomorrow without upsetting the balance of what-works-best.

P.S. This News Report idea was stolen inspired by an email I received from My Brother yesterday. Thanks, Bro! I hope your day rates 'better than the day before' for you. 

Questions

I was told, "You ask too many questions". I was in a brand new job. In an entirely new world. I didn't know anything. But I was told, "You ask too many questions". So I stopped. I asked a question only if I had turned over every other stone.

I read anything and everything I could get my hands on. I googled. I asked people in other departments. I made notes and quick reference guides so that what I couldn't remember was easily accessible.

I focused on being positive, speaking positively, being upbeat and avoiding negative circumstances and people.

I could control nothing or no one but myself. So I did everything within my power to turn the situation to make it work.

But it wasn't enough.

It wasn't even fair. Because when I asked where I went wrong, I was told, "You ask too many questions."

When you find yourself on a dead end road, you must turn around, go back to where you were. And try again.

"I'm little run down ... I could (can) beat it ... 'cause I'm feelin’ ... Invincible"

~ Lyrics from "Invincible" by Hedley

Undo Verses Redo

Life doesn't have an undo button ... but it does have a 'redo' one.

But is that a good thing? Let me think.

Having a second chance at making My Youngest's birthday more memorable was good. This week gave me many opportunities to undo last weekend's fiasco's. Starting with last Friday night.

I raced around like a crazy woman after supper last Friday. I ran and got a quick hair cut and picked up some 'cross trainers' to give my poor feet some support as I did my exercising on the basement floor.

Saturday, was our 'birthday adventure' to a hotel that didn't live up to their web site's promises. I mentioned this to one of the staff (the staff were all wonderful) and he suggested that I make a comment to that effect. So I did.

A few days later, I received a reply to my comment and a promise that they would be forwarding a voucher for a free nights lodging at any one of their hotels (with no expiry date). I was pleased with their response and the fact that the 'redo' option was available. Maybe our first experience wasn't what we expected ... but I'm all for second chances.

Then came the running shoes. They felt wonderful ... until they were put to the test. Running on the spot for 20 minutes was excruciating in every way. No shock absorbing sensation on the balls of my feet and the shoes were not wide enough across my feet. I wondered if I could still return them after putting them to the test.

The hair? It got worse every day. The hairdresser told me to come back if I had any problems as they always do. My haircuts are not always ideal at first but I rarely (if ever) take them up on their offer. But this time I thought that I would. My hair definitely needed to be thinned out and maybe some kind of style?

By the time Friday rolled around again, I was eager to try and 'undo' the mistakes of the previous Friday.

I went to the shoe store and explained that the shoes just didn't provide the comfort and support for what I needed. The clerk was very helpful and explained that I should have a different type of running shoe. They didn't have what I needed in my size. So they refunded my money. The 'undo' button in real life. The ability to return merchandise that doesn't meet your needs is a wonderful option. I would have preferred to have the running shoes that I needed but a good second choice was refunding my money. I was a satisfied customer.

Then ... came the hair. I just wanted a 'redo'. I didn't end up with the same hairdresser but the one that I got was in total agreement that the style that I ended up with, left me looking like I still needed a haircut. So she cut. And cut. And cut. Granted, I did tell her that I didn't mind if I ended up a little shorter and I was looking for a 'twispy' look that could enhance the natural curl that I have.

Long story short ... there is no 'undoing' my new haircut. It's not at all what I hoped for, she cut off all of the locks that I had painstakingly grew out ... and I'm back to where I was a year ago. Only I don't even like the style that I'm starting out with. Only time will give me the option of redoing what she has done.

Oh well. 3 out of 4 redo/undo options went well (if I count the second chance I got on My Youngest's birthday). That's really not bad odds, all things considered.

There are often chances to undo or redo things in life. If you have the option and don't take it ... there is no one to blame for it but yourself. If you have the option and you do take it ... it can still end up better/worse/or much the same. But at least you know that you tried.

There are often times when only time can undo a bad decision (or haircut). One never knows ... sometimes you need that bad 'haircut' in life to set you off in a new direction. When the undo option doesn't work, maybe there is a purpose to it after all (in the mean time, I'm grateful that I don't have a lot of mirrors in the house).

Second Chances

It was a Happy Birthday after all.

Yes ... it was My Youngest's birthday yesterday and it gave us a second chance to make his 11th birthday (if not one of the best), a better memory.

It's all in the small stuff. Really.

As I crawled out of bed and faced the day yesterday, it was My Youngest's birthday request that I take the night off of 'everything', that got me going. If I had to have an uncommitted evening, I had to get cracking.

I was so busy getting to the day, that My Youngest was up about an hour before I wished him a Happy Birthday. But when I finally did, we had a little chuckle about it when he said "Finally ... you remembered!" I immediately responded, "But you weren't even born yet."

He got a birthday card and gift from one of the parents I babysit for before he went to school ... and his birthday was starting off rather nicely.

I ordered a small cake for his birthday which he didn't know about and it hit me yesterday morning that I should take it to school and surprise him with it (I couldn't take it, because I had 7 kids underfoot all morning but one of my parents dropped it off for me after she left here). It's unfortunate that 20 people shared this small cake ... but it's the thought that counts, right?

And it counted. My Youngest couldn't believe it when the cake arrived for him. I never, ever do things like that. So it wasn't a surprise party ... but it was a surprise. Mission accomplished - I believe I made my boy happy on his birthday.

The evening was perfect. We did nothing extraordinary - we went to Toys 'R Us as per his birthday request (and found an overpriced set of Lego which we ended up returning an hour later, when we found it over $10.00 cheaper in Walmart), we ate at the mall and we quite simply just spent a leisurely evening not running my errands as I let My Youngest call the shots. That ... was the best gift of all (I believe I received as much or more than I gave, when I simply gave him my time).

My gift to him this year were 9 'Gift Coupons'. Basically gifts of time - a bike ride and an ice cream; pizza and a movie; one hour of my uninterrupted time; take a friend to the lake for a day; an activity of his choice; a bike ride and a slurpee; another ''Take the Night Off" (and spend it with him); a "Let's Go Shopping" (with a dollar limit but no restriction as to what he can spend it on); and lastly a 'Birthday Movie' which I will put together with the memories that we have of this 11th Birthday Gone Awry (but salvaged, when given a second chance).

Things Are Not Always as They Seem

How many times is a person completely taken aback when what appears to be a model marriage doesn't make it? How many times do you realize yourself, that 'no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors'? ....

I received a 12 page letter from an old friend yesterday. There had been some hints that things weren't going so perfectly the last few times she had written. But I wasn't prepared for what I read.

My heart sank as I read her words. She is a person totally dedicated to her marriage and family. She has put her family first and invested almost 25 years in a marriage that she was determined ''not going to end up like just another statistic''.

She is my age and looking at a future that she didn't plan on. She has been a full time mom and dabbled in part time work (that is increasing in hours as her kids get older). Her career was her family. And now here she is, wondering how she can support herself...

It is impossible to live your life planning on all the 'what ifs' that life can throw at you. I truly believe that investing your time and energy on your children is a win-win situation. But ... what if ... after 25 years, you are suddenly facing a whole new world?

It amazes me how things do tend to work out. Even when one is dealt the harshest blows, after all is said and done you usually end up in a much better place than where you started. In my experience, the harder the fall, the better the (eventual) outcome. Impossible to believe at the time, when 'life as you know it' is taking a 180 degree turn.

Having a family that believes in you and supports you is not something everyone has. But if you have it ... cherish and nurture it! Friends. At a time when your 'world' is upside down, a friend at your side to lend an ear or a hand or whatever 'limb' is needed, is a blessing. Hold on tight to your friends!

I believe my friend will be okay after she gets through the immediate future. She is emotionally beaten to the ground, but despite that, I hear her voice coming through. She believes in herself. She knows that she deserves to be treated with respect. She will be okay.

Don't ever be afraid to reach out to a friend. Not so long ago I was the one who took that daring risk of baring my heart and soul to my friends. This time, it is a friend from my past that is reaching out to me. And I am here. It has been decades since we sat down and visited, but thankfully we still keep in touch. In fact her letter to me started with "Thank you for writing to me. I was hoping you wouldn't give up on me...".

I often wonder about the letters I write, to friends I don't hear from any more. I wonder if they have moved on and really don't care anymore? But the opening sentences in my friends letter yesterday told me that there is a reason that I continue to hold onto those friends of my past.

Friends are forever ....