Life is Like an Old Pair of Shoes

I have a very hard time giving up old shoes. The shoes that fit properly. The shoes I can actually walk in, without throbbing pain as an after effect.

I have bunions and the widest part of my foot is 4 1/2 inches across. To find shoes that I can wear without being in pain is a challenge. So when I find them, I wear them well beyond the point of where they should be worn in public.

I have bought 2 new pairs of shoes these past weeks. All I did was sit in the hairdressers chair for 2 1/2 hours, while wearing my first pair of new shoes. I sat there. And when I got home, my feet were throbbing. Today I wore a second new pair. Not so bad. No blisters. No throbbing. I still couldn't wait to toss them aside as soon as I walked in the door. It makes me realize that the thing I love best about my job running a daycare from my home is the dress code. Sock feet, bare feet, sandals and old runners are the best fringe benefits of this job, by far!!

As I faced the dilemma of having to look for new shoes ... tossing out the old ... bringing in the new, I saw a parallel to the well worn ruts I enjoy living in. I love my comfortable routines. The known, the expected. I realize that I must force myself out of those ruts and make new ones from time to time. But it's hard. It's like getting those new shoes.

A smart person would realize that the new ruts and the new shoes really shouldn't hurt. It may take a while to get used to the change but it should not cause any discomfort along the way.

So why then, when it comes to 'relationships' with men, do I seem to go for the uncomfortable fit and hope that eventually they become comfortable?

This is something that I am slowly realizing. The 2 most important relationships in my life weren't a perfect fit ... they weren't even close. Right from the beginning, I was uncomfortable. I thought I would get used to the fit. I thought they could be 'broken in', perhaps ... like a pair of shoes. But no matter what ... no matter how long ... I was never completely comfortable. I may have adapted and gotten used to them. But they weren't good for me. And if I'm honest with myself, I knew it from the start.

The good friends I have have been a perfect fit - right from the beginning. No discomfort, no pain. The friendships that have lasted throughout the years, the miles, life's transitions, the good, the bad and the ugly ... have been comfortable right from the get-go.

I'm learning.

I think I need to learn how to shop more wisely. For shoes and for relationships. I think a little 'trial run' with both feet planted firmly on the ground would be a good motto in both regards.

Just because I have bunions doesn't mean I should be in pain. Just because I am older doesn't mean I should settle.

Pain and discomfort are your body's signals to warn you. Why does a person think that you should ignore that?

I need to spend a little more time 'shopping' for the perfect fit...