Attitudes on Money

I feel like I have spent my lifetime obsessing about money.

My first money-memory is saving up for a tape recorder when I was 10. I bargained with my parents to double my allowance while I saved up for it (possibly from 50 cents a week to a dollar). I believe that tape recorder was around $30. At age 11 I became obsessed with the fact that I wanted an Old English Sheepdog. I babysat dogs that summer (I was too young to babysit kids) and started my 'when-I-move-out-I-want-to-buy-a-Sheepdog-savings-plan'. From then on, it seems I can remember wondering "How can I earn money?" I babysat (children, as soon as I was old enough); I worked at an ice cream kiosk in the mall; I got married and had a baby. Then I was running the household budget. It was a different world back (1978) then but we could stretch $25 to pay for a weeks worth of groceries. Then, I was on my own and providing for myself and my son ...

Throughout my life, I have had financial goals and financial plans. In my young and frivolous years they were fun goals (though I had bought my own bedroom suite, TV and stereo by the time I was 16 years old). Through the lean years, I have stretched the budget; paid off debts; and accumulated the belongings that one's house contains. I've 'lost it all' (not quite - but almost) and rebuilt. I have borrowed money from my mom and repaid it. I've gone through spells of spending foolishly. But through it all, I've kept the budget pretty much in order and paid my way.

Fast forward to this mornings epiphany ....

I am normally completely obsessive about my summer time budget in the world of babysitting. I take 2 unpaid weeks of vacation; I have parents vacationing; my summertime pay varies and it is hard to accurately guess what I will earn over these 2 summer months. Thus ... the obsession.

For some reason, this year I was more relaxed about it. I have been saving 10% of whatever I earn over the course of most of the year. So I have a nice little nest egg accumulated to get me through summer. Then I decided to go ahead with a bedroom renovation (there goes the nest egg - whenever he finishes it up and bills me for it). I was concerned, but not 'over the top' with anxiety as I normally would be.

And then unexpected money started trickling in this week. A very generous bonus from a parent that I babysit for ... repayment for postage (for mailing out The Books) that I wasn't expecting ... a payment for The Books (that I kept forgetting about) .... Small things. But in the month of July, to have some 'purse money' come to me in the mail? Amazing.

Then I went to pay my mid month bills this morning. I will be short 2 weeks pay this month, but it is looking like I should be able to pay my way without dipping into the nest egg I have accumulated.

During all of this, I have been preparing for a garage sale. I've had several sales over the course of years ... but for some reason, the peace of mind that is coming with this particular sale is rather different. I'm sorting through the excesses of our life, closets, basement and garage. And it is cleansing. I'm keeping what is important and letting go of the rest. Not because I have to, or because I think I'm going to merge houses with someone, or because I'm moving. No other reason than to clean house.

I've had many 'money miracles' along the way. And it seems the more that I respect my money, the more 'miracles' happen. Small stuff - no lotteries or huge windfalls. But like the postage-money that showed up in this weeks mail. Small amounts that make a big difference at the right time.

My Youngest had been saving diligently for an X-Box for several months. Finally, finally money wasn't going through his hands like water. He was respecting it, saving it and careful with it. And then he found a $20 bill. I then told him my little miracle money stories - about when I am careful with my money I seem to be rewarded with small bonuses (just like him finding $20). It's quite possible that these miracles happen regardless. But if you are in spending money mode, finding a $20 bill is small stuff, because you are spending far more than that.

That said, I came home to a hot house last night. The air conditioner quit. I turned it off, cleaned the furnace filter and brushed off the outside unit to hopefully give it some more air flow. And it is working again this morning. But a service call is most likely in order. Thank goodness for that untouched nest egg ....