Your Inner Well Being

I feel a connection to people whose sense of who they are is shattered, threatened or eroded. Losing myself within a relationship has been a recurring theme in my life. Without a strong sense of myself, I let another person sway my thinking, feeling and outlook on life. I gradually let go of things that were important to my sense of well being. So gradually, that I could not see where it began or how it evolved to the place where I had sunk to. I started belittling myself and lost all sense of 'me'.

This past year has been a gradual rebuilding, renovation and strengthening within. I have stumbled upon the formula that worked for me. A 'recipe' to start to feel good, strong and happy within my thoughts - my centre of strength and well being.

I have a marvelous support system of friends and family that have cheered me along the way. It seemed every baby step that I took forward, I felt that angel at my side urging me forward. My angels were in many forms. Friends and family sum it up the best. But even when left to my own devices, there was a positive self-talk happening within my brain. I found quotes, sayings and positive thinking articles that kept moving me in a forward direction. There may have been times when I hit a plateau. But I never felt that I slid backwards once my thoughts started heading in a positive and forward direction. 'Look forward, not back' was a mantra that took some time to incorporate into my brain waves.

Those quiet thoughts within your own mind are those that can make you or break you. If your inner voice is constantly belittling or negative it is hard for your outer self to have a positive outlook on things. For myself, I find it necessary to read, absorb, listen and surround myself with positive thoughts and people. Being around negative energy drains me.

I have also found that pursuing something that excites me, drives me or that I feel passionate about puts a little bit of fire behind my actions. That driving force has kept me trying one more new thing at a time. Feeling excited about something in my life makes waking up in the morning something that I look forward to. And it's important that passion is driven by me - that no outside force is necessary to keep the fire burning within.

Writing has always been something that I fall back on in good times and in bad and everywhere in between. It releases words and energy (positive or negative) out of my thinking and out into the world. There is nothing worse than a negative thought that starts spinning out of control within your mind. It attracts negative energy like bees to honey. It is poison to a person's sense of well being. Writing has always helped me release those thoughts. If nothing else, when you put it on paper you can see the number of things that you are dealing with. When thoughts are freefalling within your mind they multiply, infect and interfere with anything positive. On paper you may see 10 negative thoughts. Within your mind, those very same 10 thoughts feel like 100.

Your passion doesn't even have to be something that the world acknowledges as a true talent. I think of my singing when I say that. I have always loved to sing. There was a time (before I saved up for my first tape recorder and heard my own voice), that I had the illusion that I was a good singer. After facing the reality that I was a mediocre singer at best (a bad singer, at worst), I learned to turn up the volume of the music higher than my own voice and I could still feel the joy of singing without the reality of my voice interfering. Then my world got busy, my house got full and the times that I could turn up my music and sing my heart out became next to nil. It was in the painting of my newly renovated bedroom that I discovered the pure joy I felt as I sang loudly and sang for hours on end. There is something joyful &/or emotional that is released from me when I sing.

What works for me doesn't necessarily work for everyone. I think the secret is to think back on your younger years and try to remember what made you feel joyful. Something that you did for you - whether or not you were good at it. Simply something that lightened the load and made you feel good or was an outlet for positive or negative energy forces within. Whether it is sports, creating something with your hands or mind, working, losing yourself in nature or whatever your inner happiness thrived on ... I think that finding that and nurturing it brings a sense of well being and grounds a person.

I look around me at times and feel that I can sense when a person that I know well, feels 'lost'. I just want to help that person find that key within themselves that can unlock the door to find that inner happiness. Happiness that nothing or no one can take away from them. I wish that the key that I found for myself worked for everyone. No one can take their own key and place it in the hands of someone who isn't ready, isn't looking or can't accept it. It has to start from within.

Every person deserves to feel good within. A feeling that cannot be taken away or dependent on anything or anybody. I believe that with my whole heart and soul.