Saved by the Bell

Man ... did I ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning! Well, I actually didn't realize that, until my first 2 children of the day arrived. The minute they demanded anything of me, I realized that I was running on empty.

I'm not coping with the kids. Not at all.

Then the phone rang. It was my sister and she asked how my morning was. I had a chance to let some of my frustrations out in words. To an adult. The moment passed.

Since the return of my full kid-load, I've had schedule changes by 3 of my families that have younger children. One comes for 9 hours a day and I have no idea whether they are coming ... or not (the dad got a new job). They used to come for 3 hours and I knew the shift rotation and knew when to expect them. The second family used to come 2 weeks of full days and 2 weeks from 2:30 until 5:00. For now, they come every single morning, full days every other day and apparently I'm guessing as to when pick-up is again (the parents are separated and things are very up in the air in their world, but they had been keeping me informed as to who was coming and when). The 3rd family is now coming to pick up their child at 5:30 (or later) ... they used to come at 4:30, 3 days a week and between 5:00 & 5:30, 2 days a week (that extra half hour to an hour at the end of the day feels endless). All together, it makes such a difference to my coping skills. Especially because all of these families have 3 yr olds and under.

I am so frustrated, I could scream. I'm afraid that is possibly at the root of my frustration level this morning. I think what is hardest of all, is the fact that I feel like I can't say a word to these families. One mom is pregnant and hasn't kept food down for 2 weeks. Her troubles are far more serious than my frustrations. The other family is doing their best. By a comment that was made when the mom was here yesterday morning, it sounds like it was a rough weekend as they are dealing with their own family crisis.

How can I let this feel like such a big thing when these families are doing their best, in a bad situation?

All I can say is ... thank goodness my sister called. Adult intervention is sometimes the best medicine.