Anticipation

I am loving this phase of being a parent to my adult children. My worries are few, the joys are simple and I feel so proud and happy over the men that my boys have become.

As each of my man-children are forging their way in the world, it is the simplest of things that makes me happy.

Although it is a wonderful thing to see your child grow financially independent of you (and it is even better when you see the decisions they make in regards to their career provide them a comfortable style of living), that is not what gives me the greatest source of happiness.

What pleases me the most, is watching each of them form new relationships which could ultimately lead to their own family one day.

They could have just as easily looked at my failed relationships and decided that was not the way they were going to live their life. I have made some choices which impacted their view on life and relationships.

Each of them are in a long term relationship. I see 'future' written in one of these relationships ... I see 'commitment' and a bit of the unknown in the other. Different ages, different stages. But it is in the stability that they have both chosen, that I see 'hope'.

I loved being part of a couple when I was in a relationship. I loved the feeling of looking towards the future and seeing that person in it. I loved the sharing and caring that comes from being with someone who knows you well ... and still loves you.

It is my hope that my children will find what I am still looking for. I hope that when they find it, they are an equal partner. I hope that they have learned to trust and be trusted. To care and feel cared for. Loving is risky business. But it's worth it.

Most of all, I hope that my children one day feel the joy that I do right now. Being a small part of their own children's adult lives and feeling such a great source of happiness from one of life's best gifts.

I sit here today, feeling full of gratitude for where life's path has taken my family. And full of anticipation of where that may lead ...