True Confessions of My Weighty Issues

Okay. It is official. This whole weight thing is truly weighing me down!

I put on a shirt tail blouse this morning (that I haven't worn since last summer) and the reason it is too small? Because my rear is so big that it bunches up at the bottom. Eeewww!!

I stepped on the scale (I haven't stepped on a scale for over a week because I thought I was becoming too obsessed) and it is official. I now weigh 20 pounds more than I did 2 years ago. I have gained 8 to 10 of those pounds in the past 8 months.

The more I think about food, the more I eat. The more I think about weight, the more I gain. The more I exercise, the more tired I am and ... I eat more. It's a vicious circle. So, the past few weeks I decided to just go with the flow of things and let the ebbs and flows of my appetite dictate my dietary consumption. Granted, I did have a few food obsessed days. I've been on an even keel for the past 5 days and haven't been driven by food. I've added 2 pounds onto my last weigh-in.

This is insane.

I checked into the Weight Watchers website this morning and I'm convincing myself to try and follow some of their guidelines. Starting a food diary and recording my calorie intake would be a good way to become more conscious about what I am putting into my mouth. Tracking my diet, exercise, goals and achievements along the way may make this less of a feeling of restricting my whims and more of a competition. Who knows? At this point, I'd just like to curl up and sleep it off. Wake me up when I'm 10 pounds lighter, please.

I bought a bike last night (my Second Son found a steal of a deal) and I must utilize it. I haven't exercised this past week and a half. I must start again! I bought pie and ice cream. Must I eat that before I start into my positive eating action plan??

I found a 'Healthy Weight Forum' that has a lot of good information on it. It has a calorie counter that calculates how many calories you can consume daily, in order to lose "X" amount of pounds. As of lunch time today, I had already consumed my maximum amount of calories to simply maintain the weight that I am at. Considering that I normally squeeze in a late afternoon snack, a full supper and some late night eating is it a wonder that I'm adding on the pounds??

One's metabolism does change as you age and gaining some weight as the years pile on is normal. I've read up on an under active thyroid condition and though it seemed like I may fit into that category, I'm starting to wonder if I was just looking for an excuse.

What has changed for me in the past 2 years? I broke off a long term relationship. Is there a correlation between the 2? I am beginning to wonder. I'm feeling the loss of that relationship in a different way lately.

I have many things to ponder as I find ways to burn off those calories and find a ways to consume a few less and turn this whole weight issue into a non issue!