How Did He Grow Up So Good?

I hit the snooze button on my alarm this morning. I dozed an extra 15 minutes ... then 20.

I wondered why My Youngest's alarm wasn't sounding. It never did go off, but within minutes I heard his drawers opening and closing. He was up and getting ready for the day. By the time I made it to the kitchen, he was making his lunch. When I went to toss his swim gear near his back pack to remind him to pack what he needed for his field trip today, his back pack was already packed up and ready to go.

It's a small thing ... but the big thing, is that 'this' is who My Youngest is! He is going to be 13 years old tomorrow and I really like the person he is growing up to be.

Yes, yes I know. I've done this twice before. I know that life (and kids) can change when you least expect it. I have no idea what is around the next corner (and please don't tell me ... I like to be surprised). But we have had 13 very good years. No matter where things go from here, I know that we have a solid foundation built. No 'big bad wolf' is going to blow this house down!

What is the difference?

Is it me? I have been a completely different mom to each and every one of my children. I look at my children and I see reflections of the person I was when I raised each of them. They are each special and unique in their own ways.

Was it because I was a stay-at-home-mom? We brought the world into our home as I ran a daycare for the first 11 years of My Youngest's life. We dealt with stealing, cheating, bullying, fighting, lying, fair play and many of the aspects of life before My Youngest walked out into the big, scary world of public education. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I believe this made a big difference.

Is it the gene pool? My Youngest is a mixture of a 'different set of genes' than his older brothers. His dad is a good guy. Solid, logical thinking and intelligent. We never argued. We may not have seen eye to eye on everything. But we never fought. I can quite honestly say that I feel that I have never argued with My Youngest. Amazing.

Is it because he has the good examples of his Adult Brothers that have set the bar? He looks to his brothers and see the men they have grown to be. His Brothers have set a very good example for him. They are good citizens, they are doing well and when life knocks them down ... they get up and keep on fighting. They treat me with respect. I believe My Youngest looks at his brothers and is simply following their good example.

Is it because our home is a home? It is (and has always been for him) a safe haven from the world. He heard me when I was extremely (over the top) upset ... once. It rocked his world. I've never done it again. But my older sons? I was an emotional basket case more times than I remember during their growing up years. Our home has evolved into the oasis it has become. My Youngest has lived in a close to idyllic world within our home. That can only be a good thing.

Is it because he has chosen good friends? Friends are so important. Feeling the need to bend and sway from what you have been taught ... just to fit in, is something that a person at any age encounters. Peer pressure. It's everywhere. As a child, it is tough because you haven't the life experience that has taught you to always remain true to yourself. I have listened to My Youngest when he talks with his friends. He treats them with respect, but he doesn't take any guff. I hear the 'daycare me' in My Youngest ...

There are many, many ingredients that are added to the mix when raising a child. As it is with baking a cake ... you can have all of the right ingredients, but if the measurements are out of whack or if the oven temperature is too high or too low or if you over or under cook it ... your cake doesn't turn out the way you intended.

I remember My Oldest being very young when I lamented to my mother-in-law "I wish he came with an instruction manual". I didn't have the recipe back then. I still don't.

There is a lot of trial and error when it comes to raising children. We do our best with what we've got and hope that simply loving them enough will help adjust the inaccuracies in that 'recipe' that is still a work in progress.

I love each and every one of my children for the individuals they are. I see who I was when I raised each and every one of them. I get them.

It's not a case of 'third time lucky' for me ... it is a matter of 'three times lucky'. Thirteen is considered an unlucky number. But with the luck I have on my side, I foresee only good things. I'll update you again in a year.

P.S. This is from last year's birthday post "A Most Wonderful Day"