Then Comes the Crash

Not a crash so much. Just a gentle ride downhill ...

My brain is so full of ideas that I am having a hard time keeping up. The fact that I have a 'tickle trunk' full of books, notes, research, maps and a multitude of ideas scribbled on small pieces of paper for our family's story is overwhelming me. Just a bit.

I have spent two days going through the masses of information within that 'trunk' and I have accomplished so little. As I transpose the handwritten notes into my Word Document, I am so easily sidetracked. I want to find maps, pictures and dates correlating to the snippet of information that I've just written. My thought is, if I am curious then others will be. So I must follow these threads.

The threads are multi faceted. Many are interwoven with many other threads and by the time I have woven them all together, they have become a multicolored strand of yarn.

One. Step. At. A. Time. I must keep taking forward steps. This is something bigger than I am right now. I must try and contain it and put it all together between the covers of a book.

I have an unwavering picture in my mind of what I hope this could become. I can envision losing myself in this project when it all starts coming together in one, cohesive unit.

I can see it. I can feel it. I could do it.

But getting from here to there? Scares my socks off. I feel the sea parting ... do I have the courage to walk through before the waters come crashing back in on me?

Most of the time? I feel invincible. I can do this. Before I go to sleep at night? I wonder. Am I up to the task? Can I truly pick myself up and transport myself into a world where I could immerse myself in this project?

Life has a way of opening doors and making anything possible. It also has a way of stopping you in your tracks. I am prepared to make some detours.

I have great faith that 'what is meant to be ... will be'. I have taken a few tentative steps out of my comfort zone to try and find a unique and personal way to turn this book into an adventure.

My Second Son is behind me 150%. He tells me "If you do this ... it will change your life." It could. That is both exhilarating and terrifying.

Thus ... my sleepless moments last night before I drifted off into another dimension. What have I done??? Is that a crash I hear? Or the sound of new wings testing their stamina?