Then There is Reality

I've been focusing a lot of energy on my hopes-and-dreams lately. And that is a good sign. Because I lose my ability to dream when my day-to-day reality is sucking all of the energy from me.

My reality feels pretty okay right now.

Work. That has been my greatest challenge. The story is long and old. Currently things are not ideal ... but they are inching their way to a better place. I see signs of things to come. When I work, I have been surrounded by positive energy and encouragement. The only thing that I could hope for, would be to work more consistently.

Friends. Oh my gosh! Friends!! I have surrounded myself with people lately. My outings usually consist of coffee &/or a meal and I am usually home within three hours or less. But it has been good for me to push myself out of the house and into the real world (among friends). Perhaps this month was a little over-the-top due to my lack of working days. Thankfully I did have a positive to outweigh the negative.

Family. Even though My Youngest quietly chided me about being out of the house so much (three nights in a row does not feel right in any capacity ... and it was after the third night that he voiced his thoughts), but we always have our nightly before-he-goes-to-sleep chat. I think he forgives me. I have had opportunities to visit with each of my older sons one-on-one. So all in all, my family life feels calm and content.

Quiet time. I suppose I have probably had too much quiet in my days. But that solitude served a purpose. It pushed me out of a thinking mode, into a doing mode. And that is a good thing. I like being alone with myself. Free falling thoughts and the ability to hear them without the chaotic background of life always brings me to a better place than I was when I started.

Finances. Into one's life, a little rain must fall. It seems inevitable that all things are not going to be ideal at the same time. So I am very grateful that the rest of my life feels in balance. It makes dealing with this one challenge a little easier to bear. I knew it was going to be a tough month. I expect this upcoming month will be more of the same. I have had a back-up contingency plan. I'm grateful that I didn't need it before. Because it is going to come in handy right about now.

In the past, this financial state of uncertainty would have taken an emotional toll. Logically, I know that things have to change. From some deep 'knowing' place, I feel that they will. In this state in between those two places, I can envision different solutions.

The logical answer would be to get a 12-month position within the school system that would bring income stability. The greater part of me hopes that I can find a way to make a 10-month position work for me. That has been my plan all along.

This is where my dream comes into play. If I can make this work. If I can find a way to earn an extra source of income doing something that I love to do ... and something that I can do anywhere ... the sky is the limit. At least as far as where I hope that I can go.

While my reality is perhaps not perfect, it is in a hopeful place. I am emotionally grounded in all things important. Family, friends, work and my state of mind are all in a very good spot. I am so well grounded, I have gained the ability to dream once again.

Each and every time I lose that ability to look into the future with hope and anticipation, I know that something in my life is dragging me down. My reality is in such a good place right now, that I have regained my wings.

Life is good.