The Fence

Our fence is in dire need of painting. Again. It is a fence that goes on forever and 'lucky for me', only one small side of the yard is shared with a neighbor. So I have the privilege of painting both sides of it. It feels like an endless task.

It has been five years since it was last stained. Five years since I painted memories into those boards that I knew I would never forget.

A long time relationship ended during the time I painted that fence. I can look at a section of the fence and remember what I was thinking and feeling as I painted. I can remember being afraid that looking at that fence would forever be a reminder of the pain that I painted through.

Five years ago I was in a deep, dark place. Five years ago I pulled myself up and through it (with a little help from my friends). Five years ago I started to rebuild my life. Five years ago I had no idea where that life transition would lead.

That transition proved to be the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The rebuilding process led me to a place that I would have never guessed possible.

A person never knows where life is going to take you. You just have to keep taking small steps in a forward direction and make slow and steady progress ... and you come through the other side. Usually in a better place.

I looked outside the window this morning and looked at the section of fence where it all began. Five years ago.

I am back to where I was five years ago. It is cyclical. The highs. The lows. Starting over. Rebuilding. I've been through the process before. I recognize the landmarks. It is different, but it is the same.

I must keep taking those small steps in a forward direction and I will come out the other side of this. Probably in a better place than when I started.

Thank goodness for the memories that I painted into our fence. They reminded me of the cycles and rhythms of life. And the fact that I always come out the other end more compassionate, a little wiser and always in a better place than where I started.

Maybe it's time to paint the fence again ...