Life's Great Equalizers

As I don my hair net to work at Job #2, I quietly chuckle to myself. Once that hair net is nestled into place it really doesn't matter what kind of hair day I am having. It looks the same no matter what.

At the end of my work day when I take the hair net off and ruffle up my hair, I smile once again. I've had a hair net on all day ... what can you expect?

Hair-net-head explains a lot. I just carry on and I really don't waste much time fretting about the state of my hair these days. It saves me a lot of wasted energy.

Yesterday, I had to wear a surgical mask when I stopped by to visit a friend in the hospital. She has a family member with her at all times and they must wear a mask as well.

I stayed and chatted with my friend's sister-in-law in the hope that my friend would wake up before I had to leave. We communicated expressively with our eyes (just like they do on 'Grey's Anatomy' during the surgery scenes where their facial expressions are covered). Once again I was quietly content beneath my mask where (like my hair underneath a hair net) it really didn't matter what I looked like underneath.

It was a silly and frivolous thought to think as my friend slept a drug-induced sleep as we visited.

Eventually my friend woke and was aware that I had come to visit. She apologized for 'being a mushroom' and not being up to visiting. I stayed until she started drifting back to sleep. I clasped her hand before I left, feeling that my words may be lost but the sense of touch may seep through to a deeper place within her.

I woke up this morning thinking of the overwhelmed state that I have been living in lately. I suppose that I should be grateful that my life is not stripped down to bare bones 'survival mode'. I have so many good things going on around me, that I am somewhat blessed to only be concerned about my state of employment.

I had said many, many times ... that if the only problems we have, are ones that money can solve we are very, very fortunate.

When one's health (or the health of a loved one) is in jeopardy, your body and mind slip into survival mode. The important things in life shift sharply into focus. Decisions seem black and white. You do what it takes to alleviate the pain, fix what is wrong and heal.

I feel a quiet longing within to find the focus that I need to alleviate the discomfort I'm feeling right now. It isn't black and white. It is many shades of gray. It is so unimportant in the whole scheme of things ... but in a world where life has a way of bringing us down to basics before we know which way we need to go, I do wonder how much farther I need to go before the answers come sharply into focus.