It Just Keeps Getting Better ...

Yesterday, I had two interviews with prospective parents who are interested in bringing their children to my (soon-to-be-reopened) daycare.

The minute they walked through the door, I was completely and totally in my element. I was relaxed, comfortable, honest and open about who I am and how I run my daycare. It was easy.

The contrast between these interviews and the job interviews that I have been on over the course of the past year are like night and day.

Job interviews were spent selling myself on my potential. I can learn ... if I am trained. I will become a valuable employee ... if I get feedback and some guidance along the way. I have the ability to figure things out ... but in the beginning, I will not be working at top speed.

Then actually succeeding and getting hired for a job proved to be yet another obstacle to overcome. Expectations to learn and to learn quickly are high. Questions (in some cases) are not encouraged. Feedback was not a given (in some cases, all I got was negative feedback).

My self esteem plummeted. No matter how much positive feedback I got as time went on, I never lost the feeling that I was completely dispensable and that I was walking a fine line between employment and unemployment.

I have never, ever felt this way before. Has the work world changed that much since I started my last new job? Have I become inept and inadequate and unable to learn? Or was it just a few isolated incidents early in this transition that knocked the wind out of my sails and I never fully recovered?

My probationary period never did begin, let alone end. I had never felt more fearful about job stability in my life. It was a stressful year.

But the moment the phone started ringing with inquiries about my 'new' daycare, I was back in my comfort zone. Talking with new parents and remembering oh-so-well how scary it was (when I was the one needing to find childcare) to entrust a relative stranger with your child made it very easy for me to talk with parents and reassure them that I completely understand that they must do what it takes to become comfortable in a new daycare arrangement.

The rapport was easy. I know that I can do this. As much as I know that there is always room for improvement, I have no doubt in my mind that I can provide the comfort, security, reliability and caring environment for this to work for all parties involved. I know this.

I can sell myself in a way I haven't sold myself in a very, very long time. Part of me wants to say that I've never been this sure of my abilities. But there was another time when I sold myself well. It was when I ran my daycare before.

Every morning I wake up and I feel even more reassured that is was the right decision for me. My confidence is building and I feel like a part of me has been revived.

With every step that I take towards my 'new beginning', it reinforces my belief that this is the road that I am meant to travel right now. It just keeps getting better ...