Grateful

“There is a simple path to follow, that appears only when you calm your mind. It leads you on a beautiful journey back to your original self; the perfect, beautiful you.”

~ Bryant McGill

I accidentally stumbled across this 'simple path' when my life got very quiet and the answers that I needed to hear came to me without effort, without soul searching and without a doubt in my mind that these were the answers that I needed to hear.

Notably, the time that this stands out the most for me was that 'sitting in a sunbeam moment' with my new son. It was the first time that I was aware of the relationship between the quieting of my mind and finding the direction that was right for me.

There are other times that I remember as an afterthought. The times when it was almost as if someone (when no one was there in a physical sense) whispered in my ear and told me a plain truth. A truth that made my choices from that moment on ... obvious and (relatively) easy.

Last year about this time, I felt the need to run away. My mom hates when I use that phrase: "run away". I guess because it sounded like I wanted to leave and never come back. The exact opposite was the truth. I knew I craved some physical distance between me and the issues at hand. I knew that I had to find a quiet place where my mind could relax and 'my answers' would reveal themselves. I suppose the more apt way to phrase it would be that I was "running toward" my answers and inevitably returning home with a game plan.

Once again this past summer, I felt the need to find that quiet place that I needed, to help me relax and find the route I needed to take. Those quiet days never did happen, but lucky for me an angel (that I call my friend) whispered in my ear (actually we were talking on the phone) and said the words that my subconscious mind was ready to hear. The rest is history.

I crave quiet moments. I am certain that this is why I get up hours before I need to go anywhere or 'be' anyone to anybody else. I need that time to regroup. Be quiet with my thoughts. And write. So many subconscious thoughts rise to the surface when I write.

When my quiet time is infringed upon, I feel like I'm drowning. I'm gasping for air and trying to reach the surface. I know what I need to regain my sense of ease ... but sometimes, it is just out of reach.

This weekend has been a blessing of quiet moments at home. I have talked to friends on the phone. I had company yesterday. But it was all easy. All from the comfort of home with lots of quiet time to renew my spirit.

I am grateful today. Grateful for the contrasts in life that help me appreciate and savor the quiet moments ... because I have so much more than the 'quiet' going on in my life. And for that too ... I am grateful.