Coasting

I am sitting here, frittering away my second morning in a row. So little to do, with so much time to do it, in is not a winning combination for me.

I have tended to minor things.

I found a program to convert my Windows Movie Maker movies into a format that can be watched on iPads/phones/etc and I 'converted' a few videos I had posted.

I sent off the survey results to the Reunion Committee for our next family reunion (planned for the summer of 2015) and an offer to assist in whatever capacity is necessary (I should have stroked off "Program Planner" - that was hard work!!!).

I sent off an email to a friend which my fingers have been dying to type for days.

I am drinking my third cup of coffee and wondering what I will do with this day sitting in front of me.

It is an empty slate. It is exactly what I wanted. It is probably exactly what I need. But I waste time like nobody's business. I frittered away the entirety of yesterday and have nothing to show for it except a very content cat ...

Yes, I sat still.

I caught up on the missed episodes of "Dancing With the Stars" and "Grey's Anatomy". Senior Cat nestled up on my outstretched legs and absorbed my body heat. After a great deal of resting, he must have needed to take a break. He was gone for a short spell then returned and came resting face-to-face with me, kneading my neck and making eye contact. I think he was saying "Thank you". Eventually, he resumed his position of snuggling up on my legs and that is where we spent the entire afternoon.

A day spent absorbing Kitty Love is a special day indeed. I could not believe the hours that Senior Cat and I sat still with each other. I think this time-of-great-doting was long overdue. He slowed me down. I think I may have purred.

I felt so guilty wasting my day. My Youngest Son told me I probably needed a day like the one I just spent. I suppose on some level, I did. On another level, I knew that I could not make a habit of this. It is so very much easier waking up in the morning when you feel like you have a defined purpose.

I am not certain what my new purpose will be but I do know that I should deal with the dust bunnies, the clutter and the dirt that has found its way into our lives and home while I was busy tending to other matters.

To think there was a day when cleaning defined me. Oh, what an empty life I once led. It was clean. But it was not fulfilling.

I'll take 'purpose' and a little dirt any day of the week. I feel like I am at sea without a compass. It is fun for a little while but I need a new destination.

It will come. Probably while I am cleaning. Thoughts will surface and I will find my way to an uncharted path that is not yet quite formed. It will come...