Use your words. Write. Move the emotions to the pre-frontal cortex of my brain and examine what these feelings are trying to teach me.
I have become quiet. I am living the dream I set out for myself but I am not as satisfied as I was when I was dreaming the dream.
I have taken my weekend oasis and turned into my life. My extraordinary weekends have become my ordinary day-to-day life. What could possibly be better than this?
I have been walking through the days in survival mode. I have worked from home or for people I know for the better part of 26 years. Leaving my home and interacting with the public in a new town and job has felt hard. I come home fully depleted but the wisest part of me that knows this is good.
I look at the life I am building here and the deepest part of me knows I am exactly where I am meant to me. But I feel empty and a little bit lost. I am not okay. I am fine. But I'm not the person I know I can be.
I have some work to do. Literally, figuratively and in more ways than I can verbalize.
I've come a long way. But I have a long way to go ...
I went for a pre-dawn walk after I wrote this, determined to make a mental note and photograph the sunrise. The sky lightened but there was no euphoric rising-of-the-sun moment.
A metaphor for life some days. The sun always rises. A new day dawns. It isn't always specatular but it happens anyway.
The overcast day was a very good day regardless. Because there was a small shift in my perspective.
Tomorrow is a new day.
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