I am amusing myself again. Twisting little things into a stories, connecting the dots and appreciating the impact of one small thing affecting so much more, spotting the absurdity of my thinking, the stories I make up in my mind and I find myself smiling at the smallest of things.
I spent time with my cousins. One on one time. Visits when you lose track of time and no one wants to be the first to admit "I have no idea what time it is", takes a peek at the clock to discover hours have past in the blink of an eye.
The common denominator with every single one of these reconnections was the comment, "I need to do this. I need to get out and see people more." Various versions of the same story. Even those who one would guess has a very busy social life were saying the same.
Life has taken a toll. Loss, health concerns, living within a smaller circle, life's continual ebbing and flowing - giving and taking as we walk each forward step. The pandemic started something that has weakened a lot of our social batteries. I am not alone.
A combination of too much coffee, not a lot of food and the adrenaline lift of connecting with (what feels like) long, lost friends and family had me a little giddy a lot of the time. I found myself chattering up a storm with my long, lost hair stylist. I was talking a lot, talking fast and I sputtered out, "I've had three cups of coffee and a donut today" to explain my chattiness. We laughed.
There was a lot of laughter the past few days. Lots. That is what is ringing in my ears as I listen to the quiet of the morning.
One day, it just so happened that only one of my cousins was available to visit. Three hours passed and our visit continued on into the parking lot. My parting comment was connected to a comment she made at some point during our chat and I wound up our good-byes by turning that comment around and making some joke. As my cousin took a step away, she connected to dots to the initiating story. She turned around laughing and said, "I just got it". We parted laughing. Leave 'em laughing. It's a very good way to go.
I had enough errands to run to keep me busy throughout the afternoon. I didn't have another meaningful conversation with anyone all day. Thus, my one visit kept me company well into the evening, popping into my thoughts the way the last song you hear lingers long after the music is gone. The gift of one true connection was the magic in the way it lingered long after we went our separate ways.
Each and every connection was ended by the promise that we must do this again. And continue doing it. There is a cousin connection that goes beyond the blood ties, as two of these people were married to my cousins. There is simply a kinship. It is real and it is strong. It simply requires a little maintenance to sustain and nourish what we have.
The entire experience of the last three committed weekends which felt oh-so-hard was a strengthening of something good. Connection. Laughter. Kinship. Shared experiences and history. Compassion, caring, listening. There was a lot of listening.
I feel recharged, energized and capable of carrying this forward. Today. Life has a way of dulling the experience. Day-to-day living takes a lot of energy. If we can find a way to infuse a little jolt of energy into the experience, it makes a difference.
Maintenance takes a lot of work. At times we don't reap the rewards immediately but if we can persevere, there is something out there beyond one of those corners. We never know which one.
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