A Most Perfect Day

Well, Mom's birthday gathering was perfect in every way. From my sister's inception of the idea last summer as they vacationed together ... to our original 'sibling sleepover' in September to start the planning process ... to the various phone calls and emails along the way ... to the final sibling meeting ... to the day itself.

Each and every one of the steps along the way was perfectly enjoyable. We had so much fun getting together and arranging this gathering. And even though my sisters had all of the food and decorating preparations fall entirely on their shoulders in the end, they got together and made it sound fun.

The day itself couldn't have been better. It was a tad overwhelming to see the people that gathered. I think we came up with a final tally of around 110 people. Relatives from both Mom and Dad's side of the family and some family friends. I could have so easily crawled into my 'quiet self' that has attended these events in the past. Crowds of people overwhelm me. But I forced myself out of that quiet sanctuary and participated in the day. My only regret is that the day went too fast and I really didn't get to visit with anyone on a one-to-one basis.

My brother is our hero. He put together a program for the event that set the tone for the day. Before the program, people were gathering together in their little groups and there was an air of discomfort as no one really knew what to do. The program united all of us. Trev has a way with words that works magic. We were 'one' as we listened and enjoyed and anticipated every little thing he had to say. Our family had absolutely no doubt in our minds that he would do a marvelous job and he exceeded our expectations. It was fun to listen to people talk to and about him later ... he won the family over in every capacity. Just by being the person he is, he is fantastic. To project himself into his family and audience in such a humorous and touching fashion, gave everyone a chance to openly express how they felt. What a gift. For him. For all of us.

And Mom. She enjoyed every moment of the day. We are so glad that she was included in knowing what we were up to this time (we surprised her on her 65th birthday and it was just too overwhelming for her). She wasn't shy about including her input and she was the perfect 'guest of honor'. She has touched so many people and it was a credit to her, how well attended this event was. She has a special place in many people's hearts and vice versa. Dad's brothers feel like brothers to her. And the feeling appears very mutual. I happened to capture a moment that encapsulated this 'feeling' on film. And it makes me smile. She is close to her sisters and it was them that sat together at the head table which was so appropriate. She has touched the lives of many nieces and nephews and inlaws ... The people that have a special place in her heart were all there. My uncle travelled from Ontario; a cousin travelled from Medicine Hat; another cousin and her family live west of Edmonton and they came. Her grandchildren travelled from all over Saskatchewan and one from Edmonton, to be there for the day. The friends that came were so glad to be a part of the day. What a special way to show someone how you feel about them. To come and make the day more special - simply by being there...

Our family truly amazes me. From our immediate family, to the extended family of aunts, uncles, cousins and beyond. Mom and Dad have given our family the absolute best gift parents can give. A home and family that is strong and united.

It was a day that will live in my heart forever. A day that reflected our life, our family and honored our Mom. Dad was there through his brothers, his son and in the hearts of many. His part in creating this most special family is present even though he is gone.

Our family. My most cherished gift. One day to pay tribute to our Mom that is a central part to all of this wonder. A day that started well before the actual date. A day that will live far beyond. A most perfect day ...

A Leaky Tap

Our bathtub tap has been dripping for so long that I dare not say. It started out that you could stop the drip by really tightening the taps ... but that eventually stopped working. I put off the inevitable much longer than I should have. Our cat loved it because he had a nice fresh water source (and our cat is fascinated by drips). It was nice to entertain the cat in such a fashion, but I think that I have heard that in some countries there is actually a fine for not repairing a leaky faucet.

Anyway, I knew I had to take care of this. The drip was coming much faster and it had no where to go but worse.

So ... Saturday morning I asked the guy who is doing my basement renovations if he would mind fixing my tap while he was here. Seemed like an innocent request, right? Here's the timeline of events since then:

Saturday night:

Take apart the tap and discover that things are so badly corroded I should get new taps; I run out and pick those up right away.

Sunday morning (8:30):

The installation begins; only the manifold inside the wall needs to be replaced - everything is so badly corroded that it is impossible to attach the new pipes to the old ones.

This is where the nightmare begins ... running out and getting parts; the parts not working ; then having to stem the water flow to the bathtub taps so we can turn the main water back on; and having to wait until Monday until a more well supplied plumbing store is open. The running back and forth to stores and trying every stop-gap measure along the way took until 3:30.

Monday evening:

He arrives with just what he needs to fix the problems he was having the day before. A time consuming job, as he had to precisely measure and solder things together but this was better than having to cut a hole in the wall behind the tub and get at it from behind. So this was good.

Finally! Everything was ready to attach the new tap system to the manifold in the wall. And ... the new taps were faulty. They not only dripped, it was a steady trickle of water. Once again .. we were back to where we started ... drippy taps. So ...

Tuesday:

He bought a new set of taps and tried them out. And they worked! Tuesday evening we could have a bath! But the hole in the wall still had to be drywalled and the tub surround was off (he wanted to make sure there were no leaks before he sealed everything back up again).

Wednesday:

No leaks! Eureka!! So, he got the wall repaired, the tub surround back on and caulked and sealed everything back up again. All we had to do was to wait 24 hours for the silicone to dry before we could use the shower once again.

Thursday:

Technically, we could have a shower sometime around 10:00 this morning. Good to know.

5 days from the beginning to the end of this little saga. I haven't got my bill yet. That is a frightening prospect. But almost any price is worth it. To know that I would have run into this had I tried it on my own makes me realize how lucky I am that I asked someone I know and trust to take care of this 'small' problem.

The gift in all of this, is the person who did this for me. In a day and age of fly-by-night trades people; or the young and inexperienced; or those who want to take a short cut; or those who want to take advantage of a person .... I have a person I know personally who I feel did the job that my Dad would have done.

My Dad was the type of person who did the job right. He didn't take the shortcuts. He spent whatever time was necessary to fix the problem for good. No band-aids. You get to the bottom of the problem and you do it once.

In all the years that Dad has been gone, Mom has never found anyone that can compare to Dad, when it comes to home repair or renovation (or anything else, for that matter). I think she found his perfection in his work, a frustrating thing to live with at times but she recognized the value of the end result of Dad's work. They don't make men like Dad anymore ...

I've had the blessing of coming upon old pictures of Mom and Dad in this quest for family history. And just the other day, Mom asked if it would be too much trouble to add 'a little something' to the book to honor Dad.

I'm choking up a little bit here, as I write this. We 'lost' Dad 25 years ago when he had a massive heart attack (his body survived, but we lost every other part of him). I can talk about him, honor him, think about him and he is a warm memory. For some reason, this minor home repair gone awry and finding someone who treated the problem in the same way Dad would have ... has me missing him.

Life is funny that way. All is good ... then poof! A small incident triggers 'leaky eyes'.

2 Steps Forward, 3 Steps Back

It was that kind of weekend. But after all is said and done I'm glad this all happened on the weekend, so that the week ahead can go 'full speed ahead'.

Nothing seemed to be as easy as it should have been this weekend. Between a minor plumbing problem (a leaky faucet) turning into a 2 day affair ... to errands that seemed endless. Minor, minor stuff. But when you try to squeeze that into the weekdays it is a whole different matter.

I'm ready to tackle the small items on my agenda this week (hopefully it is just forward steps from here on).

I puttered with The Book a lot today. I'm feeling better about it now. Taking a little break from it was what I needed.

I even seem to have a few spare words in me at the end of the day. Not too many though, because I'm ready to turn off my brain and go and read my fiction novel right now. Time to enjoy someone else's words! I'm sick of reading my own for today.

Only forward steps from here on. Onward!!

Life is Like an Old Pair of Shoes

I have a very hard time giving up old shoes. The shoes that fit properly. The shoes I can actually walk in, without throbbing pain as an after effect.

I have bunions and the widest part of my foot is 4 1/2 inches across. To find shoes that I can wear without being in pain is a challenge. So when I find them, I wear them well beyond the point of where they should be worn in public.

I have bought 2 new pairs of shoes these past weeks. All I did was sit in the hairdressers chair for 2 1/2 hours, while wearing my first pair of new shoes. I sat there. And when I got home, my feet were throbbing. Today I wore a second new pair. Not so bad. No blisters. No throbbing. I still couldn't wait to toss them aside as soon as I walked in the door. It makes me realize that the thing I love best about my job running a daycare from my home is the dress code. Sock feet, bare feet, sandals and old runners are the best fringe benefits of this job, by far!!

As I faced the dilemma of having to look for new shoes ... tossing out the old ... bringing in the new, I saw a parallel to the well worn ruts I enjoy living in. I love my comfortable routines. The known, the expected. I realize that I must force myself out of those ruts and make new ones from time to time. But it's hard. It's like getting those new shoes.

A smart person would realize that the new ruts and the new shoes really shouldn't hurt. It may take a while to get used to the change but it should not cause any discomfort along the way.

So why then, when it comes to 'relationships' with men, do I seem to go for the uncomfortable fit and hope that eventually they become comfortable?

This is something that I am slowly realizing. The 2 most important relationships in my life weren't a perfect fit ... they weren't even close. Right from the beginning, I was uncomfortable. I thought I would get used to the fit. I thought they could be 'broken in', perhaps ... like a pair of shoes. But no matter what ... no matter how long ... I was never completely comfortable. I may have adapted and gotten used to them. But they weren't good for me. And if I'm honest with myself, I knew it from the start.

The good friends I have have been a perfect fit - right from the beginning. No discomfort, no pain. The friendships that have lasted throughout the years, the miles, life's transitions, the good, the bad and the ugly ... have been comfortable right from the get-go.

I'm learning.

I think I need to learn how to shop more wisely. For shoes and for relationships. I think a little 'trial run' with both feet planted firmly on the ground would be a good motto in both regards.

Just because I have bunions doesn't mean I should be in pain. Just because I am older doesn't mean I should settle.

Pain and discomfort are your body's signals to warn you. Why does a person think that you should ignore that?

I need to spend a little more time 'shopping' for the perfect fit...

Stuck

I feel like I'm stuck out in limbo somewhere. The words are stuck. Actions are stuck. Completion of any one project feels stuck. It's a cool, messy spring and we are stuck indoors. You get the idea?

Anyway ... such good things are on the horizon.

Mom's birthday gathering is next weekend and that should be a memorable day in every way. Lots of little things that I need to tend to before I'm ready for the big weekend. I should stress to myself the little part. I need to write a list to make me realize that there really isn't a lot of things I need to do. It's just that everything is swimming in my mind right now and it feels like lots. There. I just wrote it down. It doesn't look as overwhelming on paper as it felt in my mind, freefalling around.

The Book. I am so close. So close, but yet so far. I can't really do too terribly much (there is always room for fine tuning and I think this is the part that overwhelms me). I'm waiting for revisions from 'The Sisters' before I go ahead with anything. Then I realized that I should probably take it with me to Mom's gathering to help fill in missing blanks and see who may be interested in getting a book before I place the order for it to be printed. So in the meantime, I can't do a lot ... yet I could do the fine tuning which it still needs. I can do it, but I don't have to do it now. I guess that's why I'm not doing anything.

I really should motivate myself to do some deeper cleaning around here. My big excuse is that there isn't a lot of sense in getting too crazy with the clean part, since there will soon be the fine drywall dust in the air from the bedroom renovation (that starts today!!). I could still do something though!! Some decluttering is necessary in a big way. I was going through old photos the last few days and noticed how uncluttered my kitchen was in those pictures. I seem to have accumulated a lot of kitchen-stuff. I guess that means I'm using it more, right?

I've got one day off between now and next weekend. I need to make the most of the day in every way!! I think if I get up and get moving tomorrow I could move mountains and get me in the place I need to be before all the activity of next weekend. It's going to be such a great weekend that I need to get my mind in a state of relaxation to just go with the flow of it and savor every moment.

Spring is on its way (eventually). So many things to anticipate.

In the meantime, I have been 'stuck'. Stuck in the past, as I went through old photo albums and made a slideshow of my family the last few days. I look at those photos and I can remember the feelings ... lots of history in my own little family ... maybe that could be my next book project ... my own family's story is just beginning ... but I could still write the introduction. Maybe that's why I'm so stuck. I'm looking back instead of ahead.

Time to look forward!!

Keep Holding On

I woke up with a song in my heart this morning and this is it. "Keep Holding On". Oh ... how I'd love to dance to that ... a beautiful Viennese Waltz. I can feel it in my bones.

I love when a song grabs me the way this one does. A song to keep beat to as I 'dance' throughout the day .... Here's the song that's in my very being today:

Formatting Nightmares!

I'm glad that I started puttering around with what I thought were 'little things' with The Book early this week. When it comes to making what a novice thinks are minor changes to the formatting in Microsoft Word ... it is another challenge. Oh, how I love a challenge! (not!!) I'm up to the challenges, but after a little while a person just wants things to go smoothly.

Oh well. It's all part of the learning curve. And as I keep saying, I just need to keep using what I've learned so that next time this is old hat.

I'm inching my way through The Book again, between the formatting nightmares and fine tuning the chapters a little as I go, I'm making some progress.

I don't think I'll ever be 100% happy with what I've got written. But I'm getting happier with it, the more I putter. I should probably take writing classes to work on my shortcomings. I'm sure there are many more than I aware of!

And this cool spring weather is just not my favorite either. I can't wait to actually be able to start puttering around outside again. There is still a huge snow hill in the front yard. I'm thinking it may still be there by May 1st! Oh well, I guess it gives the kids something to play on as we wait for some warmer weather.

Bring on the green!! I'm ready for sun and warm days.

And I'm ready to put this book to rest pretty soon. My formatting days are almost done. Almost ...