The calendar used to be full before I even flipped over a new month in my day care days. My schedule with the kids filled each week day. 'Our life' was written in the margins in red. Those were the busy days.
Now ... I flip over to a brand new month and the calendar page is empty.
This month, I had two things written on the page. Two.
A friend called and asked if I'd like to go and visit with her aunt one afternoon. I quickly agreed. And guess which days she suggested? Yes ... the only days I had anything marked on my calendar. We then settled for the 30th of the month and plans were made.
It's amazing how back-to-school slipped my mind this year. I woke up the next morning and researched what days the kids go back to school. That would be the 30th.
It was about this time that I realized that the plans that I made for the 9th intercepted with my blood donor appointment. How could I double book myself on the only days that I have anything planned?
I'm having a major internal struggle with the budget this month. In all reality, I should cancel all dance lessons for the month. Then again ... I could compromise and take half of them. That seems like the sane way to go.
But ... My Youngest is craving a mini holiday before he heads back to school. How do I juggle the time to afford to be able to take some days off, with the lack of funds and the days we have left to work with? If I cancel all of my dance lessons I have a bit of wiggle room. No I don't. I don't have wiggle room this month. No matter what I do (even if it is nothing), I am spending more than I made. It's just a matter of how much I allow myself to over indulge ...
Dance lessons. This week they land on the same night that one of our young dance students is performing in the Youth Talent Search. I'd love to go and see this. Yet ... if I go, I could end up spending more than the cost of my dance lesson. Oh, the dilemmas!
Then there is work. Yes, I am in control of my work days. But I am finding that it is very hard to work in a 40 hour work week when working from home. I am easily distracted. I delay starting. I allow myself to take breaks that are longer than they need to be. I worked so hard last week that I decided I could allow myself a weekend. But I want to 'play' too much this month. How can I work in all that I want to do, with all that I need to do??
I am torn in too many directions.
For a calendar month that appears so 'empty' ... it is very full.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Groceries - Are They Really Necessary?
I've noticed something interesting about my grocery expenditures and how they relate to my other spending this past while ...
In the last two weeks, this is the grocery to take out allocation of assets:
Groceries - $ 43.42
Take Out - $143.00
Considering that we ate out four times and ate at home for the remaining ten days, it would appear we need to find cheaper places to dine out!
In the past month, this has been my grocery to dance lessons ratio:
Groceries - about $400 (divided by 3 = $133.33 per person)
Dancing - about $250
Food to dancing ratio: 133:250 = about 13:25, which equals about 1:2. If I'm dancing twice as much as I'm spending on groceries, one would think that I should be a little skinny minny ... but I'm not. Mathematics lie!
For the month of July, these are the grocery statistics as they relate to our household expenses:
Groceries - 24%
Bills, mortgage, dancing, spending, taxes, annual expenses and everything else under the sun - 76%
Food and shelter are highly over rated. I'm thinking maybe we should pitch a tent, collect berries and eat whatever we can catch. Or else pitch a tent and eat out all of the time?
Hmmm ....
My family is starting to notice the echo within our food storage areas. The natives are getting hungry.
Dancing verses groceries this month??
Groceries may be pulling into the lead (personally, I'm thinking we should push this a little further. It could be a good time to defrost the deep freeze if we go a few more weeks without wasting time and money buying groceries).
A girl's gotta dance. Doesn't she??
In the last two weeks, this is the grocery to take out allocation of assets:
Groceries - $ 43.42
Take Out - $143.00
Considering that we ate out four times and ate at home for the remaining ten days, it would appear we need to find cheaper places to dine out!
In the past month, this has been my grocery to dance lessons ratio:
Groceries - about $400 (divided by 3 = $133.33 per person)
Dancing - about $250
Food to dancing ratio: 133:250 = about 13:25, which equals about 1:2. If I'm dancing twice as much as I'm spending on groceries, one would think that I should be a little skinny minny ... but I'm not. Mathematics lie!
For the month of July, these are the grocery statistics as they relate to our household expenses:
Groceries - 24%
Bills, mortgage, dancing, spending, taxes, annual expenses and everything else under the sun - 76%
Food and shelter are highly over rated. I'm thinking maybe we should pitch a tent, collect berries and eat whatever we can catch. Or else pitch a tent and eat out all of the time?
Hmmm ....
My family is starting to notice the echo within our food storage areas. The natives are getting hungry.
Dancing verses groceries this month??
Groceries may be pulling into the lead (personally, I'm thinking we should push this a little further. It could be a good time to defrost the deep freeze if we go a few more weeks without wasting time and money buying groceries).
A girl's gotta dance. Doesn't she??
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Thirty Two Years
August 5, 1978
5:38 a.m.
My first born son was born
Thirty two years have passed since that moment. Thirty two years of life, action and drama. Thirty two years of memories.
Thirty two years is a pretty good age to be. You've had enough life experience to know what direction you want to move your life towards.
There have been good times, bad times, happy times, sad times ... memories that linger, moments that have changed your life.
You've worked hard to get to where you want to be ... but the closer you get, the more illusive the destination.
Never stop growing, never stop dreaming, never give up.
Oh, to be 32 again. Life is just beginning!!
Live it up, My Son. Happy Birthday!
"If you can dream it ... you can do it." ~ Walt Disney
5:38 a.m.
My first born son was born
Thirty two years have passed since that moment. Thirty two years of life, action and drama. Thirty two years of memories.
Thirty two years is a pretty good age to be. You've had enough life experience to know what direction you want to move your life towards.
There have been good times, bad times, happy times, sad times ... memories that linger, moments that have changed your life.
You've worked hard to get to where you want to be ... but the closer you get, the more illusive the destination.
Never stop growing, never stop dreaming, never give up.
Oh, to be 32 again. Life is just beginning!!
Live it up, My Son. Happy Birthday!
"If you can dream it ... you can do it." ~ Walt Disney
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Life Beyond the Next Door
'It's hard to believe that life is still going on ...' I remember the moment when Mom lifted her head out of the drama that had enveloped our family after Dad had his last heart attack.
That next morning, I had to make arrangements for the life that was going on in my absence outside of those hospital doors. Our world had become very small in those hours. But life was going on without us ...
I visited with a good friend last week. She has so much going on in her world but she had arranged for My Youngest and her nephews to have a visit and a sleep over at her house. The kids had a ball and my friend and I had a nice, leisurely visit that afternoon. I picked up My Youngest the next day and went on to live my regularly scheduled life.
I look at the mundane little things that I've thought and written since then. The trivial little worries that sit in the back of my mind. I think of the 'stuff' that takes up space in my brain. It's all small stuff. No matter how much it may consume my thinking ... it's small stuff.
Since I parted ways with my friend on the day I picked up My Youngest, her life has been turned upside down and back again.
The health of my friend's parents has been very fragile this past long while. They take things one day at a time because that is simply all they can do. But the past five days have been more worrisome than most ...
As life hangs in the balance for my friend and her family, the world outside of their doors continues to move on.
If only those of us who have been wrapped up in our own little worries had a peek inside of that door, our lives would come crashing into perspective.
It is the small and precious moments in life that matter.
The smile and hug of a loved one that you thought may be lost to you ... we must cherish every moment while we have it. We just never know what lies beyond that next door.
That next morning, I had to make arrangements for the life that was going on in my absence outside of those hospital doors. Our world had become very small in those hours. But life was going on without us ...
I visited with a good friend last week. She has so much going on in her world but she had arranged for My Youngest and her nephews to have a visit and a sleep over at her house. The kids had a ball and my friend and I had a nice, leisurely visit that afternoon. I picked up My Youngest the next day and went on to live my regularly scheduled life.
I look at the mundane little things that I've thought and written since then. The trivial little worries that sit in the back of my mind. I think of the 'stuff' that takes up space in my brain. It's all small stuff. No matter how much it may consume my thinking ... it's small stuff.
Since I parted ways with my friend on the day I picked up My Youngest, her life has been turned upside down and back again.
The health of my friend's parents has been very fragile this past long while. They take things one day at a time because that is simply all they can do. But the past five days have been more worrisome than most ...
As life hangs in the balance for my friend and her family, the world outside of their doors continues to move on.
If only those of us who have been wrapped up in our own little worries had a peek inside of that door, our lives would come crashing into perspective.
It is the small and precious moments in life that matter.
The smile and hug of a loved one that you thought may be lost to you ... we must cherish every moment while we have it. We just never know what lies beyond that next door.
Monday, August 2, 2010
I Do Like My Job After All!!
It's been rather exhilarating to be excited and challenged about my bookkeeping the past week.
Yes, I've been frantically trying to log the necessary hours. But there is something else that takes over when you get beyond feeling overwhelmed. The challenge of keeping up and doing each task to a state of completion which means that you will never see it again.
I have done, undone, redid, checked, double checked and have still had to redo many of the mundane bookkeeping tasks that have been set before me in my (almost) two year 'career' with this company. I am finally at the state where I feel that I know what must be done ... the first time.
Checks and balances. I love them. I love being able to take a huge job and break it down into manageable segments. I like being able to check my work. It can't come back to haunt me if it is done properly the first time.
I am surrounded by buckets, boxes and files. But they aren't intimidating me any more. I've got the bulk of the work conquered. I find myself wanting to dabble in one job that I haven't completed to my own satisfaction.
But today? I am granting myself a day off of work. A day to follow my whims and go where ever the wind blows.
I can't believe that I am actually having a hard time convincing myself to keep my hands off of my work.
Ahhh ... maybe this career wasn't such a bad choice after all.
Yes, I've been frantically trying to log the necessary hours. But there is something else that takes over when you get beyond feeling overwhelmed. The challenge of keeping up and doing each task to a state of completion which means that you will never see it again.
I have done, undone, redid, checked, double checked and have still had to redo many of the mundane bookkeeping tasks that have been set before me in my (almost) two year 'career' with this company. I am finally at the state where I feel that I know what must be done ... the first time.
Checks and balances. I love them. I love being able to take a huge job and break it down into manageable segments. I like being able to check my work. It can't come back to haunt me if it is done properly the first time.
I am surrounded by buckets, boxes and files. But they aren't intimidating me any more. I've got the bulk of the work conquered. I find myself wanting to dabble in one job that I haven't completed to my own satisfaction.
But today? I am granting myself a day off of work. A day to follow my whims and go where ever the wind blows.
I can't believe that I am actually having a hard time convincing myself to keep my hands off of my work.
Ahhh ... maybe this career wasn't such a bad choice after all.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
An Idyllic Day
Ahhh ... balance! I had one glorious day of 'balance' after a week of work, angst and stress.
It was a day sprinkled with work. A little here, a little there and a little bit in between.
But the flavor of the day? Was going with the flow. I forgot that life could flow. Flowing is good.
Yes! I could go out for coffee with my Second Son yesterday morning. We had an energy inducing power visit. He's been under a great deal more stress than I have been lately and we have both come up for air and can see the light again. I'm so glad that we made the time for that coffee.
I couldn't wait for the phone to ring yesterday. I was going to call my mom to make up for the letter that I didn't make time to write last week. But instead, I promised myself to turn everything 'off' in my world when she called and focus 100% on our conversation.
So when the phone rang yesterday, my caffeine induced state had me racing for the phone and talking a mile a minute whenever my mom took a breath. It was a most excellent visit. I sat in the spare room where there was no computer, no work, no nothing. I sat. And we visited. Perfection!
The day was wound up by going to a friend's for tea. A perfect end to a perfect day.
Yesterday was balanced by work, family and friends. A little dash of work and a pinch of friendship, with family as the base.
A perfect recipe for a most idyllic day!!
It was a day sprinkled with work. A little here, a little there and a little bit in between.
But the flavor of the day? Was going with the flow. I forgot that life could flow. Flowing is good.
Yes! I could go out for coffee with my Second Son yesterday morning. We had an energy inducing power visit. He's been under a great deal more stress than I have been lately and we have both come up for air and can see the light again. I'm so glad that we made the time for that coffee.
I couldn't wait for the phone to ring yesterday. I was going to call my mom to make up for the letter that I didn't make time to write last week. But instead, I promised myself to turn everything 'off' in my world when she called and focus 100% on our conversation.
So when the phone rang yesterday, my caffeine induced state had me racing for the phone and talking a mile a minute whenever my mom took a breath. It was a most excellent visit. I sat in the spare room where there was no computer, no work, no nothing. I sat. And we visited. Perfection!
The day was wound up by going to a friend's for tea. A perfect end to a perfect day.
Yesterday was balanced by work, family and friends. A little dash of work and a pinch of friendship, with family as the base.
A perfect recipe for a most idyllic day!!
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