I woke up in a bit of a funk this morning. I didn't seem to have the ability to move myself past it. I sat in my depressed state of mind and couldn't see the way out. I would have sat and steeped in that mindset all day if it hadn't been for one small thing: I had to go to work.
Deep down I knew that getting out of the house and facing real, live people was exactly what I needed. Even though it was the last thing in the world that I wanted.
I got to work and almost immediately I was told that I wasn't supposed to be there. They had tried to call and cancel me for the afternoon but The Powers That Be didn't get the message until it was too late.
There I was. I didn't really want to be there ... but I was. They didn't really need me ... but I was there. It is funny how things have a way of working out.
One of the full time staff was not feeling well. Because I was there and I knew how to do her job ... she could go home. And she did.
There was another substitute secretary booked to work for the full day. I was told her name but I didn't remember it. But that didn't matter because the moment she walked in, I already knew her!
We had known each other from our previous job at the Credit Union. We never did work together but through a mutual friend, we knew each other and conversation came easy. To be quite honest, to find a person that I actually know in this world of never knowing anyone was like finding an oasis in the desert.
We chatted easily and as we walked to our cars after work, the conversation continued. At one point I mentioned that we should have gone out for coffee and within moments we were exchanging phone numbers.
We discovered that we live minutes away from each other and when I gave her my phone number she just laughed and said, "That's funny!" ... our phone numbers are two digits apart. It was kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the parking lot after work.
I came home with a spring in my step and suddenly my dreary little life had a little sparkle in it again. For a day that started out so crappy, it sure ended on a high note!
The contrasts of life. We couldn't appreciate the small victories if life was all sunshine and roses. A few clouds now and again aren't the end of the world. Just keep looking for those rays of sunshine fighting to find their way through the darkness.
Friday, March 30, 2012
White Lace and Promises
White lace and promises … a kiss for luck and I was on my way.
That was February 24, 1978. Ahhh, the seventies. It was a simpler time. A time when marriage meant forever and destiny was summarized up in the phrase “happily-ever-after”.
Back in the 70’s, getting married was the answer to most everything. I didn’t worry about my financial future. The closest thing to retirement planning was dreaming that my husband and I would stay in love forever and we would figure out the rest along the way.
Life has a way of teaching you what you need to know.
Little over a year later, I was signing up for a benefit package with my new employer. I was a single mom and my boss glossed over the option to sign up for a pension. “You are young … you will probably get married and not have to worry about that.” I didn’t sign up for the pension.
The years slipped by and I continued to find myself in a perpetual state of singlehood (I would like to talk to my first boss about that pension now …). But I took hold of the reins and I had a plan. A financial plan.
I was consumed with paying off the mortgage, retirement savings and life insurance. I often joked that I could afford to retire and I could afford to die … I simply couldn’t afford to live.
Over the span of those 20 years I had gone from a young, naïve girl without a plan to a compulsive saver who felt financial security was the end all answer. I had forgotten how to live.
Life has a way of teaching you what is truly important.
My financial plan went out the window when about a year later (still single), I found myself sitting in the middle of the living room floor with my brand new baby. A ray of light shone on my present and showed me my future. All that I wanted in the world was right in front of me. I simply wanted to stay at home and raise my young family.
I found a way to support myself by working at home. My retirement savings subsidized my present instead of my future. That moment in the sun changed my life.
I never did replenish those retirement savings but what I have replaced those funds with, are years well spent. I invested in my family and in our life. I will never regret that decision.
We never know what is around that next corner. It could be bad. It could be good. To live happily-ever-after, every day of your life is a good place to start.
The land of “White Lace and Promises” remains elusive, but I will never lose the hope that I had on that day 34 years ago.
There is so much of life ahead. I have found a place where there is room to grow. I may be 51 years old, but I feel as though I have only just begun.
Life has taught me that health and happiness cannot be bought. My retirement plan has evolved from saving a specified dollar amount to an unlimited amount of hope and dreams for what lies ahead.
I want more than a pension when I retire. I want a life. Retirement planning isn’t just about the money. It is about living a full life now so that you can bring that along with you into your future. Whatever or wherever it may be.
That was February 24, 1978. Ahhh, the seventies. It was a simpler time. A time when marriage meant forever and destiny was summarized up in the phrase “happily-ever-after”.
Back in the 70’s, getting married was the answer to most everything. I didn’t worry about my financial future. The closest thing to retirement planning was dreaming that my husband and I would stay in love forever and we would figure out the rest along the way.
Life has a way of teaching you what you need to know.
Little over a year later, I was signing up for a benefit package with my new employer. I was a single mom and my boss glossed over the option to sign up for a pension. “You are young … you will probably get married and not have to worry about that.” I didn’t sign up for the pension.
The years slipped by and I continued to find myself in a perpetual state of singlehood (I would like to talk to my first boss about that pension now …). But I took hold of the reins and I had a plan. A financial plan.
I was consumed with paying off the mortgage, retirement savings and life insurance. I often joked that I could afford to retire and I could afford to die … I simply couldn’t afford to live.
Over the span of those 20 years I had gone from a young, naïve girl without a plan to a compulsive saver who felt financial security was the end all answer. I had forgotten how to live.
Life has a way of teaching you what is truly important.
My financial plan went out the window when about a year later (still single), I found myself sitting in the middle of the living room floor with my brand new baby. A ray of light shone on my present and showed me my future. All that I wanted in the world was right in front of me. I simply wanted to stay at home and raise my young family.
I found a way to support myself by working at home. My retirement savings subsidized my present instead of my future. That moment in the sun changed my life.
I never did replenish those retirement savings but what I have replaced those funds with, are years well spent. I invested in my family and in our life. I will never regret that decision.
We never know what is around that next corner. It could be bad. It could be good. To live happily-ever-after, every day of your life is a good place to start.
The land of “White Lace and Promises” remains elusive, but I will never lose the hope that I had on that day 34 years ago.
There is so much of life ahead. I have found a place where there is room to grow. I may be 51 years old, but I feel as though I have only just begun.
Life has taught me that health and happiness cannot be bought. My retirement plan has evolved from saving a specified dollar amount to an unlimited amount of hope and dreams for what lies ahead.
I want more than a pension when I retire. I want a life. Retirement planning isn’t just about the money. It is about living a full life now so that you can bring that along with you into your future. Whatever or wherever it may be.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Reflecting on Your Life
“Go! When you start repeating your stories when you are older, I want them to be interesting ones.”
These were the words uttered to me by my Middle Son when I took a tentative step and seriously considered the idea of going to a ballroom dance competition a few years ago.
The next year, I went on my Great Alaskan Cruise Adventure and the seed for my next (as yet untaken) Holiday Adventure was planted.
Oh! The things that I did! The places I went! Some were grand. Many were simple. Collecting family memories from Dad's family; spur of the moment adventures with friends; country drives; running out to have coffee with my sisters; and simply picking up the phone and inviting people into my life.
Life has been so very good since I started taking the reins and living it!
Lately, I have been actively seeking that-which-I-lost sometime over the course of the past year. The act of living passionately has been trickling through my fingers as the stark reality of life has overtaken my thoughts.
I have been actively seeking people and opportunities to pull me out of the quiet spot where I have cocooned myself. I have been pushing myself into new territory which is a little bit frightening. The words stopped flowing ... but I wrote what I could as I tried to release the toxic energy that seemed to be enveloping me.
I have been actively pursuing dreams which cost nothing. It has been work ... but it seems to be working.
This week, nothing has changed but my frame of mind. My eye is on the prize. I see where I want to go and I am doing what I can in order to get there.
I shall direct my energy towards the future ... but I will make the best of the roads that it takes to get there. When the day comes that I am sitting in the rocking-chair-of-life and reflecting on my memories ... I want them to be interesting ones!
"Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places" (Nathan Pyle)
... and they make for a more interesting story when you start repeating yourself when you get older.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Independence
Our independence is gained in such small increments that sometimes we don't appreciate what we have until we lose it.
From the moment we are born, we start to learn. Every milestone is one small step we take towards our independence.
Muscle control soon allows us to grasp what we want to hold onto, feed ourselves and begin to move about independently.
Communication is another tool that leads to our independence. As a baby learns to communicate their needs, they soon find ways to get what they need and want out of life. As babies grow to toddlers; toddlers to teens; teens into adults ... our ability to speak, write, listen, text, email (and the list goes on) opens many doors.
Independence is a gradual process. From crawling; to walking; to riding a trike/bike; learning to take a bus; and eventually driving ... we become less dependent on those around us to get us where we need to go.
Independence is an incredible freedom that we spend our lives working to attain.
As relationships form there is a yin and a yang of who does what to get a person where they need and want to go in life. When relationships dissolve, there comes a need to find one's independence once again. It is harder to regain that independence once you've learned to rely on someone else. But it isn't impossible.
Everyone is different as to how independent they need or want to be. It is a liberating feeling to know that you have the ability to live where you want to live, choose how to get where you want to go and make your own decisions.
Letting go of some of the material possessions that we amass as we acquire our independence can be freeing. To sell a house and move into a condo means that someone else is responsible for the yard work and snow removal. You may downsize and have less square footage to maintain and clean.
While some may equate downsizing their housing to a concession made due to their health ... others may have been waiting for this day so they were no longer a slave to the time, expense and ongoing maintenance a house demands. Not to mention the freedom condo living allows since you can pack your bags and take a summer &/or winter vacation and let someone else take care of things in your absence.
Driving and car ownership is one more aspect that we must sometimes weigh when it comes to living an independent life. Even if a person doesn't do a lot of driving, there is great peace of mind knowing that your car is there if you need it.
If you live in an urban centre, you can modify your lifestyle to accommodate living without a vehicle. Walking is often an option; as are buses and taxi cabs. You can still feel independent as long as you have choices.
Then there are the advantages. No vehicle maintenance. No more starting up a cold vehicle in the winter. Someone else gets to deal with the traffic and road conditions.
Yes, giving up a drivers license is a concession that we may have to make sooner or later. Some may do what it takes to keep that license. Others may decide that they can make do without. It is all about the ability to decide what is best for you.
We spend our lives striving to be independent. As we go through the ages and stages of life, there is great satisfaction in becoming self-sufficient. Then as time goes on, it is a blessing when we have the ability to pick and choose a lifestyle that works best for you.
When we are in a place where we are 'in the driver's seat' in our own lives ... we are still flexing our independence. It's all about choice.
From the moment we are born, we start to learn. Every milestone is one small step we take towards our independence.
Muscle control soon allows us to grasp what we want to hold onto, feed ourselves and begin to move about independently.
Communication is another tool that leads to our independence. As a baby learns to communicate their needs, they soon find ways to get what they need and want out of life. As babies grow to toddlers; toddlers to teens; teens into adults ... our ability to speak, write, listen, text, email (and the list goes on) opens many doors.
Independence is a gradual process. From crawling; to walking; to riding a trike/bike; learning to take a bus; and eventually driving ... we become less dependent on those around us to get us where we need to go.
Independence is an incredible freedom that we spend our lives working to attain.
As relationships form there is a yin and a yang of who does what to get a person where they need and want to go in life. When relationships dissolve, there comes a need to find one's independence once again. It is harder to regain that independence once you've learned to rely on someone else. But it isn't impossible.
Everyone is different as to how independent they need or want to be. It is a liberating feeling to know that you have the ability to live where you want to live, choose how to get where you want to go and make your own decisions.
Letting go of some of the material possessions that we amass as we acquire our independence can be freeing. To sell a house and move into a condo means that someone else is responsible for the yard work and snow removal. You may downsize and have less square footage to maintain and clean.
While some may equate downsizing their housing to a concession made due to their health ... others may have been waiting for this day so they were no longer a slave to the time, expense and ongoing maintenance a house demands. Not to mention the freedom condo living allows since you can pack your bags and take a summer &/or winter vacation and let someone else take care of things in your absence.
Driving and car ownership is one more aspect that we must sometimes weigh when it comes to living an independent life. Even if a person doesn't do a lot of driving, there is great peace of mind knowing that your car is there if you need it.
If you live in an urban centre, you can modify your lifestyle to accommodate living without a vehicle. Walking is often an option; as are buses and taxi cabs. You can still feel independent as long as you have choices.
Then there are the advantages. No vehicle maintenance. No more starting up a cold vehicle in the winter. Someone else gets to deal with the traffic and road conditions.
Yes, giving up a drivers license is a concession that we may have to make sooner or later. Some may do what it takes to keep that license. Others may decide that they can make do without. It is all about the ability to decide what is best for you.
We spend our lives striving to be independent. As we go through the ages and stages of life, there is great satisfaction in becoming self-sufficient. Then as time goes on, it is a blessing when we have the ability to pick and choose a lifestyle that works best for you.
When we are in a place where we are 'in the driver's seat' in our own lives ... we are still flexing our independence. It's all about choice.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Seeds of Hope
I have been sitting still and reacting to life a lot lately. My defense is that 'I am doing all that I can do' and I feel very good about where things are (eventually) headed. But taking a back seat and simply going along for the ride has not been sitting well with me.
I needed to go and seek out some answers. Talk to people and get a feel for what lies ahead. Take a proactive approach and attempt to create some sort of safety net.
Yesterday, I took action. Today there is no visible difference to my situation, but internally I feel much better.
I researched a back-up plan to find out that it is there. It isn't an end-all answer but it is there in case of emergency.
I took my first step towards seeking out a back-up solution. I have a few other ideas to consider.
I have an in-case-of-emergency plan. But I cannot use that unless I have a forecast of what the future holds. So I have asked the questions. I am simply waiting for the answers.
What should happen while I was addressing the situation that has been consuming my energy? Another glimmer of hope from one of those wide nets I threw out a few months ago. They took two months to consider my offer ... and they are going to take me up on it!
Seeds of hope. I planted a few yesterday ... I reaped something which I sewed a few months ago. Life is full of surprises. As long as you keep planting those seeds.
I needed to go and seek out some answers. Talk to people and get a feel for what lies ahead. Take a proactive approach and attempt to create some sort of safety net.
Yesterday, I took action. Today there is no visible difference to my situation, but internally I feel much better.
I researched a back-up plan to find out that it is there. It isn't an end-all answer but it is there in case of emergency.
I took my first step towards seeking out a back-up solution. I have a few other ideas to consider.
I have an in-case-of-emergency plan. But I cannot use that unless I have a forecast of what the future holds. So I have asked the questions. I am simply waiting for the answers.
What should happen while I was addressing the situation that has been consuming my energy? Another glimmer of hope from one of those wide nets I threw out a few months ago. They took two months to consider my offer ... and they are going to take me up on it!
Seeds of hope. I planted a few yesterday ... I reaped something which I sewed a few months ago. Life is full of surprises. As long as you keep planting those seeds.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Ready For Anything
It is Monday. It is a brand new morning of a brand new week. Anything is possible. I started this morning with a momentum that begs me to keep on moving. No matter what. And I will.
I truly believe that this 'Life of Living Idle' is my reality because it is exactly what I need to push through some of the (what feel like) daunting challenges that I have been putting off.
I have been given the gift of time. If I am not filling that vacancy with paid employment, it is up to me to take advantage of this temporary lull and make it work to my advantage.
It is time to fight off the demons called procrastination and making excuses. It is time to maximize my free time because I have no idea how long I will have it.
I am exactly where I need to be right now. Maybe it is not a place that I would choose to be, but since I have done and am doing everything in my power to make this work ... I must make the most of what I have.
I must trust that there is a purpose to this transitional phase where much of what I want and (think I) need are out of my reach. If I am doing everything in my power to make a good situation better, I must focus my excess time and energy to that-which-remains-to-be-done in my life.
And I will.
Make the most of your day. Turn what you have into what you need. Trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
Happy Monday, World!! It is going to be a banner week. I can feel it ...
I truly believe that this 'Life of Living Idle' is my reality because it is exactly what I need to push through some of the (what feel like) daunting challenges that I have been putting off.
I have been given the gift of time. If I am not filling that vacancy with paid employment, it is up to me to take advantage of this temporary lull and make it work to my advantage.
It is time to fight off the demons called procrastination and making excuses. It is time to maximize my free time because I have no idea how long I will have it.
I am exactly where I need to be right now. Maybe it is not a place that I would choose to be, but since I have done and am doing everything in my power to make this work ... I must make the most of what I have.
I must trust that there is a purpose to this transitional phase where much of what I want and (think I) need are out of my reach. If I am doing everything in my power to make a good situation better, I must focus my excess time and energy to that-which-remains-to-be-done in my life.
And I will.
Make the most of your day. Turn what you have into what you need. Trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
Happy Monday, World!! It is going to be a banner week. I can feel it ...
Sunday, March 25, 2012
That Place Between 'Yes' and 'No'
One of my most favorite places to be is that spot somewhere in between 'yes' and 'no'.
You apply for a job and the deadline for applications has not come to pass. You extend an invitation and await a reply. You put yourself out on a limb and offer a suggestion that requires approval from another party.
The place in between yes and no gives you the gift of hope.
The word 'yes' opens up brand new doors and can be the beginning of many great things. Yes can be a springboard for new opportunities and has the potential to change the course of your life.
Yet 'yes' is sometimes a frightening proposition when it comes to something brand new. Are you up to the task? Is it going to be everything you hoped? What complications will this new dimension bring to your life if you are accepted? Sometimes it is a relief when the answer is no.
It is that place in between yes and no where you have an opportunity to dream and dare to hope. It is a safe place to be. Nothing has changed ... yet. You have yet to discover what is around the next corner and the impact it will have.
Sometimes that new reality casts a shadow on all that you dreamed it could be. 'Yes' isn't the end all answer. There is work to be done once you gain that approval.
There soon comes a plateau where you can look back on where you were, what you had and you appreciate it more from a distance. But that same plateau is a stepping stone towards where you want to go. Yes isn't the end. It is a new beginning and there is work to be done to keep climbing towards where you want to go.
I have become addicted to the idea of casting out a wide net which offers me unlimited room to dream and dare to hope. Both acceptance and rejection have the potential to paralyze me. So I must keep casting smaller nets as I move forward to keep from standing still.
Hope invigorates, energizes and inspires. Hope springs eternal ...
You apply for a job and the deadline for applications has not come to pass. You extend an invitation and await a reply. You put yourself out on a limb and offer a suggestion that requires approval from another party.
The place in between yes and no gives you the gift of hope.
The word 'yes' opens up brand new doors and can be the beginning of many great things. Yes can be a springboard for new opportunities and has the potential to change the course of your life.
Yet 'yes' is sometimes a frightening proposition when it comes to something brand new. Are you up to the task? Is it going to be everything you hoped? What complications will this new dimension bring to your life if you are accepted? Sometimes it is a relief when the answer is no.
It is that place in between yes and no where you have an opportunity to dream and dare to hope. It is a safe place to be. Nothing has changed ... yet. You have yet to discover what is around the next corner and the impact it will have.
Sometimes that new reality casts a shadow on all that you dreamed it could be. 'Yes' isn't the end all answer. There is work to be done once you gain that approval.
There soon comes a plateau where you can look back on where you were, what you had and you appreciate it more from a distance. But that same plateau is a stepping stone towards where you want to go. Yes isn't the end. It is a new beginning and there is work to be done to keep climbing towards where you want to go.
I have become addicted to the idea of casting out a wide net which offers me unlimited room to dream and dare to hope. Both acceptance and rejection have the potential to paralyze me. So I must keep casting smaller nets as I move forward to keep from standing still.
Hope invigorates, energizes and inspires. Hope springs eternal ...
"We love to expect,
and when expectation is either disappointed or gratified,
we want to be again expecting."
~ Samuel Johnson
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