Change ... Is it in the Air?

Did you ever have your hopes and dreams (almost) offered to you on a silver platter? It feels so right. It is what you hoped for. Yet you find that you are almost frightened to reach out and take it?

That is where I am. I put myself out there. I took a chance. I took yet another leap of faith. I risked nothing but rejection. And ... it is starting to happen. A dream is becoming reality.

I have been writing within the comfort of my little blog space for four years. At times I write something that is deep and meaningful. Sometimes thought provoking. Other times it is purely inane and almost a waste of words. Daily life and how I absorb it is what I write about here. This blog is me. It is my home.

I have been asked to write a column for a monthly paper. They wanted a writer for their Senior Page. So I tried writing within the guidelines that I was given. I was told what they were looking for, with the disclaimer that 'they will know it when they read it'. And they would let me know if I was a 'fit' for their paper.

Well? I missed the mark. But!!! Writing what came natural to me got me the job!

Instead of being placed on the Senior Page, they are going to find me another spot within the paper. I have been given some guidelines which fall very close to the way that I write (when I truly have something to say). They would like me to write my little story, give some examples and wind it all up with something for the reader to mull over when they are done. "Food for Thought" was the title which was suggested.

That conversation has most definitely given me a lot of food for thought! I think of little else (when life isn't drawing me into the necessity of earning a living and tending to life-outside-of-our-home). I am consumed with the process.

Can I do an effective job? Will my next set of 'edits' result in what they are looking for? Can I write on demand? Am I up to the task??

Then there is the small stuff.

I must submit a photo of myself. This causes me much greater angst than writing does. I am in control of my writing abilities. But my physical appearance?? It is what it is. And that ain't purdy. I can handle the reflection in my mirror because it changes a little from day to day. But to capture this reflection on an unchanging 'canvas'?  I have aged five years just thinking about it.

I was invited to add my website and email address which they would add to the end of each column. The question is ... do I want to add my blog site? Or should I start up a completely separate web address? This blog has become personal. I write what I want to write, when I want to write it. Sometimes it is blog-worthy. Sometimes it isn't. I am comfortable here. Do I want to invite a completely different set of readers into my home here? I am far more comfortable inviting my existing readers over to my 'new place'. My vacation home ...

I have another paper that sounds 99% committed to my column and a third paper that is asking questions that could lead to something.

This is happening, people! This is really happening!!

I am on the edge of a dream and I feel like I am on the cusp of waking up to a whole new reality. It is exhilarating. But it is a little bit frightening.

I am taking something that I love to do ... and turning it into a job. If all goes according to plan (yes, I have ulterior motives), this is one part of my retirement plan. To write, so that I can subsidize my ultimate retirement goal - to run a Bed & Breakfast.

They guessed that I was a housewife (according to what I had submitted). When I corrected them and told them that I was presently a secretary, I could hear the deflation in their voice. Housewife trumped secretary. Do you know what? I tend to agree.

This secretary gig is a transition job. It is getting me from 'A' to 'B'. In my heart, I am an entrepreneur. I am doing what must be done to make my way to where I want to go. And I am getting there. I really am!!

Have you ever had that moment where life is handing you exactly what you dreamed of, worked towards and wanted. But you were afraid to grasp it for fear of bursting that bubble?

When your hopes and dreams become your reality ... where do you go next??