Wednesday, March 19, 2014

It Can Change on a Dime

It can come out of no where. I know this. I deny this. But I know that this can come true. It didn't. But it could have...

Life can change on a dime.

Yesterday? It didn't. Nor did it the day before. But it could have.

Our family has faced some devastating losses this past while. We have been reminded that life is precious and every day is a gift. We know that we must cherish what we have, while we have it. And I believe we do ...

Yesterday morning, my brother sent all of us a text that started with the words "Don't be alarmed but Mom called an ambulance..."

I took him at his word. I think (hope) that he sensed that all was fine and that my mom's trip to the hospital was a fact-finding mission as she took a trip to the ER for further testing.

Two days prior, my sister sent a text to us that had much the same vibe. They had taken her husband to Emergency and he was spending the night in the hospital as a precautionary measure. He has been doctoring for a while but the tests were delayed and they still didn't know what they were dealing with.

I have a feeling that all is going to work out just fine in both of these cases. I have no idea if it is a strong sense of assurance or if it is simply denial. I am not going to question the 'why' of it. I am just going to believe.

I can't help but think of my cousins who have walked a similar path with their parents and the outcome was not so straight forward. They walked down an unfamiliar road to a destination that they did not choose.

Sometimes you see it coming. Sometimes you don't.

Almost three years ago (to the day), I wrote this:

"I lied. I'm not ready. I'm packed and ready to go at a moment's notice. But I'm not ready."

I had barely hit the "Publish Post" button of my last blog entry when the phone rang. It was my brother. Mom was on the way to the hospital by ambulance as we spoke.

Our request is simple. Not only do we hope that they soon find the root of this health issue for Mom ... but we ask that whatever they may find, may be fixable.

I feel like a young, naive child again when I implore to the skies above, "Just fix her ... she is worth fixing!"

Thursday, March 10, 1983 was the night that my dad suffered a massive heart attack. His body didn't give up the fight but we lost our dad that night.

Is it a coincidence that Mom's health issues hit a crescendo so close to this same date?

My instincts are telling me that all is okay. I don't have a little voice whispering doubts in my ear. I simply feel ... calm.

Is it the calm before the storm? Are my spidey senses keen and aware that our family is not in danger at this time? I guess the truth of it is that I just am okay with feeling okay. I will continue to plan future events because (I think) we all enjoy the anticipation of something fun and easy on our horizon.

Life can change on a dime. Don't stop living because of it. Live harder. Breathe deeper. Laugh longer. Savor that which is good while you have it. Not because you are afraid of what lies in store ... but because it is simply a good habit to incorporate into your daily life.

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