We Are Family

2008 has felt like 'The Year of Family' in my world ...

Writing about Mom's family over the course of last winter certainly piqued my interest in family and the connection we share. Being a part of organizing Mom's birthday gathering was yet another time that felt so incredible to be enveloped in family. There has also been a graduation, a wedding, a funeral and an anniversary celebration to bring family together this summer.

It is such a blessing when we can gather together when the occasion is one of light heartedness and celebration.  The pain of losing someone is eased, when it is enveloped in between other family gatherings and a chance to be surrounded in the kinship of family.

I don't know if it my age or just my perspective on things, as we all gain a few more years. But to me, every time that we can get together, get reacquainted (or acquainted for a first time) and feel that familiarity that comes from the 'family connection' it is a most precious gift.

Looking back in time and putting together Mom's family's story started the process which has me longing to know my family and find my 'roots'. The desire to look into doing the same thing with Dad's family is grounding me some more...

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to take a walk down memory lane (literally). I have had such a strong urge to go back to our farm yard and see what I remember and what resurfaces as I look at the familiar lay of the land. My Sister and Mom were kind enough to join me in my little adventure. It was exactly what I had hoped for. At a glance, little looks the same. The house is gone, some buildings are missing, trails are grown in and miscellaneous machinery and buildings are around the yard. But the landscape is the same and we are pretty sure we found the old shortcut to the school across the field.

My strongest memory of growing up is the smell of lilacs in the back yard. I was so happy to find the lilacs that are the hold that I have to my childhood. I feel like I have found my roots.

As I search for ways to reconnect with my family, capture old memories and make new ones I am realizing just how important it is to me to feel 'grounded'. I have secluded myself most of my life. As a quiet child, I placed a distance between myself and most of the people around me. As an adult, I made some detours in life and I had to pick up the pieces of my life and carry on a few too many times. I was very self conscious of the person I had become and the decisions that I had made that defined me. I continued to keep my distance. But the path that I have been following this year seems to feel like I am coming home ... at last. Closing the distance between myself, family and friends has charted the road that I have been following. Going 'home' to our farm was another small piece of the puzzle that I've been putting together.

Feeling grounded. Feeling secure in the world among family and friends. Cherishing what you have. Following a new, uncharted path that is leading to a place that feels warm and joyous.

I've found a promising new road. And I plan to follow where ever it may lead.