No Time For TV

I was so relieved when the TV season wound to a close this past spring. I ceremoniously took the tape out of the VCR and turned it off. I was no longer bound to the various TV shows that I regularly taped and became addicted to.

The TV has been off all summer, except for the times that Kurt and I sit down to watch a movie together. Whether I stay awake for the entirety of the movie is another thing. I may have been fully conscious for half of the time. Maybe.

Our dance instructor (for our group formation) has a few movies he would like us to watch to help us 'get in character' for the dance we are performing (I believe the second movie is one that we will all relate to due to our shared anxiety about this routine coming together in time for our performance). My heart skips a beat at the anxiety of trying to fit watching a movie into my ever-too-short-days.

Then there is the new fall season that I am starting to hear rumblings about. I heard an advertisement for 'Dancing With the Stars' as I was a semiconscious state in the middle of the night (I do turn on the TV to lull myself back to sleep when I have a restless night). I sighed and thought that this will have to be the season that I miss out on the drama of putting those dance routines together each week. The commitment is beyond my means this year.

I am addicted to too many TV shows! I don't even want to think about the cliff hangers from the season finales. I will feel too obligated to tune in and see how things are resolved. Even as I type that sentence, I just know that I will have to tune into 'Private Practice' and check in to see how Violet survives (and I'm sure she will) the scene they left her in all of these months.

On further thought, I also realized that my fascination with the many bloggers that I have added to my reading list, may have helped to fill the gap of the TV dramas that I was lacking. I do believe that no matter what TV shows I may or may not watch, I seem to look outside of my own world for drama and entertainment.

The 'time budget' that I laid out for myself at the onset of my new school routine isn't going so well.

Week #1, I succeeded the best. No outside interference was tampering with my plan to get my book keeping done in my after-school/evening hours. I set out a schedule, followed it and just about wore myself out in the process. But the reward was a weekend completely free and clear of all work obligations.

Week #2, I ended up wasting time. Work wasn't available when I had the time. I did have the time to work on a different project, but because I didn't know ahead of time that I would have the time to work on it ... I didn't have it available to work on. The day that my book keeping work arrived (just in time for the weekend) was the same day that I could have started working on this other project. A frittered week. And a weekend that I could have worked through both days ...

Week #3 (this past week), was a different story all together. Family commitments came first. They were important to put to the top of the list. I wouldn't have done it any other way, but it is a prime example of what 'life' is like. You have to expect the unexpected.

Budgeting my time is something I'll have to iron out as the months progress. I knew that I was pushing the limits, agreeing to join the group formation. But I didn't realize that there would be movies to watch (to enhance our learning and dancing experience) and extra practise time to work in. Yikes.

Each of my sons are in a very different stage of their lives. What they are going through right now, is as individual as they are. I love the fact that they are coming to me ... to visit and update me on their lives ... or to talk and sort through things (and have found me somewhat useful as a sounding board) ... that they want to have a weekly 'family supper' ... and Kurt? He just wants me to sit still and not be so busy all of the time.

Me? I want it all. My petition for 28 hour days and an 8 day week continues. I'm doing the best with what I have, but with the limited number of hours in the day and days in the week ... I can't 'do it all'. Believe me, I'm trying.

But what I'd really like most of all, is to have 45 minutes at the end of the day to sit still and watch a favorite TV drama unfold before me. What I really, really want ... is to be able to stay awake long enough to enjoy it.