When It's Meant to Be ...

This past fall, I was came up with the idea of trying to rent out a room in my home to help subsidize the 'high cost of dancing' within my student budget. I let my intent be known to family and close friends. I knew that I needed to be very comfortable with who ever may end up having a 'key to my life'. I was hopeful that a relative of a relative may be in need ... a person doesn't know, if you don't ask. So I asked.

It was frightening to think of giving a virtual stranger access to our home but I trusted that 'what was meant to be, would be'. I talked to my youngest son about the possibility of renting out our room downstairs and he was aghast at the idea. I told him that we wouldn't let just anyone move in ... we would both meet the person and we would both have to be very comfortable with them. This is our life and our home and I guard the 'peace within', with my life. I would be very careful.

I had a few people voice their concerns over my plans. I assured them that it would be okay. If no one called, that was fine. If someone showed interest and it wasn't a good fit, I would say "No thank you".

Although there was interest, no one knew anyone in need. So the room stayed vacant. That was okay too. We have a very calm home life and I like it that way. It wasn't meant to be. But I knew that there was always a possibility that eventually someone may be interested. It feels good to have a back up plan when you are on a student budget. This room was my Plan C or D.

Well, the room is vacant no more.

When Second Son made a real estate purchase this past month, I made him an offer. An offer where each of us had something to gain. He would save half of the cost of his rental/bills/insurance; and I would use his room and board to put towards going to an upcoming dance competition.

Sixteen days ago, he formally took me up on my offer. He would move back home between the 1st and the 15th of January.

At no point during this transaction have I had the "Oh no!! What have I done???" feeling. There was no internal countdown thinking we had only "X" amount of days to enjoy what we have come to know as normal around here.

My one and only fear, is that day to day living will take away the specialness of our visits. Meeting for coffee or lunch in the middle of the day ... or a drop in visit where he updated me on things in his life. It's nice when you live a life separate and apart from your children. You appreciate them on a whole new level. I hope that we can somehow hold onto that specialness even though we are now living together under the same roof.

Yes, "now". His move-in date got bumped ahead and he moved back home this weekend. He called Saturday afternoon to tell me the change of plans and he had all of his necessities of life moved in by Saturday evening.

I stopped what I was doing, to empty out the room he would be moving into. The room was empty by the time he arrived with his first load.

At no point did I think "Oh no!" or "I don't have time for this" or "I thought I had 2 more weeks ..." Nothing. Pure and utter acceptance.

This go-with-the-flow feeling is something that is new to me. I have a pretty predictable and regimented life. When things don't go according to plan or by the schedule I have mapped out in my mind, I am easily thrown for a loop.

Not this time. I am completely 'at one' with this decision.

When it's meant to be ... this is how good it feels.