Done With Daycare?

I am not babysitting any kids ... all summer. My last child's last day was this past Friday. It was the end of an era that was lost in the whirlwind of all that I had going on in my life last week.

I didn't make or take the time to reflect on the moment. Or was there actually a defined moment to reflect upon?

I have weaned myself out of the daycare world since I started school last September. It was a good way to go.

I had older kids that basically just needed an adult in attendance. I didn't have to do a lot for them. They were all pretty self-maintained beings.

It felt wonderful not to be needed quite so much. The little ones who needed a little piece of me all day long were getting harder to manage. Not that the kids or the job changed. It was me. I was tired of my role.

A young neighbor-child was drawn to our yard when I had company over this past weekend. This child reminded me of a little guy that I used to take care of. I felt like I knew him. So when I walked him back home to let his parent know where he was, instead of saying "Here's your child ... keep him"; I said "Your little boy wandered into my yard ... he's welcome to come and play as long as it's okay with you".

I didn't even think about it. I just said it. It was only after my Middle Son said that he wouldn't have handled the situation the way that I did, I thought that this was not the way I normally would handle this kind of thing either. Who have I become?

Is there a small piece of me mourning what I have lost? I know that the direction my life is going is the way that I want it to go. But it is a comfort to look back and reflect on those wild and crazy days of running my daycare and miss it. Just a little.

Am I done with daycare forever? For the most part, yes. But there will always be a piece of me that will remember the sweet moments and the wide-eyed innocence of children. It was a good run.