"I Like Who I Am When I'm With You"

I finally got around to watching the season finale of 'The Good Wife'. What was the quote that resonated with me long after the show was over? When Will told Alicia, "I like who I am, when I'm with you".

What a very telling statement.

When I was young and insecure, I was a different person around different people. I remember a time when three different people in three completely different areas of my life all ended up working together in one office. An old boss, a best friend and a neighbor. Omigosh. There was a little bit of panic within me, when I realized that if all three of them amalgamated those three separate pieces of me together, they would know who I really was.

Little did I know at the time, that people have much better things to talk about. But what was brought to my consciousness, was the degree that I changed when I was around different people.

That was about a quarter of a century ago. A lot has changed in that time.

I have meshed all of the pieces of my personality together and I am now the same person, no matter who I am around.

But what have I noticed as I have come to accept the 'one' person that I have become? I notice the difference when I change in the company of someone.

I have let some friendships slide because I have to pussyfoot around issues, be careful of what I say and withhold information that I usually talk about easily. There are 'unwritten rules' that have become part of that relationship.

I have not exiled anyone from my life, but I don't go and seek people out when I am not comfortable being myself in their company.

How and when did all of this come about?

I simply cannot pinpoint one exact incident. But I do have a particular circle of friends who were the first group of people that encouraged me to be the 'me' that I am. They accepted me for the person I was and I liked the person I became, when I was in their company.

The 'person' I was, when I was in the company of this group of friends became more confident. And I started being 'that person' more often. The person I had been all along.

There is a snowball effect in life. Whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, you seem to attract people to the negative or the positive in your life. After a decade of living a life where my friendships were based on how to survive in a bad situation, it was life changing to form friendships based on focusing on the positive.

When choosing a life partner, I think it is imperative that you choose someone who makes you feel 'the best you can be'. If a relationship brings out the parts of you that you don't like ... look very hard at the reasons why you are pursuing it. If you aren't at your best, chances are that the other person isn't either.

I would rather be alone, than be part of a relationship where I was not allowed the freedom of being who I am. I want to be likable ... and to do that, I must like the person that I am.