Holiday Reflections

Be it ever so humble ... there's no place like home! We are back. As it is, with any holiday (or any time I leave the house) I love coming home.

I had an hour long visit with my cousin (half way to our first holiday destination) and an hour long visit with a good friend before check-out time at our hotel (at our last holiday destination). 'My Boys' visited amongst themselves the entirety of our (almost) three day adventure. They swam, played their 'Nintendo DS Lite' games, explored the sights together and simply enjoyed themselves. And I was quiet.

I watched and listened to the rapport between My Son and his friend. They are opposite in many ways but their friendship works.

I marvelled at the way My Youngest handled some of his friend's behaviours. He separated the behaviour from the person and set 'limits' with his friend. Certain behaviours simply weren't acceptable, right or age appropriate. My Youngest treated his friend with respect, reined him in at times and they just kept right on with the fun and games at hand. I thought to myself, "If this is the result of growing up in a daycare, I'm grateful ..."

Once upon a time, I would have allowed these 'behaviour issues' to ruin my holiday. I would have focused on the negative, stuck my nose in where it didn't belong (My Son was handling these little scenarios perfectly - without drama or sacrificing the friendship) and it would have interfered with their own abilities to work through a moment.

I like what I see, when I watch My Youngest and how he handles things.

He's a quiet boy. He doesn't speak unless he has something to say. To those who don't know him well, he appears to be shy. But for those that find a topic they have in common, they see him differently. He becomes fully animated and passionate about things that excite him. I like the fact that he 'spends his words' wisely.

I listen to the way he speaks to other children. He is respectful with his words, sets boundaries and doesn't play with those that don't follow the rules. It started out with the fun and games that he orchestrated with my young daycare crowd. Then he took his expectations (that people play fairly) to school with him. There have been some frustrations, hurt feelings and growing pains along the way ... but at age 12, I like what I see.

I see a child who is firm in what he believes and expects. Fitting into the crowd doesn't seem to be what motivates him. Friends that are respectful, honest and treat him with kindness is more important.

I admire the fact that he can separate the behaviour from the person. It's possible to like a person despite their imperfections. Adults could learn from him.

I like the fact that My Youngest doesn't look to me to run interference. He's testing his wings and handling things on his own. At one point My Youngest turned to me in exasperation because his friend was bored and taking the fun out of an experience for him. But he was venting a moment of frustration and if anything, it seemed more of an apology for his friend's behaviour than a plea for help.

I was grateful for the quietness of this holiday and an opportunity to see My Youngest in a new light.

I asked him if he enjoyed the holiday, and he did. I asked if he was glad his friend came along. Despite the challenging moments, he didn't hesitate for a moment and he told me that he was glad that his friend came along. His friend provided companionship and a refreshing new insight to the sights that we had seen many times before.

It's been a quiet and lonely summer for My Youngest. This holiday was for him. I felt that he deserved this time long before we left. But upon our return, I realize that this holiday was a gift for me as well. It's nice to step back and look at your children in action.

This twelve year old phase has been different for each of my children. I know that the road could be full of twists and turns from this point on. I believe that we are setting out on this next phase of development on solid ground.

I think this will be a holiday that I will reflect on, for years to come. I hope My Youngest feels the same.